[COMPLETED] The Letter • A Janiel Story

Chapter Thirty Five

TaylorHarty is gonna kill me for this... MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!! If you are sensitive to any form of self harm, suicide, and/or eating disorders, DO NOT READ. Feel free to message me and I can tell you what happened. If you are going through something. ANYTHING, please, please, PLEASE message me. I WILL listen to you. I will try to help. I love you guys so much. Stay strong and please, if you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, is suicidal/ is having suicidal thoughts, has an eating disorder, cuts, etc., PLEASE be there for them. If they need help, get it for them. If the need someone to talk to, listen. If they need a shoulder to cry on, let them. 💖💖 if you live in the USA, you can call 1-800-273-8255. It's anonymous and they can really help you/ a friend/ a parent/ a loved one. If you live in the UK, call +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90.

Joeys POV
  I got off the plane, gathered my belongings and went home. The plane wasn't bad at all and I didn't have to get the texting app. I did however miss Danny.
  Once I got home, I saw Kyle walk out with a worried expression on his face. He saw me and started sprinting away. Weird. I opened the door and saw Daniel making my favorite food, eggayanyas!!
  "Hey! What was Kyle doing here?"
  "Oh um he just needed a p-place to say last night cuz he got drunk." He stuttered. Suspicious, but I didn't pry. He went to the cupboard and got an ibuprofen. Again, suspicious. He finished cooking and we ate in the living room watching Glee.
  "What do ya wanna do today?"
  "I don't know. I missed you."
  "I missed you too. How was your family?"
  "Good. I miss Jett a lot."
  "Ya he's a nice little guy."
  "Yeah."
  "We could just stay in today."
  "Ok ya that sounds good."
  "Ok" Daniel said, then we went back to watching Glee.
  We just got to season 6 and we're watching the episode where Kurt, Blaine, Santana, and Brittany get married. It made me happy thinking that that could be Daniel and I someday. Standing at the altar confessing our love in front of our families, friends, and God. Vowing to love each other forever.
  "Whatcha thinking about?"
  "Our future."
  "Fun, fun."
  "Yeah. I love you." I said and laid my head on his chest.
  "I love you too, Joey Bear."
  "I need to pee." I got up and went to the bedroom. I wasn't actually peeing. I went upstairs and looked in the trash can in our bed room. I couldn't believe what I saw.

A condom.

I'm really hoping that we didn't take out the trash before we left, but I couldn't be sure. I took out my phone and texted Kyle.

  "Hey do you remember what happened last night?"
  He started typing and then stopped. Then typed again and sent a simple 6 letter word.

 

"Daniel."

  I lost it. I ran to the bathroom crying silent tears and grabbed my extra razor blade from under the sink. I then did something I haven't done in forever. I cut myself. I cut at least 17 times. I stopped counting after that. Once I was done, I got the gauze from the medicine cabinet and wrapped them up.
  Why did he bring him home? Does he not like me anymore? Am I not good enough for him?
  Am I too ugly? I thought to myself and then took out my real razor and shaved my face so there was no hair. I also took out my colored contacts from under the sink and put in my blue ones. Much better.
  Am I too fat? I did another thing I haven't done in a long time. Since high school. I forced myself to throw up.
  That should help.
  Are my clothes trashy? I thought as I then went to Daniels half of the closet and pulled out an outfit from his half and a jacket from my half to hide the cuts on my arms.
  I then did something I NEVER thought I would do. I wrote Daniel, Jett, and Nicole  each a letter about how much I loved them. In Daniels, I included a paragraph on how I will always love him even if he doesn't love me. I said my goodbyes through their letters, went to the bathroom and found 6 bottles of pills. I locked the door and sat on the ground, leaning against the tub. I swallowed 5 of the 6.
  "I love you Daniel. I'm sorry." I screamed, and then swallowed the last bottle. Pretty soon I stared seeing black.
  Good bye, world I thought as darkness swallowed me.

  A/N: Will Joey live?!?!?! Stay tuned till next week to find out! I love you my little peaches 🍑
Byee 💕
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