Crash ~Justin Bieber~

Chapter 80 ~ Baby Steps, Part 1

(Randy's POV)

Dreams exist for a reason.

Dreams are useful tools for your mind.

Someone once told that if your mind can't understand something, it will keep dreaming about it until it makes sense. That's why some of us dream of the same things over and over again.

Our mind is just trying to understand.

"This one's breathing!"

"He's conscious?"

"He's moving,"

My mind dreamt of the car crash all the time.

"Can you hear me? Hello? Mate - talk to me. What's your name?"

I dreamt of the very end, the part where help had finally arrived but everything was starting to get colder.

Nothing about that day was blurry to me. I remembered everything right down to the smells and sounds.

"I'm going to cover your ears Randy. Okay? We're just going to lift this dashboard up so we can get your legs out. Keep wiggling your toes for me mate. I want you to focus on your breathing and forget about the drill"

I remember that the drill was deafening. It hooked into the metal and tore it into two. They call that type of drill the Jaws of Life. It can get you out fast, and it can save your life. But the drill scared me. The sounds of the crash were still ringing in my ears, and I started to cry and shake. I'd had enough.

"It's alright Randy. It's off now. Tell me, do you play ice hockey? I can see some gear in the back. What team are you on? Tell me what your coach is like? Keep talking to me Randy,"

I remember I rolled my head over to the side. I looked at William and wondered why they weren't' working on him.

"Don't look at him mate - keep your eyes on me. Drew - can we put a sheet over the body. Drew - I need you to cover the driver up!"

"His name is Will..."

"Drew - quickly. I need the body covered up right now!"

"His name is Will," I mumbled again, "Will.... That's his name,"

"Randy, I'm just going to cover your ears one more time, okay buddy?"

"Phil - The dads here,"

"Keep him away from the car!! I'm not joking around! Keep him away from the car!"

I heard more yelling and more discussion.

Then the paramedic spoke very quietly, "Keep the dad away from the car. The other son is dead..."

This dream replayed in my mind almost every night and I still struggled to understand what I was being shown.

I guess it was the moment when 'is' became 'was'.

It was the part when William's life became past tense instead of recent.

I was saying, "His name is William" for the very last time.

After that day, everything became 'was'.

He was a friend.

He was a brother.

And he was the most influential person in my life.

But to that paramedic he was just another casualty.

He didn't have a name. He didn't have a voice. He didn't have a life that could be saved or salvaged. He was simply a body, the evidence of someone who would be missed.