Drown Me (Joshler)

Thirty

***Josh POV***

***One month later***

    Tyler and I had been doing so good for about a month. I had a few nightmares, Tyler had a few nightmares… That was it. I might have had one panic attack, but it was so small that I didn't count it. It only lasted for about a minute, so I didn't really consider it a panic attack. Other than that, things had been great for us. But, all good things must come to an end. Tyler and I were talking about playing a few more shows and then taking a break when Tyler kind of spaced out.
“Ty? What's wrong?”
“W-What? Oh, nothing.” He mumbled and then smiled at me. I knew he wasn't really smiling, though. It was just part of his mask. I was tired of Tyler not talking to me about his thoughts and feelings. It hurt that he didn't want to talk to me about it.
“Seriously. What's wrong?”
“I said nothing.” Tyler got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. I followed him.

    Tyler didn't realize I was behind him, and he sat at the kitchen table. He put his head in his hands.
“Ty?” I got closer and put my hand on his shoulder. He tensed up.
“Please, just leave me alone.” Why was he acting like that? One minute we were sitting on the couch, happy and joking around. Next minute, he was almost in tears and telling me to leave him alone.
“Tyler… You can tell me what's wrong.”
“No.”
“Please?” I asked, begged. He just shook his head and shrugged my hand off his shoulder.
“I need some time to think.” Tyler walked out of the kitchen and started going up the stairs.
“About what?!” He turned around to face me, and I saw tears streaming down his face.
“About us, this, everything! I don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't know if I can last much longer. I need a break.” He went up the rest of the stairs and went into our bedroom. I stood at the bottom in shock. He wouldn't leave me. Right? Tyler wouldn't do that.

    I sunk to the floor and leaned against the wall. I drew my knees up to my chest and let the tears that had built up fall. Tyler was really going to leave. He came back downstairs with his backpack on his back, and sat next to me. He was shaking.
“Josh, I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore. You'd be so much better off without me and-”
“No. Tyler, you're the one keeping me together.”
“I have to go.” Tyler looked down. He stayed by my side for a few seconds, then stood up and walked to the door. He turned around to face me again.
“Please stay.”
“I can't. Bye Josh.” With that, he opened the door and left.

***

    My heart felt like it was being ripped into millions of pieces. I couldn't handle it. Without thinking, I put my shoes on and walked out the front door. I didn't know where I was going until I arrived. The bridge. It was where I had met Tyler. He was about to jump, and I saved him. He saved me, too. I loved Tyler so, so much. He was everything I had. Without him, I was nothing. I was empty.

    I sat on the railing of the bridge and looked out at the gray water. It glistened in the sunlight. It looked so… Inviting. I wanted to be down in the water, on the rocks. I wanted my red blood to dye the gray water black for a second. I wanted so many things, and I was prepared to make some of them happen when I heard someone cough behind me.

    I turned around and saw Tyler. His tear-stained cheeks were flushed pink from the cool air.
“Don't do it.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Nevermind that. Just… Please don't jump.” He came closer to me and grabbed my hand. He tried to pull me down, and I let him.
“Why did you leave?” I whispered.
“I don't know. I was being stupid. I'm so, so sorry. You didn't deserve that.” We sat down and he held me as I cried into his chest.
“I-I was really-” I stopped when Tyler lifted my head up so I was looking into his eyes.
“Shhh. Josh, stop. I'm never going to leave you, so I don't want you to ever leave me. Understand?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I love you.”
“I love you too.”

    I did. I really, really did. When he left, it felt like I was being stabbed over and over in the heart. He hadn't even been gone for very long before I decided to go to the bridge. I was really going to jump. But, Tyler saved me. Again.
“Ty?”
“Josh?”
“Can you sing for me?”
“Of course.” He cleared his throat and began.

“Here I come
Come to you
In the very clothes
That I killed
Killed you in
Now I know
I'm alone
I walk to you
Rain falls from you
Can you wash me
Can you drown me.”

    Tyler was so beautiful. The sun was just starting to set in front of us, and as he sang, he held me and we watched the sunset together. I loved Tyler so much. He skipped the rap part of the song, just how I liked the song the most.

“Here I come
Come to you
Just to show that blood soaked through
Through my bones
And all I own
Is there a way for me to grow
I walk to you
Rain falls from you
Can you wash me
Can you drown me.”

    Tyler paused for a second. I looked up to see his cheeks were wet. I reached up and wiped the tears away, and he smiled as he sang the last word, the word I never heard him end the song with before.

“Please.”

A/N
Hey. Guess who's back. That's right, I finally have a full chapter done. Actually, this is the end. What?! There will be a sequel, I just have to figure out the title and finish writing the first chapter. I have plans though. Thank you all, but FISHJISH really deserves a huge thank you for being so amazing. Thank you fren. Stay alive frens, seriously. It gets better |-/

Also, I'd like to mention that this chapter was exactly 1000 words excluding the authors note. Nothing special, I'd just like to point that out. The average was like 805 or something.