Chasing Home (NFL)

Burning Fire

“I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming, get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out, oh

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

Face it like a grown up
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad”

– “I Won’t Say I’m in Love” by Disney

Chapter 46: Burning Fire

            I tried not to think about Tom over the next few days, which was difficult when I saw him at work all of the time. We did not talk much, but his smiles and acknowledgements of my presence were enough to drive me crazy. The anxiety was going to kill me. I kept telling myself I should not even care what he decided. It did not work.

            I returned home from work Wednesday evening to find Freya sitting on the couch looking pretty down. “Are you alright?” I asked with a small frown as I set my backpack on the floor and walked over to her and sat down beside her.

            “I broke up with Logan,” Freya said glumly.

            I blinked. “Then why are you the one upset?”

            Freya let out an exasperated sigh. “Because I thought it was going to work out this time! Why do I have such terrible luck with guys?”

            “Well, maybe you’re going about it the wrong way,” I said slowly. “If you get to know someone as a friend first before you start dating him, you’ll be more likely to stay together because you already know you’re compatible beyond a romantic attraction.”

            “Because that’s worked out so well for you,” she snapped.

            I frowned. “If I had stayed in Green Bay, I would be with Aaron right now, so it would have worked. I may have fewer boyfriends, but I also have fewer heartaches. I only go out with someone if I think we may have a future.”

            “How do you know he may be the right one?” My roommate pleaded with me with her eyes. “My emotions keep steering me wrong.”

            “That’s because you need to let reason guide you. Falling in love is about more than just romantic feelings. You may be surprised, but it’s something I’ve thought about a lot.”

            “Then tell me what I should look for!”

            “Ok.” I paused as I organized my thoughts. “Like I said, he needs to be your friend. Your best friend, actually. You should be able to tell him anything, even the secrets you’ve never told anyone. And he should do the same. You should both feel comfortable around each other, like there’s a connection you cannot explain. You should always be there for each other, and he’s the first one you would think to go through with a problem. He should make you feel joy, peace, and happiness, even when you’re not together. Lastly, it should be difficult to imagine your life without him.”

            Freya had her eyes glued on me, taking in every word. “Wow,” she said in awe, “it sounds like you know what you’re talking about.”

            I shrugged and looked away. “Not having many boyfriends has given me a lot of time to think about what I want.” I glanced back at her. “Remember, relationships take work. You can’t expect everything to fall into place just because you’re in love.”