Chasing Home (NFL)

Resistance

“Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on”

– “Stand” by Rascal Flatts

Chapter 22: Resistance

            The Patriots played division rivals the Buffalo Bills at home on Sunday. I hoped we would be able to beat this New York team. I knew division games were always tough. Why in the world we had three scheduled in a row I would never know. The next one was away, so we really needed to win this one.

            Despite my concerns, I remained calm on the outside as I watched the game from the sideline. So far, I had done a good job keeping my emotions in check. Whatever happened, I needed to continue this strategy.

            The game was a close one. The Bills were leading by one point at halftime. Brady played well the whole time, much different from the last game. Once again, I found myself impressed by him. I wanted to get excited as the Patriots were leading in the fourth quarter, and I had to fight to control myself. I bit my lip until it hurt.

            The Bills could not pull through at the end. The Patriots won the game 38-30. There was a grin on my face when the clock ran out. It was getting harder to act like I did not care. Well, it was probably best to get it out of my system in a healthy way.

I ran over to Randy Moss, who had two touchdowns in the game. “Good job out there,” I said.

“Thank you,” he said, smiling.

My eyes found Brady. Something inside of me wanted to go over to him and congratulate him as well, but I was able to hold back. That would be going too far. For now, I was fine.

 
***

            It felt good to come into work on Monday after a victory. The players were much more animated and outgoing. It was nearing the end of my shift when Rob walked into my office. “Good morning, Lauren,” he said with a smile.

            I smiled at him in return. “Good morning, Rob. How are you today?” He usually came in to talk to me a couple of times a week. He often did not want to talk about anything in specific, but I enjoyed his company.

            “I’m good.” He took the seat perpendicular to me like always. It seemed to be more comfortable for him. “How are you?”

            “Fine,” I said. “Better than last week.”

            Rob nodded. “Right.”

            There was an unusual lull in the conversation, so I said, “Is there something you wanted to talk about?”

            “Yes.” He smiled almost nervously like he was unsure if he should proceed. “It’s about Tom.”

            I frowned slightly. “Is something going on between you two?” As far as I could tell, they got along really well.

            Rob shook his head. “No, not me. It’s just – I noticed that you ignore him during games and after we win.”

            His observation surprised me. I did not know he was so attentive. Then again, if they were friends, Brady may have mentioned something to him. Was it really bothering him that much? “What’s your point?” I asked, hiding my uneasiness.

            “Don’t you like him?”

            “No. Any more questions?”

            Rob blinked in surprise. “But – I saw you with him when we were losing to the Jets. And you were concerned about him after his accident a couple weeks ago.”

            I shrugged. “So?” I tried to remain calm and complacent. I did not want to get angry at him, for I knew he did not mean any harm.

            “You care about him in times of distress, but you ignore him when times are good.” A puzzled look crossed his face. “I’m sorry, but that seems backwards to me. Usually, there are people who are there for the good times but disappear during the bad. A good friend is someone who’s there for the bad as well.”

            I shrugged. “I’m not conventional.” I paused. “There’s a difference between caring about someone and liking them.”

            “If you care about him, why don’t you like him?” Rob asked, appearing even more confused.

            “Maybe I’m just a caring person.”

            “No, you treat tom differently than everyone else. You have a connection. You’re purposefully choosing not to like him.”

            I frowned. I had no idea he was so perceptive. I couldn’t ignore him, either, because I felt he deserved an answer. I let out a long sigh. “Yes, you’re right. I don’t want to like him, ok? I don’t want to see him hurt, but I don’t want to be close to him either.”

            “Why not? He’s a good guy.”

            I glanced away. “I know,” I said softly. “It’s complicated.”

            “What’s so complicated about it? Nothing bad is going to happen. Both of you care about each other. What’s so hard about that?”

            I sighed again as I looked back at him wearily. I did not know how to make him understand. I could not even fully comprehend it myself. I knew there was something going on unconsciously, and I was afraid to dig deeper. “How do I know he really cares? He acts like he does half the time, but the other half he does stuff to purposefully bug me.”

            Rob appeared more relaxed now, and a grin spread across his face. “That other half is the reason why you can know he does like you. Trust me, it’s a guy thing. Like how little boys are mean to girls they like.”

            I blinked. “So you’re saying he has the maturity level of a five-year-old. You’re really making a case for him.”

            Rob’s grin vanished. “That is not what I meant. He just wants to get your attention in whichever way he can. I think you should give him a chance.” He was silent for a moment, and he appeared to be thinking about something. “You may think your actions don’t have an effect on him, but I believe they do. I think it would mean a lot to him if you were excited for him during games. It makes me feel down.”

            I glanced down at my lap, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Did Brady really care that I was ignoring him? I had not meant to hurt him. Maybe I did need to rethink this.

            “Just think about it, ok?” Rob said gently. I looked at him to see him standing up. “And have a good day.”

            As I watched him leave, I could not help but wonder if he had a point. Perhaps I needed to lighten up.

***