I Need Saving [A Bensler FanFic- Editing]

Chapter 2 [Edited]

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked as he moved to stand behind me. 

I was too focused on holding Emily, that I ignored his question. All I wanted to do was feel my baby snuggled against me and try to forget the times that Will would take my baby from me.

"Liv?" He questioned slowly. I turned to face him, tears still slipping down my cheeks.

"What did you say?" I asked, sitting Emily back down so she could finish eating.

"Did Will take her before?" He asked, and I swallowed hard before nodding.

"Sometimes I'd wake up after a beating... Will and Emily would be gone. I would stumble around the apartment and try to find them, but never did. They'd come home later, but the damage was done," I sniffled, my hand slowly moving through Emily's unruly curls.

Elliot stepped forward and gently touched my arm, but I shook his hand away and walked back to my room. Elliot watched as I cleaned up the mess I made just moments before.

"Where is he, Olivia?" Elliot asked. I tossed the pillows back onto the bed before turning to face my friend.

"If I know Will, he's probably looking for us or sleeping with some woman who doesn't know what she's getting herself into," I replied with a sigh. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I looked down at the healed scars on my hands. Elliot settled beside him, his hand finding the small of my back.

"What are you thinking about?" Elliot asked quietly.

"Everything, El. Like how he was disgusted about what pregnancy did to my body," I whispered, as Elliot pulled me closer.

"In general or-"

"He hated when I gained weight, was hormonal, and that we had to pay hospital bills after I had Emily. He hated to spend money on me... He hated everything about me," I interrupted. Elliot took a few moments to process what I said, before reaching out and grabbing my hand. 

"What happened during your pregnancy was completely normal. You know how mean Kathy used to get when pregnant... Will doesn't deserve Emily, this baby, and you," Elliot breathed. I nodded slowly as I leaned into him, my head resting heavily on his toned shoulder.

"Elliot, how am I supposed to do this? Being a single mother to two babies and trying to work?"

"Do you plan on coming back to work?" Elliot asked, his voice holding excitement. He wanted to be my partner again, even if I knew that detective work may not be for me anymore.

"I don't know. I need to focus on Emily," I replied.

"You won't be alone, Liv. I'll help out with Em and I'm sure the kids will help as well. You'll get tons of free babysitting," Elliot smiled, but I shook my head as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

"I can't impose on any of you!" I exclaimed as I got the urge to pack up and find another place. Where I could start over completely. Where no one knew me, and I could be free.

"You aren't imposing! You are my best friend. Partner. Please let me help you." 

With those words I collapsed into a heap on the floor, sobbing. This was too much. Will made it clear I didn't deserve to be loved, cared for, or protected. I deserved to be killed and beaten like the pile of shit I am.

Elliot settled beside me, tugging me onto his lap as I sobbed.

"You know I won't give up on you. Just stay here, and I'll help out in every way. All I want from you is to see you never cry again, because, Benson, it kills me to see you cry."

---

Elliot requested the rest of the week off to get me settled in his apartment. I was having panic attacks many times a day, and he didn't want to leave me alone to fend for myself. On Friday, Elliot picked his kids up and took them to a movie so they'd have some private time to learn about my situation and process it. He tried to explain my triggers so noises wouldn't be made or things said that could trigger me. When Elliot got back, I was busy changing Emily's diaper and trying to avoid seeing his children.