Drown Me (Joshler)

Twenty Four

A/N
I finished writing that last chapter at like 4 am, so I hope it was okay. I still have so many ideas, but I'm thinking after so many chapters, I might make a sequel. Maybe not. It depends. Stay alive frens, seriously |-/

***Tyler POV***

    I explained the dream I had while I was in a coma to Josh, and he brushed it off. I assumed he didn’t care and I decided to brush it off, too. The dream probably didn’t mean anything. That didn’t explain how Josh recognized my song, though. How did he know it? Maybe he just got it confused with a different song. Yeah, that was probably right. He did listen to a lot of music, so he probably just heard a song similar to mine.

    I thought about it for a while. Then, I remembered. I had written that song when I was still in school, just before I went into high school. I used to sing it all the time, walking down the halls, at lunch, in the bathroom… Everyone got so annoyed because I was constantly singing. There was one boy named… Josh. He walked past me singing it a few times and smiled, but he never said anything. He was friends with the popular kids until we started high school. There was only one way to find out if my theory was right.
“Hey Josh?”
“What?”
“Were you popular in middle school?”
“Kind of, yeah. But in high school, I came out to my friends, and they weren’t very accepting.” Josh just shrugged it off, and turned towards the TV.
“Oh, that sucks. Sorry. I was asking because I think you went to school with me, and that might be why you knew my song.” He looked at me again. I watched as he thought for a while, and I saw his face practically light up. Josh remembered me.
“Yes! You used to sing that all the time! How did I forget?” Josh grinned.

    Yes, I was happy that he remembered my song after so long. In all honestly though, it made me feel worse that he didn’t remember me. Josh forgot about me. Not like I could talk, though. I forgot about Josh, too. It just made me really upset that we passed each other in the halls, we had classes together, and we hadn’t ever said anything to each other. He wasn’t quite like the other popular kids, and I appreciated that, but he never tried to stop them from doing bad things. They hurt me almost daily, and he just watched. That hurt more than the physical beatings from his friends.

    Though I wasn’t very happy about that, I wasn’t going to hold it against Josh now. The past was the past. Josh wouldn’t ever be like that again. He cared about and loved me, and he would protect me now. Right? I wanted to believe that, but I couldn’t. No matter how much Josh loved me, he wouldn’t be able to protect me. So, I had to protect him. I still loved Josh. Things that happened when we were younger wouldn’t ever change that. Josh was all I had. We loved each other.

***

    Josh and I agreed to play music because it had been a while, so we went to the basement. I had written some songs since the last time, but I didn’t want to play them yet.
“Josh, can we play ‘Holding On To You’ again?”
“Sure.” He sat on his stool and counted off. I started singing.

“I'm taking over my body
Back in control, no more shotty
I bet a lot of me was lost
Ts uncrossed and Is undotted
I fought it a lot
And it seems a lot like flesh is all I got
Not anymore
Flesh out the door
Swat

I must've forgot
You can't trust me
I'm open a moment and
Closed when you show it
Before you know it
I'm lost at sea
And now that I write and think about it
And the story unfolds
You should take my life
You should take my soul.”

    I had to stop. I couldn't find my voice and the words wouldn't come out. Josh stopped playing his drums.
“Ty? What's wrong?” I tried to answer him but couldn't. Thoughts came back. The voices in my head came back, making my head pound and everything blurred. As my legs gave out and I fell to the floor, Josh stood up and ran to me.
“J-Josh?”
“Yeah? Ty?”
“Why am I like this?” I managed to ask. Josh looked into my eyes and sat next to me on the floor.
“What do you mean?”
“I-I don't know… Why am I not getting better?” Josh wrapped his arms around me, and I felt his tears on my shoulder.
“Oh Ty… I'm sorry.” His voice was shaky. Josh was crying. I felt so guilty for making Josh sad. He didn't deserve this. My vision started to get blurry and my eyes were filled with tears. Josh held me as we cried together.
“I love you Josh.”
“I love you too, Ty.”