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As You Were (BOBBY): ©Skiller0Dani

This one is sad. Also I'm head over heels for Bobby Mares. He's a goof. :) 

Song: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City 

~DaNi 

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Bobby sat with his feet in the pool. It was late and he knew he should go inside, but he didn't want to. It was selfish but it was easier to be sitting out here. Everything hurt- the pain was indescribable, and nothing on the planet could come close in comparison. He's known her his whole life, but he doesn't know her anymore. She was different, too different. This kind of pain can only come from somewhere deep within your heart, its not the kind that can be cured with common medicine. It cuts right through you, and right now Bobby would much rather break every bone in his body than to feel like this- than to feel like there's no hope. Feeling helpless is something that Bobby hates more than anything. He hates not being able to help the people he cares about. She's slipping away from him and there's nothing he can do about it. Every day a little bit more of her disappears and he doesn't know what to do but hold onto the pieces of her that remain. He never thought it would come to this because he was so damned determined to take care of her on his own. He convinced himself that he could do it, that he didn't need anybody's help but he was being irrational, and he knew that. He didn't want to send her to some special care center, where she would wake up everyday without him and be taken care of by strangers. But that's what was best for her, and he didn't realize that until now. 

"Babe?" He heard her gentle voice say from behind him, he didn't bother turning around. Bobby already knew she would come sit next to him- she did. 

"Are you okay?" She asked, resting her head against his shoulder. He swallowed the build of tears swelling in his throat. 

"Yeah, just thinking." He whispered. She doesn't remember that the truck is coming in the morning to get her. She doesn't remember much anymore, the dementia eats at her memory. Some days she doesn't even remember him, those are the worst days of Bobby's life. The cause of the memory loss is unknown, and there's nothing the doctor's can do about it. So they just let it happen. 

"About what?" She asks, pressing a soft kiss to the shell of his left ear. He rolls his shoulders back, he doesn't want to tell her yet.

"You." He smiles, she can tell he's stressed. She know's its because of her and she feels bad. He's worried about her, and she would give anything to make him happy again. 

"Good things?" She asks, and he nods. It's a lie and they both know it- but they'll pretend they don't. Both of them know how it'll end for her. The dementia is causing her brain to deteriorate but no one knows where the dementia came from. Right now, it's only affecting her memory but eventually it'll affect the section of her brain that controls her heart. They both know what happens when that part of the brain begins to deteriorate. 

"I love you." She mumbles and he rests his hand over hers. 

"I love you too." And he does, it just hurts when she doesn't remember that. This is one of those rare nights that he has her back, the girl he fell in love with. He doesn't see much of her anymore as her days mostly consist of episodes of confusion and memory loss. Neither of them talk for a long time, they just sit and hold hands. While she may not know what it is, she knows that something is changing tomorrow, and that this is Bobby saying goodbye. She doesn't want to lose him, but she knows she has already. She's lost him, and he's lost her too. 

"I wish everything was different." She said suddenly, and for the first time tonight- he turned his head to look at her. 

"What?" He asked, feeling taken aback by her statement. 

"I wish I didn't have to do this." She said, sitting up. 

"Do what?" He asked, turning his body to face her. 

"Leave. That's what I'm doing tomorrow right? You're sending me away." She stated and Bobby felt a twinge of guilt. 

"They'll help you. I can't." He says and she rolls her eyes. 

"I don't want them. I want you." She snaps, pulling her knees to her chest. 

"Baby-" He began but she stood. 

"No Bobby, nothing you will say can make this better!" She yelled, moving inside the house. Bobby shot up and followed her in an instant, he doesn't feel comfortable letting her wander the house by herself. She could become confused or hysterical and hurt herself. 

"Y/N most days you don't even remember who I am or where you are. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to take care of you." Bobby says quietly and she stops, resting against the island. 

"I know, but I'm me right now. I know you and I know where I am. I want to stay, baby please." She pleaded, looking up to meet his gaze. He swallowed and planted his hands flat on the counter in front of him. She wound her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. 

"I can't. I'm sorry. I'll visit you as often as I can." Bobby spoke, breaking away from her. She felt tears trickle down her cheeks and Bobby knew she was crying when he heard her quiet sobs from halfway up the stairs. But he kept walking. 

It was when he was dead asleep that Y/N reached for her packed bag at the base of the bed. She knows this isn't a good idea but he has to know she's serious. She is not going to some care center. She slung her bag over her shoulder as she checked her phone, which had multiple alarms set to remind her to check her phone. She doesn't want to wander LA alone and confused. She dropped her bag to the floor before she leaned down to gently press her lips against his for the last time. 

"I love you." She whispered before she took her bag and left through the front door. 

When Bobby woke the next morning, he knew she was gone.