Male YouTuber Imagines

Stars and Street Lamps (MARK): ©Skiller0Dani

Been getting those Mark feels lately. I'll do another Dan one soon. I've been trying to get a variety of different YouTuber's in here since I have (roughly) 20 solid ones of Dan in a row. (It started out as a Dan Imagines book if you didn't know btw but I changed it to spice things up) 

ALSO most of this Imagine is the work of FICTION just btw. 

Also we're already on Imagine #55!! Over halfway through. >.< 

Song: Arms by Christina Perri & Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri 

~DaNi

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He was something I've never seen before. A whole knew experience every time I saw him. He was funky, and weird, and adorable, and lovable, and everything I've ever asked for. More importantly he was mine. Was being the key word. I wasn't nearly what he deserved. He deserved someone happier, more upbeat, less uptight, more understanding, less overbearing. I was emotionally abusive towards him and I'm not proud of that. Oh how many people would hate me if they knew I was the emotionally abusive ex-girlfriend who broke Mark's heart and is vaguely and anonymously mentioned in his videos from time to time. If I could go back and do things differently I would, but I don't think I would have the strength to change myself. I think I would go back and let him go. Before I ruined it for him. Before I started making him question himself. Before I made him stop going out, in fear of upsetting me. Before I belittled him when I got upset, and I wish it didn't take him finally leaving to destroy that monster within me. I wish I could apologize, and tell him that I'm different now. That this time I would really love him, and I would do it right. 

***

I let a sigh leave my lips as I stood in the wine section, debating on going for the fancy stuff or for the boxed stuff. I eventually coil my fingers around the neck of a glass wine bottle and move to the cashier. I look outside and see the sun well set beneath the horizon, stars dancing in the dark sky. 

"It's a clear night." The cashier remarks. 

"Yeah." I tell him, knowing that my days and nights are nothing but rain. I take my wine bottle and open it when I step onto the sidewalk, moving down the side of the alcohol store. I take a drink as I move to the street, walking along side apartment buildings. 

***

There was one night like this, sitting on my front porch. He had looked over at me, smiling as I giggled drunkenly. It was the first time I'd ever gotten drunk. I stood and moved to the front lawn, remembering how dizzy I felt, but I looked up into the sky and spun. I liked the way the stars and the street lamps seemed to spin together into one beautiful color. I felt myself tip backwards when I stopped spinning, but instead of falling to the ground I was falling into his arms. He lifted me bridal style, making me feel like a princess with the way he looked at me. I've never felt that good again.

*** 

I leaned against a bus stop sign. I didn't actually need the bus, just somewhere to stand for a moment. I took another drink from the bottle, feeling it's effect begin to wash over me as I sway a bit. I looked at the brown paper bag the wine was in, feeling a distaste for how plain the brown was. It was flat, and dull. Nothing like Mark's. His eyes during the day, were like sunshine through a glass of whiskey. Bright and deep all at once, he could look into your eyes and catch your gaze in an instant. They were captivating in every single way. I could stare into them everyday for the rest of my life, if he would let me. 

***

I ran my hand through my hair, wincing at the knots and tangles. I've always had a birds nest for hair while Mark's was soft, and smooth. I could run my fingers through it and it would never snag. I could pull it, braid it, brush it, even try to purposely mess it up and it would still be silky smooth. I remember him watching TV at my house, laying his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair and began to twist it and braid it and it never even tangled once. I was always super jealous of his hair. I still am. 

***

I slumped against the brick wall of a convenience store, having long discarded my wine bottle before I got really drunk. I was only tipsy, and unsure of where I was going for tonight. Home was always just a little too far away. I think about him. Constantly. My mind never wanders too far away from him. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks about me too but then I remember that to him, I'm only a bad memory. Why would he? I hear the little bell jingle as the sound of sneakers are heard on the sidewalk. I look up to see smooth red hair move towards a parked car. The man turns his head and I catch a short glance of his beautiful brown eyes. Before I think about it, I'm standing and moving towards him. I know I should let him go, but I can't. I love him too much. 

"M-Mark!" I call causing him to stop. A visible shudder moves down his spine as he turns around to look at me. His expression remains a combination of concerned and blank, coming out to look stunned, like he's in shock.

"Y/N." He says in his smooth voice that I used to lull me to sleep time and time again. I don't know what to do or say so I cross the street towards him. He remains still, as I approach him. We stand in front of each other, all the horrible degrading things I have said to him flooding in my mind all at once. 

"M-Mark I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything to you because you've heard me say it a thousand times before but I really mean it. I'm not the same person. I know this wont change anything and that you're happier without me but I couldn't go another day without saying it." I tell him and he stiffens, leaning back slightly. He doesn't say anything but I still remain in front of him, not willing to let him go so easily this time. 

"I'm trying to fix myself." I whisper, looking to the ground as tears well in my eyes. 

"I thought fixing all the damage I did to you would be a good start." I explain, tears now running down my cheeks. 

"I know that one apology didn't fix anything but I hope it's at least a start. Mark I know I'm asking for a lot, but let me at least be a friend. Let me try to fix everything. At least give me a chance." I plead, looking into his eyes. 

"I've given you chances before." He says in a flat tone. Not angry, or even hurt, more emotionless. 

"Fuck I know. But just take a risk and give me one more." I plead again, feeling panicked that he could say no. He looks down at me, his eyebrows furrowing as he looks away. 

"I-I just don't know. It's been almost 2 years since I've seen you Y/N." Mark says, leaning back against his car. 

"I know and I promise I'm a whole different person now. I swear." I say, taking a step towards him. 

"Mark, I love you." I tell him and his head snaps in my direction. I've known Mark since we were 18 and loved him since then. But this is the first time I've ever told him, nearly 10 years later. 

"You-what?" He asks in disbelief. 

"I love you. And I know it's too late, and that you don't love me too. But let me try." I ask, stepping closer to him. He swallows, standing straight. Mark suddenly takes out a paper and pen, scribbling something down onto it. He hands it to me and I find his number scrawled across it. 

"You can come to my house and we can talk. T-Tomorrow." He says, brushing past me and into his car. I swallow thickly, feeling joyful tears in my eyes as he pulls out of the lot. 

It's a start.