Chasing Home (NFL)

Approaching Graduation

"Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"

– "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield

Chapter 61: Approaching Graduation

I flopped onto the couch and sighed. Everything was moving so fast, and I had so many decisions to make. Tom was in a similar boat. It looked like both of us were returning to our past. That was not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it was probably for the best.

Tom and I stayed in New Orleans for a couple of days and then returned to Massachusetts. The following day, Tom took a flight back to California. I remembered what he said to me right before he left my apartment.

"Do you remember Valerie?" he said, halfway in the doorway. He spoke casually as if it were an afterthought.

I blinked. "Your former fiancé who lives here during football season? Sure. What about her?"

"We've been catching up back in California. I think I am going to ask her out again." He smiled sheepishly. "Is that alright with you?"

His words jolted through my heart. No, I was not alright with it. Yet, what right did I have to say anything against him? The two of us had tried to date, and it had failed. Maybe we could get something to last longer if we remained friends, no matter how much it hurt... "Of course. You can do whatever you want." I forced my voice to be steady and emotionless.

Tom nodded. "Thanks, Lauren. I'll keep in contact with you. I do hope we can continue to be friends."

I smiled slightly. "Me too."

And then he was gone.

About a week later, Peyton joined the Denver Broncos. I was still upset about how it ended with the Colts, but I was happy for my brother and glad he had a chance to continue to play and potentially win the Super Bowl. I decided it was time to focus on my future as well. This was my last semester in college, after all.

The end of the first week of April, Aaron came over to visit. I was happy to see him. The awkwardness surrounding us had almost disappeared, and I could say we were friends again. By then, I had decided on my graduate school. With Aaron's help, I confirmed that I would soon have a job in Green Bay. I was excited to be going home. Moving was never fun, but at least I had people I cared about in Wisconsin. This was the right choice. It had to be.

Aaron left Sunday afternoon, and a whole day had passed since then. I tried to pay attention in class. It was hard when I knew I only had a month left. I stared up at the ceiling.

"You're thinking hard about something."

I jumped when I heard someone speak beside me. My heartbeat slowed when I saw that it was only Freya sitting next to me on the couch. "You scared me."

Freya smirked. "A psychologist should be more aware of her surroundings. So, what's up?"

I hesitated, thinking about how much I should tell her. It was hard enough for me to organize my own thoughts. "I was just thinking about my future."

"Are you wondering if going to Green Bay is the right choice?" She gave me a sympathetic smile. "I'm going to miss you."

"I know. I'll miss you too. It's just time to move on." Staying here would just remind me of Tom. Sure, we were friends again, but it was still too painful to be around him.