Chasing Home (NFL)

Minnesota

“I could never change you, I don't want to blame you
Baby, you don't have to take the fall
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all

It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change”

– “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” by Patty Smyth & Don Henley

Chapter 7: Minnesota

            My second semester at Manhattan College was much less exciting than the first. After the Pittsburg Steelers beat the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl, I ran out of things to do. Brett had already left, so I spent a lot of time with Eli and Abby. When baseball season came around, I idly watched the Mets. At least I was learning how to survive in New York City.

            I was glad when I got to return to Mississippi in May. The big city had worn me down. It was good to be able to sit back and relax with family. Though he had said he was retiring, the Jets had released Brett from his contract and now the Minnesota Vikings wanted him to play for them. He seemed very interested.

            I was surprised when he rejected their offer at the end of July. However, I could tell he was second guessing his decision a few days later. He had not yet talked to me about the prospect of joining the Vikings. Well, we had talked about the possibility of him playing again, but we had never discussed the significance of the team in question.

            One early August morning, I woke to find that the two of us were the only ones up. This was not unusual; we both tended to get up early, especially when we had something on our minds. Brett was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. I was not that hungry, so I made a pot of coffee. Brett thanked me as I set a mug in front of him. Clutching my own in my hands, I took the seat perpendicular to him. The room was silent for several minutes.

            “Lauren,” Brett finally said, looking straight at me, “do you think I should join the Vikings?”

            I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and glanced down at my mug. I had not given the subject much thought, though the implications of what he was suggesting were known to me. I could not escape it. I knew he was asking more than if he should continue to play. He wanted to know if he should play for that particular team. “Minnesota’s not a bad place,” I said. “It’s where I was born. I have some good memories there.”

            “When I might you, you were obsessed with the Vikings and did not want to go with me because I was a Packer,” Brett said, a small grin on his face.

            I frowned. “Yeah, well, that was before I knew better.” I paused. “It might be good to get in touch with my roots. I was thinking about transferring to a Minnesota school, but…”

            “You still love Green Bay,” Brett said as his smile faded. I could only nod. “Would I ruin it for you if I joined the Vikings?”

            I shook my head. “Don’t worry about me. It would be their fault if anything was ruined, not yours. The Vikings are a good team. You could easily fit in with their offense, and I bet you’d be able to make a good run for the Super Bowl. If the Packers don’t like it, that’s their problem.” And I knew they wouldn’t like it. In the trade with the Jets, they had put it in the contract that New York would owe them more draft picks if they traded Brett to Minnesota. Someone was paranoid. “They traded you when you still wanted to play for them. Any contract of loyalty was broken by them. You’re free to go wherever you want without any guilt. The only thing you have to worry about is…”

            “The fans?” Brett said. He smiled grimly. “I’m not sure they’ll see it the way you do.”

            My eyes fell to my mug again. That was it, wasn’t it? There was already something broken between Brett and the organization, but most of the fans still loved him. The city was still his home. Our home. It was a distinct possibility that, if he joined one of their rivals, it would irreparably damage the relationship. We may never be able to return to that city again. It was definitely a consequence worth not overlooking.

            “It will upset them,” I said. There was no way around that. I held onto my mug tightly while staring at it intently. “They will be angry, at least at first. I don’t know if it will last.” I couldn’t imagine them turning on him and hating him. It was unthinkable that they would choose to focus on this one bad mark rather than remember all the good that had come from the relationship. I finally looked up at Brett. His look of concern matched my own feelings. He did not like this either.

            “If they’re the fans I think they are, then they will understand.” I tried to make my voice as steady as possible, but it was still shaking slightly. “They may not like it, but after the hysteria dies down, I think they will accept it.” They had to. How could they throw away 16 years of memories? They had to know Brett did not mean to hurt them. If there was any other way…

            “What if they don’t?”

            Looking into his eyes, I could see that he loved them, as did I. Would that matter to them? Would they be able to see the truth behind his actions? “Then-then it’s on them. We’re family, and family is supposed to love each other no matter what. If the fans choose hatred over love, then everything that follows is their fault. And if that’s who they really are, maybe it’s not worth it to try to please them.” But that did not mean there would be no pain. “You have to figure what you’re willing to live with. Are the possible positive outcomes worth the possible negative outcomes?”

            He looked down at his coffee; he seemed to be contemplating my words. A minute later, he looked up and said, “What are the best and worst possible scenarios?”

            I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Well, in the best case, Packers fans will be mad but mostly keep it to themselves. Then you have a great season with the Vikings and win the Super Bowl. Packers fans resume loving you, and you’ve gained the admiration of Vikings fans as well.” He nodded. “In the worst case, Packers fans become angry and start hating you. You have a terrible season with the Vikings and miss the playoffs. Both Packers and Vikings fans end up resenting you.” I shrugged. “It’ll probably be somewhere in between, but I would lean more towards the first situation.”

            “But I have to be prepared for the worst.”

            There was pain in his eyes as he looked at me, and it was enough to almost break my heart. Deep down, I knew trouble was brewing. If he did join the Vikings, nothing would ever be the same. “Yes,” I said slowly. “You have to decide what is best for yourself.”

            Brett nodded and glanced down at his mug. “Alright. Thank you for talking, Lauren.” He picked up his coffee and took a sip.

            I smiled at him weakly. “Right. No problem.” As I picked up my own coffee, I had a sudden urge to text Aaron. I had not talked to him in over a year. I missed being around him and hanging out with him, and I wondered if he missed me as well.

            I stopped myself as I reached for my phone. What if he did not want to talk to me? After all, he could have texted or called within the past year. It would probably be awkward for me to initiate something considering what was going on. He would contact me if he wanted to talk to me, right? He would not think my silence meant anything. We were both busy getting on with our new lives. And we were still friends. We could work out any misunderstandings. The next time we saw each other, everything would be fine.

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