Crash ~Justin Bieber~

Chapter 60 ~ Possessions

(Randy's POV)

It's strange the possessions we keep.

Death can take a person but that person's possessions will always remain behind. Mourners cling to these possessions. They wrap themselves up in the memories and sentiments. These objects become all that we have left. They comfort us. They console us. We idolize them. They are proof that a life was taken and proof that someone we loved did live.

William's old jumper was proof that William felt the discomforts of cold.

William's old guitar was proof that William felt the power of passion and the love of music.

And William's lucky gold chain was proof that I wasn't going crazy and that something, somewhere, understood what I was going through.

William wore his gold chain everywhere. It had a gold coin on the end and he kissed it before and after every show he performed. He loved it.

It might sound nonsensical and strange but that gold chain was my best and only friend after William died. It understood what I saw. It understood what happened. It was there. It was hanging around his neck and it heard and saw the same things that I did.

I clung to that chain like life. I wore it to funeral and everywhere after that. I'd hold the chain in my fingers. I'd talk to it. I would ask it things. I would ask it to make sense of what we had both survived. Why us? Why did we get out and he didn't? How could some stupid gold chain beat something that Will had died fighting against?

It wasn't fair. It made no sense to me. Nothing made sense. Nothing but the chain mattered anymore.

The chain was everything to me.

But one day I stopped wearing it.

"He smashed your mothers car Justin! He can't just get away with this!"

"Ryan, leave it! He doesn't understand what he's doing!"

"He understands enough!!"

Three years ago I smashed Pattie Lyn Mallette's car windscreen in with a baseball bat. Justin saw me do it and so did Ryan. Justin forgave me but Ryan didn't. He couldn't let it go. Ryan came looking for me and Justin fought to stop him.

"Ryan! Don't! Leave him alone!"

"Justin, you can't keep making excuses for him!"

"He's hurting!"

"And so are you! So is his sister! So are his parents! But nobody else is smashing cars!"

They found me alone. They found me standing ontop of the sharp cliffs that ran alongside a dangerous Canadian lake. We were on school camp but the three of us had detoured off path.

"Randy! This is the last warning! Leave Justin and his family alone or I will..."

"No - Randy I don't want you to leave us alone! I want you to come back! Just stop fighting me and come back! I can help you11"

Justin's refusal to give up on me made Ryan Butler angrier. He didn't understand what I had lost. He didn't understand what William meant to me. Justin did. Justin got it. But his in depth understanding was a big part of the problem.

"I'm not coming back"

"Randy - he wouldn't have wanted this!"

"He's dead!"

"But I'm not! Rachel's not! Will wanted us to stick together he didn't want for us all to fall apart! Let me help you! You're my brother!"