"Catch Me I'm Falling.."(COMPLETED)

52.Forgiveness

Bernise Kaye's Point Of View

Ayoko na dito! This is a hell! Why did mom,let me live here?

But,I'll admit it..Mali ako. Maling mali ako. Sobrang dami na ng kasalanan ko,pero ito lang ang napagdaanan ko. Mabuti na nga lang at mabait si Ellie,hindi nya na pinaalam sa public,lalo na sa Einstein.

Ayoko namang forever maging kontrabida. I know I've done a huge mistake. And that mistake would never be fixed.

I am very pathetic! Hindi ko inalam ang mga resulta ng lahat ng kagagagahan ko. This might be my regret.

Since my mom betrayed me. I-I can't say she betrayed me...kasi na-disappointed sya ng sobra.

But,since that she let the police caught me,naramdaman ko na kailangan kong pagbayaran lahat. I might be so insane..pero I'm late. It's very too late. Gusto kong humingi ng tawad sa lahat ng kasalanan ko. Pero..I can't.

"Johnson! May bisita ka." Sabi ng isang pulis.

Tumayo ako at pinalabas ng isang pulis.

Nakita ko si mama.

Naluluha at nakayuko akong lumapit sakanya. Nahihiya ako sa lahat ng mga kahihiyan na nagawa ko. She don't want me as her daughter.

"M-ma," I murmured when I'm infront of her.

"Umupo tayo."

Umupo ako sa tapat nya.

"Look at me Bernise,"

I can't look at her. Frustration. 'Yun lang ang dahilan. Tsaka baka makita nya ang mga nagtutubig kong mata.

"Please,look at your mom." She pleased? I look at her. She looks so pale. Anong nangyari sa mom ko? Sinasaktan kaya sya ni Tito?

"Mom,w-what h-happened? B-bakit ang p-payat nyo na? Did tito hurt you?"

I saw the tears escaped from her eyes.

"M-mom.."

"Your tito never hurt me,but you've hurt me." I was so shocked. Ako? I'm the reason,kaya sya ganyan?

"M-mom..I'm sorry."

"Bernise.."

"Alam kong kinamumuhian nyo ako. Alam kong ayaw nyo na akong maging anak. I disappointed you a lot. I'm sorry because I did a thing that was so miserable. I-I'm not in my control when I did that. Pero mom,pinagsisisihan ko lahat. I want to say sorry to all of my mistake to Ellie,Kiezer and to everyone that I've done a huge mistake. Especially to you mom,At first..I am so sick dahil..hindi mo ako sinubukang tulungan para hindi makulong,pero napag-isip ko..na madami akong mga kasalanan. And actually,this is not enough for the lot of mistake I've made. I-I am a mistake. Wala akong kwenta."

Tuluyan ng bumagsak ang mga luha ko.

Now I've said it.

"A-anak,'wag na 'wag mong iisipin na kinamumuhian kita. You're my only daughter. Ayokong mawala ka saakin. I am pale this time dahil walang oras na hindi ka pumasok sa isip ko,every hour I'm thinking,nakakain ka na ba? Kung..nakakatulog ka ba ng maayos? May nananakit ba sayo? O kaya..may nakakausap ka ba? I am always crying because I'm worrying about you. Palaging sinasabi ng tito mo na,magpakatatag ako. Maniwala ka o sa hindi,gusto kang tulungan ng stepbrother mo. Kahit na anong kasalanan mo na nagawa,he's still worrying. Kaya anak,kung nagsisisi ka..then let yourself be free to tell them you're sorry. At huwag mong iisiping wala kang kwenta. Since the day you're dad leave us,you're the only one who makes me strong each day come. Mahal na mahal kita. I just want you to regret. Kaya kita hinayaan dito."