Male YouTuber Imagines

Dear Dan (DAN): ©Skiller0Dani

Hey, this one is very different. It's not an Imagine but a letter. From me to my hero Dan. I love him more than words can describe, but I'll try to anyway. I'll also leave my Twitter bc some people have been messaging me for it. 

 My Twitter: skiller_dani 

ALSO THIS IS #59 GUYS WE'RE ALMOST DONE (I'm crying omg) 

Song: Everytime We Touch by Cascada 

~DaNi

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Dear Dan, 

If someone told me that someday some Internet bum would save my life, I'd probably laugh in their face. I'd probably not believe a word of it and move on with my pathetic little life. If someone told me that someday I'd fall in love with someone I'd never even met, I'd probably scoff and not pay any mind to it. I'd probably not understand how I could ever love another without ever even knowing how to love myself. But that's the most amazing thing, how I ended up falling in love with the most awkward, odd, special, British guy I'd ever seen in my whole life. To me you were simply a cute British boy with a weird haircut but I fell in love anyway. To most people this doesn't make sense because how can I love someone I'd never even met? But Dan I really feel like I know you, and I can love you in the same way you saved my life. Unknowingly, I had no choice in falling for you. I first discovered you in 7th grade (2010) but I didn't watch your videos religiously like I do now. I actually forgot about you a little until one of my friends showed me another video of yours. You didn't captivate me in the way you do now, I wasn't hooked. You were simply a hobby, or rather a pass time. Back then, you made me feel less alone, less like a freak. Now you make me feel happiness that has long since died in me. You bring out the person I used to be all the way back in 2010 before the depression, self harm, and eating disorders that would plague me in the years to come. You make me a better person. Over the years I've learned that I need you more than I ever have needed anyone. There were times about 2-3 years ago that I was dangerously suicidal. I tried to commit suicide 2 maybe 3 times during my sophomore year (10th grade) of High School. I came up with terrible lies to cover it up, which every single one of my friends saw through. But I think they believed I was doing it for attention. There was one night, on the last time I attempted suicide, where I took a bunch of different pills. I didn't take enough and ended up just throwing up all night. Right when I was going to try again, you tweeted, saying there was a new video. So I didn't try again, instead I watched your videos all night and that's when I realized that I need you more than anything. I need you to pull me out of my own darkness, I need you to make me smile. So I told myself then that I wouldn't try again, I would try to get through it. Dan I consider you my hero, you saved my life. I strongly believe that I would be dead if I never found you. I would still be cutting myself if I never found you. I would have never have found the strength to forgive someone who hurt me so deeply I never thought I'd trust her again. I would have never been strong enough to let her back into my heart without you. 

I want to thank you, for everything. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on when I feel alone. Thank you for showing me that if you can go through hard times and be okay then so can I. Thank you for giving me the strength that I don't have. Thank you for lifting me when I fall, and carrying me when it feels that I can no longer go on. Thank you for making me laugh, when sometimes I don't laugh for days. Thank you for being the sunshine on my darkest days. Thank you for helping me find my best friend again. Thank you for showing me what it is to be a good person. Thank you for helping me feel comfortable with who I am and for showing me that me being Bisexual doesn't make me broken. Thank you for helping me believe that I'm not a freak, and that I don't deserve to burn in hell. Thank you Dan. A million times, thank you. I hope you know that you deserve all the happiness in the world, and I hope that you find your happy ending. I want you to know that with all the flaws you think you have, you have always been perfect in my eyes. From the shy boy recording videos in his bedroom, to the confident man receiving award after award I will always see you as perfect and I am so proud of you. You have grown so much and you have helped me grow too. You help me get through my Anxiety (Panic) Attacks, you help me find my breath when it feels like I'm suffocating. You reassure me that everything is okay, that I'm okay, and that there is nothing wrong with me. 

Thank you for teaching me how to love myself. You are my hero. 

~Danielle Marie Carney