Always you - Justin Bieber

Part 14 - "Why would you care?"

Have you ever felt like you are in a hole and you can't get out? It is like your drowning and you can't be saved, it is a battle that you can't win. It is a week until Justin goes on tour. Ever since our chat he has been distant with me. He might be busy, but even when he is free he won't try and put effort in with me and I can't help but be hurt. Does he hate me? The tour I am scared for, I hope everything goes well. Justin is so talented it is amazing how good he is. I know he has became close to many girls but I am used to being hurt.

"Amelia!" Pattie shouted and I looked up at her in the hotel room, it has been the past week I hate myself. I feel ugly and fat and I haven't ate. I feel like it isn't me but how do I escape this? How can I tell someone how I feel when I don't know myself. "Amelia?" Pattie asked and I shook my head and smiled lightly at her. 

"Yeah?" I said trying to hold the smile.

"Will you go get Justin sweetie, he needs to eat something. You did eat when you was out you did say didn't you?" She asked me and reminded me of my lie I told her I nodded and sighed. "Good" She smiled I nodded lightly and went to Justin's room before slightly knocking. 

"Justin?" I said.

"Come in" He yelled and I walked in his face dropped when he seen me which made my heart beat and tears to come to my eyes. "Oh" 

"Dinners ready" I mumbled and he gave me a awkward grin and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed my coat and threw a old pair of shoes on and sneaked out the hotel.

I felt the fresh air hit my face causing me to feel relaxed and free of the world. There was a forest not far from here so I walked in the woods examining everything and taking it all in. Sometimes I wish I could jump on a plane, have a fresh start. Forget about everything, no one knows who I am and I wouldn't know who anyone is. A real fresh start with no worries in the world. I would change. I would make myself not care and not let anyone in because everyone I have ever cared about left me. 

After walking for half an hour, I found a clear area. There was a cliff, I walked over to the cliff and took in the amazing site it took my breath away. The stars were showing and under was a small lake, the cliff was high. I smiled and sat down looking at the stars and sighed. Three stars were shown. My mom, dad and sister. They shined bright and I couldn't help but cry. I let all my emotions out that I had been holding in.

"I don't know what to do anymore" I sniffed and wiped my nose with my sleeve, while talking to myself but imagining they were all here sat next to me. "I feel like everything good I have in my life leaves me, I don't understand this bad karma that keeps coming for me, I never done nothing." I wiped my tears and placed with my bracelet my mom. My dad gave her a bracelet when they were eighteen. It is a gold carter bracelet and carved 'Till The Day I Die...' which expressed there love. "I feel bad. Like it is never going to get better for me" Tears streamed down my face. "When I am eighteen. I am going. I will go on a plane, and try not tell anyone and disappear. I will get a home, new city, new friends and maybe someone else to love and let in."

I stayed in the place for a few more minutes and just admired the scene until I looked at my phone and realised I had been gone for four hours. I began to run back the hotel as it started to rain. A lot. 

"Shit" I hissed and ran faster in the rain and finally in the hotel. I seen Pattie and Justin talk to the receptionist then the man they was talking to make wide eyes at me and Pattie and Just followed his gaze. Pattie ran over to me and Justin had an angry expression on his face they both pulled me to the hotel.

"You don't know how worried you had me Amelia!" Pattie shouted slightly at me. "Don't do it again okay? Go get a shower" She said I mumbled a sorry and then my arms pulled back.

"Why would you do that?" Justin said as Pattie left the room as he still held my arm. I scolded at him.

"Why would you care, you didn't seem to care after you ignored me" I spat and he sighed. "You ignore me for weeks trying to avoid me at all costs and you decide you worry now?" I laughed.

"I am sorry" Justin said and I shook my head.

"No, that doesn't mean nothing I want to know why. Why is is so easy for you to leave me?" I cried. "Why do you say we are best friends but we are not if you don't care about me, why do you lie?"

"I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me Amelia!" He yelled and I frowned. "I thought if I stopped which I thought would be what you wanted you would get over me!" He sighed I laughed. "I don't like hurting you" He mumbled

"I always want to talk to you. No matter what time it is, where I am or what I am doing I would drop everything for you." I gasped. "It is my choice weather to get hurt or not, I can't control how you feel. I want to stay here with you if I didn't want that I wouldn't be here" I sighed

"Why? Why would you do anything for me?" He asked and I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Because I love talking to you, I love how we talk about the most random shit for hours with no care in the world, I love how you normally keep the conversations going it makes me feel special. I loose track of time when we talk. It may sound silly but you are always on my mind" I shrugged and he pulled me into a hug.

"I will never ignore you again Amelia I promise, I never mean to intentionally hurt you. I could never" He cried and I rubbed his back.

"I know Justin don't worry." I kissed his cheek "We will talk later go pack I am going for a shower" He nodded and wiped his tears before walking away.

I wish life was easy.