We Are Free

Speech

*January 5th*
We are all ready to go to her speech. She has the little booklet she wrote out and printed on the school Ipads. She chose to wear a black and blue dress with leggings and flats.
    Halo did her hair. She has a smile from ear to ear. We go to the school and sit in the gym. They were on the stage. We wait for it to start. Andrew was being good and quiet. Halo let him play a game on her phone while he waited.
    Emily sits on a chair on the stage. She waits her turn. Soon it starts and I get more nervous as the line becomes shorter and shorter. Who did she write it for? My stomach is in nots and Halo has some worry in her to.
   Finally she goes up. She don't look nervous or scared. She looks calm, cool, and collected. She is proud of her speech and we all know that.
     Everything goes silent and you could hear a pin drop. She adjusts the microphone. She takes a breath and starts.
"My name is Emily Parks. I am in 2nd grade. I am here to tell you about my hero. Most think that heroes save the day. They wear capes and tights. They have side kicks or always get the girl in the end.
    The truth is not every hero does that. Mine don't. My hero's name is Jace. He is my brother. He is 18 and he works at a car shop with his fiancé. They come home everyday and take care of myself and my little brother.
    Jace gave up what was left of his childhood to do something you only see in movies. My mom died when I was 3 in a car crash my dad was in no shape to raise a family. In 9th grade my brother dropped out of school and got a job.
    His at the time friend Halo and his friend Zac already worked there. He loved working on things and solving problems. He still does. His problems don't consist of 1+A-10=B.
    His problems consist of what will be made for dinner. They consist of who needs a new winter coat and what bills need to be paid. His problems consist of being a teen parent.
    His fiancé Halo does the same but she isn't a teenager. She always says she knew what she was doing when she said yes. I believe her. The birthday before my mom died she got me a small teddy bear. I still have it.
    It sits on my dresser and watches me. Jace always tells me that our Mom is watching us where ever we are. He says she was an amazing selfless person that would give up anything to see someone happy.
    Jace, does more then most people see. He scares away the boogie man, he feeds the animals, he makes sure our homework is done. He did a lot before him and Halo moved in or they were even a couple, he did it all.
    He balanced a 5 year old and a 2 year old. He balanced work, house work, and of course my dad. It wasn't easy on him but one thing he always taught me was to never give up. It is okay to throw your hands up and it's okay to cry.
    It's okay to ask for help and it's okay to need help. It's not okay to give up. By doing this he has managed to do what seems impossible. He bought a house, is getting married, he is turning 19 next month, he put my dad away for the rest of his life, he survived.
    He made sure we did the same. He always says he is going to make my mom proud but I think he already has. I often ask him why our Mom had to die. His answer is the same every time.
    If you are in a garden what flowers do you pick? Of course you pick the most beautiful ones but don't you regret is after? Don't you wish you would have let it grow longer? I don't yet understand why God took my mom.
    I wonder if he feels guilty for doing so. I know I will see her again one day. Everything that has led to me standing on this stage just shows me that the superhero movies are wrong. Not every superhero wears a cape and sometimes mine doesn't even wear a shirt." She steps down and starts smiling. We all start clapping and I wipe a tear away. Halo hugs me and she steps down, she comes to me.
"Did you like it?"
"I loved it."!We listen to all the other kids. Then the event ends and we go home. I make them dinner and Halo does the cleaning. We get them baths and put them to bed. Halo and I talk. We start planning my party.
"Now what do you want to do for your birthday?" She asks me.
"I don't know. Do I need a party?"
"It's up to you."
"Well I have done it all so why?"
"Yeah."
"Well I was thinking?"
"Uh oh."
"No not that?"
"What?"
"I want to go to that museum. The kids will like it, it is informative and very hands on."
"We can do that."
"Okay. Then I want to do that.
"Okay you can do that." We kiss. I really liked Emily's speech today. I didn't expect her to use me but I still loved it. I wonder how long she has been working on it. I wonder many things though.
    I wonder how she came up with it and why she wanted to do it. I wonder how much she really knows and how much she really remembers. I will find out soon enough.
    Hopefully she don't know as much as I think she does. If that is the case then I have failed to do some things I wanted to do when I made it out.
*January 31*
My birthday is tomorrow and we have the wrist bands to go to the museum. Emily hasn't been herself the past couple days. She will hardly eat and she just wants to sleep. She says she is fine but I don't think so.
She says she wants to go to the museum so I give in. It's a Saturday so they don't have school. We get there the next day and put our wrist bands on.
We go to the butterfly room. Chloe brought Blake but she can't go in. She stays outside with Blake. We all go in and a butterfly lands on Emily. She giggles and it flies away. They both loved it and so did Halo. Chloe really wanted to go.
"Make Zac go again and I will watch her." I tell her.
"No need."
"Go now."
"Okay okay." They go through it and I watch Blake. Next we go to the bed of nails and Emily lays on it. I go next then Halo. Chloe didn't have the guts and Zac flinched the whole time.
We laid Zane on it and he laughed. Andrew did it but didn't like it. Next we go to aquarium. We got to pet a sting ray and cat fish. We go to a pirate ship and explore it. The kids were having so much fun.
For an hour we learn new things and see new stuff. We go to the gift shop and get something to eat. The kids got some stuffed animals. We eat and the kids play. Emily eats a couple bites and lays down. I sit next to her.
"What's wrong?" I ask her.
"I don't feel good." She says. I have her sit up and I hold her.
"How don't you feel good?"
"My tummy is upset." She starts crying and I wipe her tears. I hold her for a little bit and Chloe goes to use the restroom. Zac takes the boys and Halo watches Blake. Emily starts whimpering.
"You okay?" I ask her before I get an answer she throws up all over my hoodie. "I will take that as a no." She runs to the garbage can and finish throwing up. Halo goes to her I run to the bathroom real quick.
"What happened?" Zac asks me.
"Emily threw up."
"Sounds fun."
"Yeah."
"I got a towel in the diaper bag."
"Okay." He hands me the towel and I clean my hoodie best I can. We leave after that. We go home and they give me the presents they got me. They go home and we get Emily in some pjs.
We get her some sprite and crackers. We get her a bag and a garbage can. I go into her room. I sit on her bed and hold her.
"I'm sorry I ruined your birthday Jace." She says.
"You didn't ruin it."
"Yes I did. I threw up on you and everyone had to go home."
"That's okay we understand. You aren't feeling good. You did go though and you tried that's all that matters. You threw up on me oh well. It isn't the first time and it won't be the last. I'm not mad at you."
"Really?"
"Yeah you want to hear something funny?"
"What?"
"When you were a baby. I had to watch you. Well you didn't feel to good. I tired to feed you a bottle but you threw it up all over me when I burped you. Then after I had changed my shirt you peed on me. I had to change again. Then you threw up on me again."
She starts laughing. "Then the dog threw up and I had to deal with that." She laughs more. "See I can make you laugh."
      "Can I give you the present I made you?"
      "Yeah of course." She gets up and goes to her dresser. She looks under it and grabs a rolled up piece of paper. She hands it to me. I take the rubber band off it.
      "I made it in art class." I unroll it and it was a picture of me as a super hero flying into space. I smile. "You will always be my hero."
      "I love it. It is perfect. Thank you." I kiss her head and she smiles. She takes a drink out of her water bottle.
      "Happy birthday." She hugs me.
      "Thank you." I leave her room. Halo says she knew about the picture. I tell her what Emily said.
      "Awwww the poor thing." She frowns for effect.
      "Yeah she felt really bad."
      "You want to know why you are her hero?" Halo asks me.
      "Why?"
      "It isn't because you cook and clean. It's not because you help them when they need it. It's because you are there for them when no one else is. No matter what is going on or what you have to give up, you are there for them.
They see that. They see that you do what no other person has. You stayed there for them and gave up so much for them. They won't remember all the bad. They will look at you and see the good.
They will see you left school to support them. They will see that you went back to school and followed your dreams. They will see that you were there at the sidelines of their games and when they were sick.
They see you and that's why you are their hero."
      "You really feel that way?"
      "I don't feel that way I know it's true. I see it in their eyes."
      "Well were would I be without you guys?"
      "I'm not sure but I don't want to know. I'm happy with how it is."
      "Me to." She is right. They won't remember the bad they will remember that when all seemed lost I was there. I was the one that picked us back up. I was the one at their games and school events.
I was the one who held them when they were sick and the one who dusted them off when they fell. They don't care about how much money we have. They don't care about where we live. They don't care about any of that.
They care about who was there when no one was. They care about who stayed up until 3 AM to finish the costume. They care about who picks them up from school and asks them how their day was.
They care about who is on that sideline cheering for them holding up that home made sign. They care about who holds them when they are sick and who will never leave them.
I am their hero because I do all that. I didn't have to. I didn't have to do what I did but I did it. I gave up so much for them and they see that. I didn't leave them when it got rough.
I'm the one that is there for them. Halo is there to but they see me doing it from the start. They see Halo and Zac there if I can't be. They see so much good in the people around them that they don't see the bad.
They don't care about it either. Knowing that means knowing I am doing what I set out to do. Make sure they are happy. Make sure they are loved. They are all those things. My job is far from over but at least I know I am doing it right.