We Are Free

Make Ups Or Break Ups

I wake up the next morning I didn't set my alarm or nothing. Emily wakes me up and it is 8:30 school started and hour ago. I quickly get up and get them dressed as fast as I can.
     I call Anna. I tell her what happened she said she talked to Halo but it's up to Halo now. She takes the kids to school and I go with. I take them in and they get to class. I decide not to go to work. I call Halo. She doesn't answer.
"Hey it's me I don't know if you are still mad but your mom took the kids to school. She did say she talked to you. I'm really sorry. If I could take it back I would. You mean everything to me." I start crying.
"Oh my gosh Halo you have no clue what you mean to me. The day I met you I knew you were the one and I finally got you. I don't wanna lose you and I will do anything.
     I made some mistakes that I promise I will never make again. When you left I laid on the floor and cried after the kids went to bed. I cried myself to sleep on the floor and I swear if I lose you I will never forgive myself or be able to live with myself. I love you so much please call me back." I put my phone on the counter and lay on the couch. I turn on the tv and wipe my tears away. I really don't know what I'm going to do without her. I look at the ceiling and think.
     When we started dating I gave her two things. I gave her the keys to my heart and a shotgun. She has already used the keys. Now she has loaded the shotgun and has aimed it right at my heart. There is one thing left is, she going to pull the trigger?
     I look at the back of the couch and a silent tear sneaks down my cheek. Then another. Soon I'm crying and tear after tear rolls down my cheek. I get up and go outside and sit on the back porch. I look into the yard. It was cold out it was January 5th and it was cold.
    It was bearable. I sit on the porch and watch my breath as I breath in and out. I don't know what to do anymore. I look up.
"Mom if your watching over me help me. Guide me so I don't lose her. I know I did some mean things but guide me. Please mom please. She means the world to me and I want her and only her." I hear a nock on the front door. I go to it and open the door. Halo was standing there with red eyes and a tear slides down her cheek.
"Jace."
"What?"
"I herd your message."
"And....?"
"I love you so much. I wanna make this work I wanna be with you forever and I want you to be the father of my children. I want you to be the one I wake up everyday for the rest of my life. I want it to be you.
     You are nothing like Derek and any girl wouldn't be lucky to have you. Out of all the girls in the world you fell for me and I couldn't be happier."
A tear rolls down my cheek hearing her say this. She hugs me and kisses me. I taste salt on her lips and she looks into my eyes. I can see it. She has put the gun down and isn't going to pull the trigger. I let her in it is her house to. We sit on the couch.
"Last night my mom talked to me." She says picking at her nails. The nail polish chipped.
"What did she say?"
"Here is your tea honey." My mom says.
"Thanks mom." I say grabbing it.
"Look, Jace isn't a bad young man. He is in pain and he is sick and he feels helpless. You know he hates feeling that way.
      He is a strong independent person but if he needs help he isn't afraid to admit it. We both know that. You mean the world to him. He told me that before he had you he thought his life was complete but now he says it's just starting.
     He has told me he wants you to be the mother of his children and you are the one he wants to wake up to every morning. He would never do anything to hurt you. I bet you right now after he gets those kids in bed he will go to his room and cry for hours because of what he did.
     He didn't mean it and we both know that. Halo every couple argues it's how you recover that matters. When that boy asked you out and you said yes he gave you two things. He gave you the keys to his heart and he gave you a shotgun.
     You have already used the keys and opened his heart and now you have picked up the shotgun. You have loaded it and aimed it right at his heart. The real question lies yet. Are you going to pull the trigger?"
"Maybe I did over react just I wanna spend the night apart."
"That is your choice honey I can't stop you. You are 21 if you wanna be with him you will do it. If you wanna have a baby your going to. All I can do it help you and guide you the rest is up to you. Think about it sweetie he really loves you."
I wipe a tear away.
"I love you so much. I promise that I wanna make it work I will do anything. You mean the most to me." She says. She wraps her arms around my side.
"I love you so much words can't say. I want all the same things. I just wanna go back to being us."
      "Me to." She says.
      "I wanna be the couple that is "parents" by day and kids by night." I tell her.
     "Yeah me to." We kiss and she looks into my eyes. Words will never be able to say how I feel about her. Last night was the worst night ever.
      "To us." She holds out her pinky finger.
      "To us." I lock mine with her and we lock hands. We kiss again. I couldn't be happier to be holding her in my arms.
    January 20th comes and it is Saturday. Zac and Andrew and I are going bowling today. I have a doctor appointment and and my foot will get X-Rays and the doctor will decide what to do.
Chloe is about 4 months pregnant. The girls are going out to. Halo and I are good. We are working on things and it's getting better. She is staying with me still and living with me.
The kids don't know what is happening they are just happy. My doctors appointment is tomorrow. Zac comes and gets us. Chloe and the girls go to where ever they are going.
Halo and Chloe have become such good friends. We get to the bowling alley and get our shoes. I only get one and we put the rails up for Andrew. We also get a ball stand he can push the ball down with.
He goes first. It takes forever but it eventually hits the pins. Zac goes next and gets a strike. I go and get all but one pin. I can't roll it to hard or I might fall. We bowl for about an hour before we get stuff to eat. We sit and eat.
      "So what's been happening?" I ask.
      "Chloe goes tomorrow we find out the sex of the baby. We both want a girl but as long as both of them are okay and healthy it doesn't really matter." He says.
       "Yeah."
       "We said that if this one is a girl we will most likely stop but if it's a boy we will go again for a girl." He says.
      "Oh yeah you can do it. Just think if I have one baby I already have three kids."
       "Yikes that's a scary thought."
       "I know."
       "I will call you though and tell you what it is."
      "Okay I have an appointment for my ankle tomorrow it will say if I can get off these damn things or not."
      "Yeah that was an epic trick though."
      "It wasn't an epic trick I lost control."
      "It still looked cool."
       "Probably." We finish eating and decide to leave. We go to the mall and go shopping. We go to the baby store. Zac gets a couple things and I do to.
I want to help him some. We leave and go to the little kids store and Andrew gets a few things. When we are done we go to a store that Zac and I both like.
We get some things and leave. We go home and the girls were there already. Chloe had a visible bump and Emily was just so fascinated with it.
      "Jace can I go with Chloe and Zac to the baby appointment tomorrow?" She asks me.
      "I don't care."
      "Yay!!!" She runs around laughing and giggling.
      "You can just keep her car seat in your car." I tell Chloe.
      "Okay sounds good." They leave and Emily shows me what she got. She shows me her nails to. She is so excited about tomorrow.
* The next day*
We all get up and ready to go. I'm nervous and Emily is bouncing off the walls with excitement. She wants it to be a girl so badly it's unreal.
She prayed really hard it will be a girl last night. She gets dressed and stands by the door waiting for them. She runs around and prances through the house. She has a smile from ear to ear just waiting and waiting.
They said they would be here around ten. Finally I hear a nock on the door and Emily runs to it. Zac was there. She gets her coat on and leaves. That kid. She skips all the way to the car. She gets in and they leave.
Halo, Andrew, and I leave. We go to my appointment. I take my boot off and they take X-Rays. It shows that it is healing nicely. The doctor comes in.
      "Okay so you are healing accordingly. That's a good thing we want to see that. You are also young yet and bounce back quick. Umm I still want you on the crutches just because you have broken bones. I want to see you in 4 weeks to take more X-Rays." He says.
      "Okay." I put the boot back on and we leave. Halo makes an appointment and we go home. Zac texts me saying they took Emily out to eat with them. Andrew eats lunch and I don't make him take a nap.
He did crawl up on the couch in between Halo and I. He lays his head on her lap and covers up. We put cartoons on and he soon falls asleep.
      "Well it just got quiet." I say.
      "Yeah it did. I understand it." She says.
      "Understand what?"
      "Why you were acting the way you were."
      "And why is that?"
      "You don't feel that they are my responsibility. You are upset that you can't do your job and you feel mad. Since I am the one taking charge you are mad at me." She says. She has always been a problem solver.
      "I never thought of it that way."
      "Just know that I still love you. It will all be okay and it's okay to admit you can't do it. I knew what I was getting into when I said yes. I also know I wouldn't change it for the world."
She looks at me and smiles as she runs her fingers through Andrew's hair.
      "That means a lot."
      "I'm sure it does."
      "He needs a hair cut."
      "Yeah he does." Emily comes home and comes through the door. She has a huge smile on her face. Chloe comes in to. Emily was holding a small bag. It had tissue paper in it.
      "What's this?" I ask.
      "Open it." She says smiling. I give them both a puzzled look but take the tissue paper out. I put my hand inside and feel clothing. I pull it out and a small baby onsie falls and unfolds. It was pink and said 'I have the best uncle and aunt ever'.
      "It's a girl."
"It's a girl." Chloe says.
"I have a niece."
"Yeah."
"No way."
"Yes way." She hands us an updated ultrasound picture. It was the baby.
"I'm getting a niece!!" Emily squeals.
She starts dancing and laughing. She takes her coat off and Andrew wakes up.
"It's a girl." Andrew says.
"Awww man." We laugh at him. "That's okay I love her already."
"Awwww." We all day.
We hug him and Chloe leaves. She is due in May. She got her calculations wrong. So her due date is somewhere the end of May beginning of June. We just chill.
*January 25*
      "Jace, what do you want for your birthday?" Halo asks me.
      "You."
      "In what way?" She raises her eyebrow at me.
      "Both sound tempting." She laughs and shakes her head.
       "I don't know surprise me."
       "Fine. What do you want to do?"
       "I'm not sure. I was thinking about that." I say.
       "Hmm how about we go out for dinner and then come home and have cake and all that?" She asks.
       "Sounds good."
       "I don't know you are turning 18 that's pretty big."
      "Yeah but I don't want a huge party. I'm cool with just a family gathering."
      "Are you sure?"
      "Yeah I already have everything I could ever want."
      "Really."
      "Yeah."
      "So we are going with the house party and dinner?"
       "Yup."
       "Okay I will make some phone calls." She gets off the counter and grabs her phone. She goes outside to make calls. It's not real eventful but it works. I don't need anything big.
That night as I'm laying in bed, I look at Halo sleeping. I think how can I be so lucky. I am truly blessed to have what I have. I know this isn't the best I don't have my own family and I haven't graduated yet. For now though it's the best and I'm lucky.