Male YouTuber Imagines

Broken, (KIAN): ©Skiller0Dani

do you ever feel inferior? bc I'm afraid that if she starts writing, then who would read my stuff anymore? i can't fail at my dream, it would destroy me. 

just something on my mind. also i'm on a kian streak again. he makes my lil heart sing. 

Song: Say Something by A Great Big World (without Christina Augilera) 

~DaNi

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Kian sits by the window, trying desperately to think of something to say. It had to be something good, the title of the video was pretty self explanatory. He swallowed the lump in his throat, not actually believing that he has to make this video. He never thought he would have to, he didn't think this day would come. 

"Hey guys," He starts in a low voice, hearing it remain steady and unwavering just as he'd planned. His anxiety was pulsating through him like a beating drum and he wanted to try to remain as casual as he could. He knew this wouldn't only hurt him, but it would hurt his viewers too. He had to be gentle, and he had to show them he was okay. Even if okay was far from the truth. They didn't need to know he felt like he was dying inside. They needed him to be strong. 

"Something has...changed...in my life recently." He explained, being careful with his choice of words. He swallowed, feeling the rush of emotions up his throat, causing it to close. He looked up to the ceiling, trying to blink away the stinging behind his eyes. He wanted to will them away, but a few tears managed to slip out of his left eye, he'd need to edit this part out. He took a deep breath and looked back into the lens of the camera, letting out a steady sigh. 

"Me and Y/N have...split up." He says, dropping the bomb after too much silence. 

"We're still friends so don't worry," He tells them, but he couldn't tell them that she just left. Y/N took her things while he was on a trip and ghosted* him. 

| *ghosted: verb. present tense: ghost
when someone you know or love suddenly disappears with no trace, and leaves no explanation, when you had previously believed that they truly cared about you. | 

It still stung in his heart, having been with her for 5 years he couldn't understand why she would do this to him. 

"It's just that...we aren't the same people anymore." He says, unsure of how to explain this without painting Y/N in a bad light. He bites his lip, Kian is a bad liar when he's in pain and he knows that his viewers are going to see right through him. 

"Look...guys...honestly, I don't know where Y/N is. I got home from tour, and she was just...gone. When I didn't hear from her, I just assumed that, like, it was over." He began, feeling the swell of sorrow in his throat, making it hard to breathe. 

"I hope that...wherever she is...that she's okay. I hope that she finds whatever it is she couldn't have with me." He continues, not knowing what else to say at this point. He wasn't about to go on and say how much this is tearing him apart. 

"Not a joyful video, or week, or month for me and I'm sorry. Give me some time, I'll be back to my old self soon enough. Until I'm feeling better, I'm taking a hiatus from everything. YouTube, social media, even texting. I'm sorry guys, please don't worry about me I'll see you again soon enough." He closes, ending the video with a weak smile. He wasn't even going to edit this video, there was barely any footage to edit. He didn't want to have to re-watch it anyway. He turns the camera off and stands, tugging his shirt over his head and sinks into his bed. He feels too dead to move, yet too alive to die. So he laid in the bed, with his eyes tearing up, and the air becoming harder to breathe. 

Jc stands outside Kian's room, worriedly peering in. He steps in, knowing Kian is awake, he still doesn't manage to draw Kian's attention. 

"I'll upload it to your channel." Jc informs him and he hears a barely audible thank you come from Kian. He turns out of the room and down the hallway to his own room. It's really hard to see Kian like this, when Kian is always the excitable one. Always the one to be loud, and laughing, and ready to do something. The apartment was never quiet when Kian was home, but now it was silent and Jc hated it. He hated that Kian wasn't yelling about something, or laughing too loudly. He hated that Kian felt dead, and acted dead. Jc wanted Kian to come back to life again. It had been weeks since they knew Y/N was gone, and each day Kian got worse. Jc felt helpless to Kian's pain, what could he do to ease it? Fucking nothing and that itself was painful for Jc to endure. So Jc did the only thing he could in a situation like this, he uploaded the video to Kian's main channel, as he promised. When he was finished, he stood and moved down to Kian's room. Jc entered without knocking to see Kian lying in the same position, his eyes glassy and open. Jc pulled a chair to the side of the bed and faced Kian, with a small smile. 

"What are you doing?" Kian mumbled and Jc looked down at him. 

"I'm not leaving you alone." He answers, much to Kian's confusion. 

"Why?" He asks, sitting up in bed a little bit more. 

"I can't leave you alone with your thoughts. As your best friend, it is my duty to help you get through this." Jc told him and Kian smiled. His first real, actual smile since Y/N left him. Suddenly the air got less suffocating and the tight coil in Kian's chest loosened. Kian wouldn't be healed overnight, or in 5 minutes and Jc knew this. 

But that's okay, Jc is patient. He's willing to wait and stay with Kian, however long it takes.