We Are Free

Zane Turns One

A few weeks go by and Zane's birthday is right around the corner. Zac is having a party at his house and we are going to. We have to get him a present yet. We have got all our stuff from Ellen and the turtles are doing great.
    Emily is very happy but she is even more excited about school. Andrew's birthday is coming up to and it's in 3 weeks. I have already started planning it. I have his wishlist and so does Halo. We are excited.
     "I just realized something." Halo says.
      "Shit I'm going to just say I totally forgot I will make it up to you." I say, I'm messing with her.
     "No, next month is August right?" She says.
     "Yeah."
     "Well we got together September 8th meaning that it's almost are one year."
      "Oh yeah."
      "What are we going to do?"
      "I don't know, I don't care at this moment. I want to get through Andrew's birthday and the kids starting school then we will worry about that."
      "Okay. I don't know I'm just ahead."
      "That's okay it's a lot going on all in one time period."
      "Yeah what are we going to get Zane?"
       "I'm not sure, I am thinking something loud and annoying." Emily and Andrew come running through the house chasing their toy cars.
      "You had to say it." Halo days rolling her eyes.
      "Yeah I did. Kids take those outside please. Halo and I are having a conversation."
      "Okay come on Andrew." Emily says.
      "Okay." They open the back door and go outside. They close the screen door but leave the main one open.
     "How about we get him a drum set." I say.
     "He is one." Halo says.
     "A mini drum set."
     "Okay."
      "I want to annoy him."
      "Why?"
      "He always gets the kids loud and annoying stuff."
      "True but two wrongs don't make a right."
      "Well I dropped out before they taught us that in school so I don't care." She starts laughing and so do I. I get a call. Zane's party is in 2 days his birthday is today but his party is in 2 days. The next day we get him a card and his drum set. It comes with a symbol, two snares, a bass, and two sticks.
     The kids help me wrap it up and we all sign the card. The kids are excited. Finally Sunday gets here we get ready to go to the party. We go to Zac's house. It was decorated with stuff for Zane and presents were on the coffee table. There was food on the counter and a monster truck cake.
     Zane was running around the house with a party hat on and Chloe was there to. Anna was there as well. We all sit down and settle in. The kids run around and play. Zane goes up to Chloe and puts his hands on her knees. He looks at her.
"Mama up." We all stare, shocked she lifts him up and puts him on her lap.
"That's the first time he has done that." She says. She looks happy. I can tell she really wants to be in his life.
"Yeah, well your always around him. You are a great mom to him to."
"Yeah, but it's okay I like it." He puts his arm around her and they look like a little family. Soon Zane gets captivated by the presents on the table and grabs one. Zac helps him open it and Zane pulls out the new coloring books and crayons.
     He smiles and squeals in delight at them. He sets them on the table and grabs another box. He opens it and smiles at that present to. Then Zac grabs the one we got him.
"This one is from uncle Jace, aunt Halo, aunt Emily, and uncle Andrew." He tears the wrapping off. He sees the drum set and taps the box. He squeals, runs up to me and hugs my legs.
"What about me?" Halo asks sticking her lip out. He hugs her to. Zac gives me the seriously look.
"You do it to me." I say.
"Daddy."
"What?" He tries to push the box to Zac but fails we all laugh at him Zac takes the box and opens it. I help him put the drum set together and we set it up Zane starts hitting it and playing with it. When he is done we all clap and he giggles.
"Oh my gosh I can't believe he is one." Zac says.
"I know it goes fast." I say to him.
"Yeah it's like he was this small fragile thing that I had no clue what to do with and now he is walking and talking and all that."
"Yup."
     "Okay let's do cake." Zac says.
     "I will help." I say.
     "I will put him in his high chair." Chloe says grabbing him. We get up and pull out the small cake that was just for Zane I put a candle in it and Zac lights it. He brings it to Zane as we sing happy birthday. He helps Zane blow the candle out and takes it out then Zane puts his whole hand in the cake. He pulls a big handful out and puts it in his mouth. We all watch Zane tear up his cake.
     He gives Zac a bite and Chloe a bite. Chloe is so envolved in Zane's life. No wonder he called her mom. Suddenly there is a nock on the door. Zac goes to answer it and I can tell he froze when he opened it. I walk over to it and put my hand on his shoulder. I look at who's at the door and it was Amy, Zane's real mom. Zac goes outside but grabs me to.
     "What are you doing here?" Zac asks her.
"Oh Zac I'm doing good thanks for asking." She says in a bitchy tone.
"I don't care, why are you here?"
"I want to see my son it's his birthday." She says.
"No he isn't your son if he was you wouldn't have dropped him off at the doorstep and left. You would have told me you were pregnant. You don't have the right to come back."
"Aren't you being selfish he deserves to get to know me." She says.
"No I'm not I haven't seen you in like 2 years. You smell like weed and look hungover. You signed away all your rights and you look like you slept in the trash you are unfit and incapable of seeing him and taking care of him."
"But-"
"No he has a mom my girlfriend is an amazing mom to him better then you could ever be and he calls her mom to."
"Can I help with expenses at least?"
"I got in under control. Chloe works and I work. We have her family and mine I have Jace and Halo. Trust me I have all the help I need, I don't need you."
"That's it you just want to kick me out."
"Yeah kinda."
"Tell me why."
"You left him on my door step saying you were unfit and look at you now you don't look any better so go get yourself together and prove you can be a good mom and then I will think about letting you see him. You done signed away all your rights so your in my house now."
"That's it." She says.
"That's it now go my sons birthday isn't going to be ruined because of you." He says. We go inside and Zac's mom asked what happened Zac tells him. She was shocked. We give the kids some cake and ice cream. We get some each and sit down we continue as nothing happened.
      I can see Zac is acting different. It was the frist time he saw her since the night he made Zane. She had the nerve to have Zane and not tell him then leave Zane on his door and leave him here. She smelled like drugs and alcohol. I don't blame Zac. Soon everyone leaves but me and Halo stay the kids play with Zane.
"Look man I think you did the right thing I would have done it to."
"It's not that. It's that she came back. I have no problem with Zane knowing his real mom but she came here like that and expected me to just hand him over."
"Yeah true but the important part is that you didn't hand him over."
"I know."
"Daddy." Zane says.
"Hi baby." He smiles and sequels his happy squeal.
"I just want to make a good life for him and what kind of life is it when your mom is in and out of your life."
"Look, you do something great for that boy every time you look at him and say Hi buddy it's me, it's daddy."
"You think so?" He asks me.
"I know so and one day Zane will grow up and make his own calls about his mom and his own judgements. He will say who was there for me Chloe or my mom."
"Yeah I just don't want him to be one of those kids though."
"Neither do any of us but what can you do."
"Yeah I know." We watch the kids play for a while then leave. We go home and I give the kids baths. When they are done with baths we feed them dinner. When dinner is done they play for a while before I send them to bed.
     Halo and I sit on the couch she sits with her legs over mine. I play with her hair.  Soon we go to bed to. A couple weeks go by once again and there is one week until Andrew's 4th birthday. I have told everyone and they all are coming.
     We are doing a bowling party the bowling alley has a ball pit with bouncy houses. There is a Velcro wall that you put the child in a suit and throw them on the wall and they stick to it. Even Zane can do it we can do it to. Andrew is excited.
"What are we getting him?" Halo asks me.
"I don't know I'm a little stressed to be honest." I say taking a big breath.
"Why?"
"Well Andrew's birthday is coming and we have to spend all week on it. Then we have to get school supplies and clothes. Then we enroll them and they start school. Then it's are one year it's just a lot going on at once plus the bills are coming out. We have money to pay them I just have to find time to do it."
"I can pay the bills then I will help with everything."
"I know, it's just stressful." She comes over and puts her hands on my bare shoulders. She starts rubbing them and puts her head next to mine I'm on my lap top ordering things for Andrew's birthday. She places a kiss on my neck then under my ear. It's been forever since we have had really any intimate contact. We have just been drained and tried.
"It will be okay." She says in my ear.
"I know." She kisses my jaw line then my neck again.
"As much as I like this I'm going to need you to stop I'm having problems already and I don't need another one."
"Okay I'm getting a popsical want one?"
"What kind?"
"The ones I made."
"Yeah I will take one."
"Okay what flavor?"
"I don't care anything but peaches."
"I can live with that." She comes back and hands me a popsicle. She sits back down on the chair closest to me and we just sit in silence. I get up and go outside to check on the kids. Then I sit back down and give Halo the computer and bills. 
     She pays the bills and I plug the laptop in to charge. The next day Zac takes the kids for the night so Halo and I can do the shopping. He picks them up at around noon. Halo and I leave shortly after. I put on some sunglasses and we get going.
     "Hey babe wanna hit up Dairy Queen and get a choco sunday before going to Toys-R-Us."
She starts laughing.
     "There is no way to make that sound cool." She says in her fits of laughter.
     "I know I thought I would try." She starts laughing again and we do go to Dairy Queen. After that we go to Toys-R-Us and get Andrew some presents. We go to Walmart soon after for things we actually need and go home. We put the stuff away. Halo and I wrap his presents and put them away.
     "Oh my gosh he is going to be 4." She says.
     "Don't remind me." I say.
     "I know but what are you going to say when he turns 10 or 13?"
     "I guess we have to cross that bridge when it comes."
     "I guess so." We finish his presents and start dinner. We eat and I do the dishes. Halo folds some laundry and sweeps the kitchen floor. Then we pop popcorn and watch a movie we cuddle on the couch and watch it. We lay there under the kids blankets and cuddle.
    When the movie is over we start getting ready for bed. She comes up to me and wraps her arms around my waist. She lays her head on my back and I turn around. We kiss and she puts her arms around my neck I lift her up.
     "Let's do one more thing today." She winks at me.
     "I agree." We go into are room and I lay her on the bed.