Crash ~Justin Bieber~

Chapter 64 ~ An Unimaginable Hurt

(Rachel's POV)

I never really thought about my first time.

I never really thought about how it would start or how it would end. A year ago I still had cabbage patch dolls on my bed. Sex was the last thing on my mind.

But if you had of asked me who my first time would be with, then my answer would have been simple.

Justin was my first for everything.

He was my first kiss, my first love, and my first real relationship.

Why should sex be any different?

Justin was the only first for me.

"Hi Rache"

"Hey Blaine"

"What's this?"

"It's for Justin" I replied, "Want to help me?"

"Yeah - sure"

I was writing happy birthday on the sand with shells.

"It must be nice to spend this birthday with Justin"

"Yeah - it's nice. Last year I wasn't allowed to wish him a happy birthday"

"And what about the year before that?"

"Umm... well that was a bad year. Randy broke Justin's nose"

"As a happy birthday present?"

"As an I hate you present"

"Oh... Good times then?"

"Yes - great times"

My relationship with Blaine was complicated. At one point in time he was my closest friend at the hotel. But weeks later I found out that he was trying to make money off of me. We never really talked about that betrayal and I had just silently chosen to forgive him.

"Do you miss Alyssa?" I asked.

"A little bit. But things are kind of getting weird with her"

"How so?"

"Umm... well Alyssa is a lot more experienced then I am. I feel like I'm holding her back instead of just running alongside her"

His problems sounded a lot like mine.

"Have you two.... Been together... like.... In that way?"

Blaine laughed, "Sex?"

I didn't even like saying the word out loud.

"Yes.... That...."

"No" he answered, "I'm not ready for that"

"But I thought you liked her"

"I do - but - I think I want to wait"

"Wait... haven't you ever... done... that thing?"

"You can say the word Rachel"

"I hate the word. It's ugly sounding"

He smiled, "It is kind of ugly sounding"

"But really - have you ever been with someone like that?"

"Nah - never - have you?"

"No..."

It surprised me that Blaine was a virgin. He was very famous and very adored. Girls threw themselves at him daily.

"When do you think you and Alyssa will do that thing?"

"Sex?"

"Stop saying it..."