my life now | sequel to cyslm

Chapter 11

I parked by the curb and turned off the car. I let out a deep breathe as I felt my heart rate speed up. Looking in the rear view mirror I saw Nathan had fallen asleep during the 20 minute drive. After I removed my keys and got my purse I got out of the car opening the back seat door.

"Nate..Nathan wake up baby doll." He slowly opened his eyes taking a big breathe in and looked around.

"Are we here?" I smiled as I nodded.

"I have to tell you something before I take you out.." He looked at me as he tried unbuckling himself.

"What?"

"Well umm daddy at home Isn your real daddy."

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head in confusion.

"Well when I was 14 I got pregnant with you, and the boy who helped make you wasn't too happy about it, so he left mommy and started to make fun of me at school and get everyone else to do the same thing."

" he was a meany?!" Nathan crossed his arms.

"Yes to mommy he was very cruel so grandma uncle Tyler and I moved to where we live now and that's when I met the daddy you know now"

"Was daddy happy?"

"Well at first daddy was really shocked but he said he loved me very much and that he didn't mind that you were not his baby that he would take over as your dad so yeah I guess you could say he was happy." I smiled trying not to cry.

"Then why wasn't the boy who made me happy?"

"He was young and didn't want a baby."

"But you were young..did he just not want me?" My heart dropped and I couldn't hold back the tears that filled my eyes.

"No baby! That's not it.."

"But you said he didn't want a baby and I was the baby.." I sighed and was lost for words.. I didn't expect my 5 year old son to understand this so well and ask questions like this.

"Bubba I'm sorry I don't have all the answers I'm kind of clueless on a lot of things your real dad did myself but we are going to see him right now so maybe we can finally get answers."

"No! I don't want to see him! He didn't want me and I don't want him!" I was surprised usually Nathan doesn't have this attitude with anything he just goes with it even if he doesn't want to.

"Nate he really wants to meet you.." He just looked at me with tear filled eyes and I felt helpless. I wrapped him in my arms and hugged him tightly.

"You don't have to meet him today if you don't want to.."

"Please." He whispered and sniffed up his boogers.

I buckled him back up and took my phone from my pocket.  The phone kept ringing until the 4th ring.

"Hey are you guys here yet?" Ryan sounded excited.

"Umm yeah but we are leaving.."

"What? Why? You can't keep him away from forever angel!" Ryan was shocked but then became angry.

"It's not me Ryan! I tried explaining the situation to Nathan and he understood it better than I thought.."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" He was clearly frustrated.

"He asked me.. Why did you want him and he said before we got out that if you didn't want him then he doesn't want you." The other side of the line was silent.  Just as I was about to call Ryan's name out to see if he was still on the  phone the line went dead. The dial tone rang for a minute before I hung up the call.

Rubbing my temples I got back in the car and say there.

"Are you mad?" Nathan whispered.

"Why do you say that?" I turned to face him.

"Because you rub your head when you are.." He looked down and twirled his fingers.

"I'm not mad at you sweetie it's Ryan.. Your real dad I'm upset with.."

"Oh.."

"Do you want to go get some ice cream and a new toy?" Nathan perked up and nodded slowly.  Smiling I turned the car on and drove to the ice cream shop near my dads house.