Always you - Justin Bieber

Part 9 - "Your new guardian"

We arrived back home two days ago. Things haven't been easy, the funeral is in three days and it will be hard but I will not break, I will stay strong I want to make my family proud. Today the foster worker will come round and I am scared, I don't want to be put in a home. I won't be allowed to see none of my friends! I will have a whole new family and a new house the thought is scary.

My heart is broken, I have lost someone and it is hurting me. Everyone is worrying and wanting me to be okay but I lost both my parents unexpectedly. There is nothing left. I cant control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you. With this, it hurts because my mom and dad's death. It isn't fair.

But, in the back of my head, I know that tomorrow is another day. I know the sun will go on shining, and the world has many wonders. I know it is okay to be hurting like this. This feeling un normal, I am human, and this pain makes me more human. I know I cant promise myself it will be okay immediately because I will get my own hopes us. but time heals all, and I will need time to heal my heart and my loss. I will take up all the time I need to let this sink in.

"Amelia?" Justin said and I looked at him and he smiled putting his arm around me. "You okay? She is down stairs" He kissed my temple and I nodded.

"I am scared, I mean what if I get put with a horrible family Justin? I won't be able to see none of my friends!" I said frustrated "I think God is trying to show me how strong I can be, everything happens for a reason I guess." I shrugged and began to walk down the stairs with Justin following me. 

"Dont worry about it." Justin said, he had been amazing to me. He had stayed at my house with me until the funeral and then he will go Atlanta to follow his dreams and I will be stuck in a home for orphans. 

I want him to be happy and follow his dream, and if that means I am not involved then that is fine, because he is the only person I have loved brought to put before myself. Seeing him happy and his smile makes me happy and I know that is what love is. I think? 

Some people are so fortunate, for me it is to have Justin, for Justin it is good luck and talent. This house is hard to stay in with out my mom or dad but I am trying to stay strong and tell myself I can do it and I know I can. They wouldn't want me to be upset. 

We walked downstairs and seen Pattie talk to the foster woman, she was pretty she had long black her and wore colourful dress with flowers on it with small kitten heals. She was in her early thirties about. Pattie was signing a piece of paper and I sat down on a chair my the foster woman.

"Hi Amelia, I am Karen. I take care of children when disasters like this happen, I am sorry for your loss" She smiled in pity.

"Thank you" I said shyly. 

"Okay so you will start staying at Patties-"

"What?" Justin said happily and I frowned in confusion.

"She will be your new guardian." The social worker said smiling happily because she knew this was good news to me and Justin. But is it wrong to be in love with your new brother? Well not brother but close. Oh well, can't help who you love. Thought ran through my head as I felt Justin pick me up and spin me around snapping me back to reality.

"Are you serious?" I said my eyes filling up, Pattie knew how much this would me to me. With the loss the last thing I would need would be to go to a random family. Pattie smiled at me and I hugged her almost knocking her off her feet.

"Your mom and dad would've wanted this sweetheart." She whispered making tears fall "They want you happy, which is exactly what I plan to do, keep you happy." She kissed my cheek and looked at me proudly. 

"Now, I have been told about your past" The social worker said and I turned and looked at her trying to blink my nerves away, she might think I am a freak. "Are you okay? How have you been feeling?" She asked me and I couldn't focus on the question, so I spoke my mind.

"I am good, and I am being honest. My mom and dad wouldn't want me to be sad. Everything happens for a reason and they will be proud of me and I am planning on making that happen. I am dreading but looking forward to the funeral. Goodbyes are good sometimes, the final release of letting go, but it is hard to let go. I am sure I can pull through this." I smiled and felt Justin put his arm around me comforting me.

"That is good, if you ever need me I will give Pattie my number, I know how it feels, so never be afraid to talk to me okay?" She asked and I nodded and mouthed a 'thank you' as she walked out the house then Justin picking me up.

"You will come Atlanta and live with us we will have so much fun, we are moving on Saturday" He said excited not even catching a breath, Saturday is the day after the funeral which is in three days. I smiled, I thought due to the death I would be broken but I know I cant be fragile, I don't want to. I want to be happy.

"I am excited. A new start" I smiled and he smiled back at me. 

"You can help me write songs" He smiled "We will be a duet" He hugged me.

"Justin, focus on you, I am happy they aren't my dreams, they are yours" I giggled "I want to be a song writer" I smiled "Maybe one day that will change and I will let you know because we will live together all the time" I smiled he smiled at me as if he loved me. As if he had never seen me before. Times like this make my heart burst. I wonder what he is thinking, do I really want to know? 

"I am sorry, just excited my best friend will always be there, literally" He laughed letting me join in. But deep down it hurt the word 'friend'. He also didn't know that is the worst sentence he could've said. Because I am so in love with him.

Times like this I thought I had him. For slight moments I thought I had him. I think maybe this time will be difference. We have been close for so long sometimes I think he cares about me. He doesn't mean to play games with me on purpose. I think we could be something, but I lead myself on and thought wrong. We have moments like this then days go onto weeks with little moments or care. I know we make an impact on each other, we will always have a place for each other. I think I am afraid to lose him but my dad always told me if I ever loose someone 'At least the memories don't change, while people do" I know if I ever loose Justin, memories like this will keep me happy and going.

"Thank you Justin" I smiled adoringly at him. 

"What for?" He asked.

"Being you" I said and I think for the first time, he realised how much I meant to him because a flash of guilt, sadness and then happiness came into his face. i think he feels guilty about me loving him or him not loving me back. But my only fear is for him to be in a relationship. I hope he tries it with me first one day, all I ever wanted.