Drown Me (Joshler)

Twenty Five

A/N
Hey again. Sorry I haven't uploaded for a couple of days, I had some serious writer's block. It's gone now, so I might have another update today. No promises though. Thanks so much frens for over 800 views! Who would've thought this would have over 0 views. Thanks again. Stay alive frens, ily guys |-/

***Josh POV***

    Tyler and I had decided to play music again. He asked if we could play one of our older songs, and I agreed. We sounded pretty good until Tyler stopped. I stopped playing, too.
“Ty? What’s wrong?” I asked him, but he didn’t answer. Tyler started shaking, and he crumpled to the floor. I shot up and ran to his side, crouching down next to him.
“J-Josh?” Tyler stuttered.
“Yeah? Ty?”
“Why am I like this?” I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and sat down. I didn’t really understand what he meant.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know… Why am I not getting better?” Tyler asked me quietly. I wrapped my arms around him and felt tears rolling down my cheeks, onto Tyler. I didn’t have an answer for him because honestly, I didn’t know either.
“Oh Ty… I’m sorry.” I managed to say before I started crying. Tyler trembled underneath me, and I knew he was crying too. It hurt to see him like this, to know what went on in his mind. He shouldn’t have had to go through that.
“I love you Josh.” Tyler said through the tears.
“I love you too, Ty.”

    Eventually, when we stopped crying, we went upstairs to our bedroom. It was starting to get late, and we were both tired enough to go to sleep. I laid down next to Tyler.
“Ty, I’m really sorry.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you to get better, to be happy… And I just don’t know how to help you.” Tyler rolled over so he faced me, and he put a hand on my arm.
“Josh, you are helping. You can’t do anything else. I have to do this on my own, okay?”
“But-”
“Please, let me handle this. You’ve done so much for me already, now I have to do this on my own. Okay?” I didn’t want to, but I nodded. I couldn’t make Tyler let me help him. He was able to make decisions on his own, even if I didn’t agree with them.
“Okay.” I said quietly, barely above a whisper.
“Thank you. Love you.”
“Love you too, Ty.” We fell asleep shortly after that, Tyler’s hand still on my arm.

***

    When I woke up, Tyler wasn’t in bed, and the smell of bacon and eggs filled the house. I went downstairs. Tyler was in the kitchen, trying but failing to flip eggs.
“Here.” I said, stepping into the kitchen, making Tyler jump. “Let me do it.” I took the spatula out of his hand and flipped the eggs over, noticing that the eggs were completely black on one side. I didn’t say anything, though.
“Thanks.” Tyler said, and I just nodded. I moved out of the way when Tyler had to take the bacon out of the oven. At least he knew that bacon cooked in the oven was better than bacon fried on top of the stove. I sat down at the kitchen table, and Tyler put the bacon and eggs on two plates, one for him and one for me. He set them down on the table, placing one in front of me and one front of him, and sat down across from me.
“Thank you.”
“Yep.” Tyler said. We ate in silence.

    The talk we had the night before definitely created tension. I loved Tyler and wanted to help him. I knew that Tyler wasn't strong enough to handle his problems alone, even if that wasn't something I liked saying. Tyler wasn't weak, he just wasn't able to take care of himself without support. I had to be his support. I had to be his shoulder to cry on, his hand to hold… But, if he didn't let me help, I couldn't. That hurt.

    I wanted to reach across the kitchen table and lift Tyler's chin up. I wanted to look Tyler in the eyes and tell him I loved him. But, I didn't. Tyler stared at his plate while we ate breakfast, silent. I wanted to break the silence, talk to Tyler. But, I didn't.

    When we were both done eating, I took both of our plates and put them into the kitchen sink. Tyler got up and went into the living room, sitting down on the couch. He pulled out his phone. I went into the living room and sat down next to him. The silence was unbearable.
“Ty, we need to talk.” Tyler looked up from his phone at me for a moment. He seemed like he was about to say something, but he stopped himself. He looked back down at his phone.
“Tyler. I'm serious. We need to talk.” I said with a sigh. Tyler sighed too and tapped a few more times. He looked up at me again as he put his phone down.
“Yes?”