Crash ~Justin Bieber~

Chapter 25 ~ The Only One Who Could

(Rachel's POV)

Somehow I managed to sleep after Randy's story. I dreamt of a burning car and a drowning brother. I pictured the black blood, and I heard William choke. Then I pictured Randy, alone, injured, and all but dead.

Thankfully someone woke me up.

Justin was crying inches away from me. He was trying to hide the sound but I could hear it muffling into his pillow.

Nervously, I turned. I wasn't sure what to do. Justin was still new to me and I wasn't sure what our new relationship entailed.

"Don't cry..."

With caution, I took one of his arms and put it around my waist. Then I moved in closer against his jumper. I waited a second with my heart beating fast, but then his head fell on top of mine and he slid his other arm around me, pulling me against his chest.

"It's okay..." I said, "I promise"

For a long time I traced his face. He didn't yell at me or tell me to stop. He watched me. He watched me and he cried.

"I let Will down..." Justin said eventually, "I should have made Randy talk sooner..."

"No. Don't ever think that"

"If I had known all of that before - I would have understood. I - I wouldn't have - fought with him at all..."

"You barely fought with him"

"I did sometimes... he - he saw him die and - I hit him. My friends hit him"

The word 'hit' made his chest beat three times fast.

"Justin.... You're the only person that Randy has willingly told that story too. What do you think that means?"

"That - that he trusts me?"

"Yes. And why does he trust you?

"I don't know..."

"Because you never gave up on him. That's why he trusts you. And that's why he came to you first when he was ready to apologize. You handled everything so well..."

Lying there in Justin's arms I started to think. I thought like I had never thought before. I thought about things from Justin's point of view. I thought of what the accident had done to him and I thought about the cards he had been dealt. I didn't like what I saw. I felt incredibly guilty.

"Justin, I'm sorry. I was wrong to be mad at you. I was upset that you didn't think about how William's death had hurt me. But I never really thought about what happened to you..."

It had only just occurred to me.

"You lost Will, and then you lost Randy..."

"And then I lost you,"

"Yes" I said, "And I never thought about how much that would hurt you. I lost Will, and I lost you, but you never took your anger out on me, you never said you hated me. What Randy did to you was much worse..."

Justin didn't just lose Randy, he was also made to believe that Randy despised him. That was different. That was painful.

"I forgive him for everything," he promised, "I do"

"I know you do... but... you need to forgive me too. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It was wrong for me to expect so much from you, when you were hurting so badly yourself"

Justin's thumb brushed my back telling me that he forgave me.

"I cared. Rache, I always cared about you. But I just couldn't show it..."