Male YouTuber Imagines

Void (ETHAN): ©Skiller0Dani

HEY. College is hard :( I'm seeing this smol bean at Mark's You're Welcome Tour in January! I'm a very happy girl. :)

Song: This Town by Niall Horan & Happier by Ed Sheeran 

Enjoy <3 

~DaNi 

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Ethan, 

How do I start this? Is there an easy way to write this kind of letter? You know what kind of letter this is, you've always been clever. I guess I should start by saying that I'm sorry, and I know those words feel empty. Maybe they're supposed to, because there is no way to fill this void that we both feel. This deep, dark, endless void that our relationship was supposed to fill, but it didn't. I felt lonely in your company, and you just felt stuck, don't tell me you didn't. I know you did, and that's okay. I picture it like this, each person on this planet has another half, and they fit together like puzzle pieces. I love you but we just don't fit together like we should. That person is still waiting for you Ethan, it's just not me. Your missing piece is out there, and so is mine. 

I love you so fucking much and that's why I'm doing this. This is for you. Love means sacrifice, right? Love means putting someone before yourself. 

So, see ya round babe. Just not anytime soon. 

~Y/N 

Ethan knew it was coming, like an oncoming storm. He waited for the blowout, but it never came. Instead was an empty apartment, and a note laid gently on his pillow. He didn't know which one was worse, but it didn't matter anymore. The outcome would be the same, and it would hurt the same. It's like a dam was put up in Ethan's brain, holding back every feeling that he didn't want to feel. It was easier to forget that she happened, than to remember that she was gone. He understood why, so he couldn't be angry. It's just that Ethan is a believer in fixing something that's broken, instead of throwing it away. 

Ethan was also a believer in keeping his upbeat personality to show everyone else that he's totally fine. It doesn't matter that he feels like he's breaking apart, he doesn't want anyone to know. 

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Mark asked Ethan for the billionth time, and Ethan only nodded his head. 

"Yeah I'm good." Ethan dismissed as Mark exited Ethan's apartment. Mark had been coming by more often to check on Ethan, thinking that it was unhealthy for Ethan to shut himself in his apartment. He was probably right, but Ethan was going to continue with the reclusive behavior until he doesn't feel dead inside anymore. He misses her, so much that he doesn't know what to do without her. Her scent is everywhere, from the countless times she sprayed her perfume in the apartment. It's odor has sunk into the walls, and into his bed sheets. It makes it so hard to sleep as he's literally enveloped in the way she smells. It's like his apartment doesn't want him to forget, and he couldn't stop his nerves from tingling when he spots the t-shirt she stole from him numerous times. He couldn't stop his stomach from erupting into butterflies when he found a little note she left for him by his computer. 

Hey baby, don't forget to take a break today. I miss you and I need to cuddle asap. I love you xx 

Ethan couldn't stop the rush of emotions he felt. He wanted to rip it to shreds, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to burn it to ashes, but instead he held it in his hands and he cried. He cried until his throat burned, and his eyes were bleary with tears. He cried until he dug his fingers into his hair and pulled so hard he felt pieces rip free. He cried until his lungs were screaming for air. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore, letting the dam in his mind come crashing down. Ethan sat against his bed, his back resting against the headboard. He sat there for a long time, and he felt even more dead than he did before. He sat there until he heard harsh knocking on his door, and even then he wanted that person to just go away. He wanted the world to go away, there was no way that he could get over this. He couldn't fix himself when his heart had been so shredded that there was hardly anything left to fix. 

"Ethan? Baby let me in please." He heard her cry from the other side of the door and he was off that bed in a minute. Ethan paused in front of the door, his fingers lingering over the handle. 

"Ethan I'm sorry. I thought it would be better if I left but I have never been so wrong. For me, this is hell. Please open the door. I love you." She begged and his heart broke. He finally swung the door open and was met by her trembling body, looking up at him. 

"I fucking missed you." He breathed as he pulled her into him then, and for the first time in a while, he felt home. He felt at ease. She laughed then, her arms wrapping around his neck. 

"I missed you more." She whispered and he smiled.

"Why did you come back?" He asked as he shut the door behind her. 

"Mark told me you were like a lost puppy." She smiled, her eyes puffy. 

"I was." Ethan confirmed and she leaned into him again, taking in his scent. The smell of his cologne was something she missed so much. 

"Don't worry, I was lost too." She murmured into his ear and he couldn't help but smile then. 

"Can you never do that again?" Ethan pleaded, holding her tightly to him. 

"Baby, I am never going to leave you again. It's you and me, you're stuck with me now." She teased, relishing in the way his body relaxed at her words. 

"I wouldn't have it any other way."