I Need Saving [A Bensler FanFic- Editing]

Chapter 39

"Nick, have you heard from Elliot?" I asked as soon as Nick picked up his phone.

"No. Why?" he asked.

"I haven't heard from him in a week. I'm guessing he's with Kathy and the kids, but I'm kinda freaking out." I replied.

"Alright, well, I can drive over there and check it out." he replied, and I swallowed hard.

"Do you think that I could drop the kids off for a few hours?" I asked.

"Of course. We will see you soon." He replied.

---

I drove over to Amanda and Nick's apartment and dropped the kids off before driving over to Queens. I parked in front of Kathy's house. I walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

"Hello?" Elliot answered, and my stomach dropped. Elliot was only in his boxers, and my mind went straight to what I have been fearing the most.

"Elliot..." I trailed off, and he sighed.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned.

"I haven't heard from you in a week, El. The kids miss you and so do I." I replied.

"Kathy needs me." He stated coldly.

"I know, but Elliot, we need you too. The kids are destroyed. They just lost their brother, and now their father is drifting away." I breathed.

"It wasn't even their real brother, Liv." He spat, and I frowned.

"If you want to get back together with her, just tell me." I whimpered.

"She needs me. We just lost our son."

"And I'm losing my husband." I breathed. I turned on my heel before heading out towards our car.

"Stop being so selfish!" He screamed. This is the side of Elliot I hate. He always blamed my feelings on me, and never on what people do to make me feel this way. He always ended up causing these feelings though.

"It would be nice if I could feel like my husband actually loved and cared for me even in the worst of times. Have fun playing house with your ex. Just don't knock her up this time."

---

Elliot and I didn't have contact after that. I went along with raising the kids, and told them that Elliot just needed time to himself.

I either worked or was at home with the kids, and I did that over and over again. It was about two months later when Elliot actually decided to show up again. I was feeding a now five month old Gabe when the door bell rang.

"Coming!" I called as I sat the spoon aside and went to the door. I opened the door and stared at Elliot. 

"What are you doing here?" I questioned quietly.

"I wanted to see you and the kids." He replied, and I swallowed hard.

"The kids are at school. Gabe is the only one home." I stated.

"Where is Rena?" he questioned.

"Preschool. You missed her third birthday." I replied. He frowned and ran his hand over his short cut hair.

"I'm sorry." he replied, and I shrugged.

"We are pretty used to the fact you aren't around anymore." I stated.

"Liv." he frowned.

"Don't. I have to go finishing feeding Gabe. Why don't you go back to your wife." I stated, then laughed bitterly.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm your wife, but it just doesn't seem like you think I am anymore." I hissed. Elliot frowned again.

"Liv, please. Let me explain."

"Explain what?" I replied.

"We just need to talk." He sighed. I heard gurgling from the kitchen, and I knew that Gabe was getting impatient.

"Alright. But do it as I feed Gabe."

We walked inside and to the kitchen. Elliot's eyes lit up when he saw our son.

"He's gotten so big. I can't believe he is sitting up and eating food like that." Elliot exclaimed, as he ran his hand over the curly mop of dark brown hair.

"Yeah. Well a lot of stuff has happened." I replied. 

"I'm sorry. Kathy and I needed each other." he stated.

"Yeah, well it seems like she was the only one you saw that needed you." I sighed. He nodded slowly.

"I've made some mistakes, Liv." He spoke, and I nodded slowly.

"I bet you have." I stated.

"Please forgive me?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"What are you apologizing for? Being absent or sleeping with your ex?" I questioned, and he didn't deny it.

"I didn't mean to. I swear."

"What did you just trip and end up fucking her?" I said bitterly.

"Liv, there is more to it."

"Like what?" I sighed.

"We were drunk and we wanted to fill the void that was left in both of us when Dickie died."

"If you wanted to fill the void, then why are you here?" I asked.

"Because I love you, Liv. I want to be with you." He replied, squeezing my shoulder. I shrugged his hand off and stood and grabbed a wash clothe so I could clean up Gabe.

"If you wanted to be with me, you wouldn't have slept with Kathy. Is she going to show up in a few weeks and tell you she's pregnant?" I asked. He swallowed hard and tears stung my eyes.

"Great." I breathed. Elliot frowned as I picked up Gabe and took him to the bathroom for a bath instead.

"I swear, I didn't want it to happen." he mumbled.

"Elliot, Eli is 14.Now she's going to need a lot of help taking care of the baby." I breathed.

"I know, but I don't want another baby with her." He stated. I turned around and slapped him with my free hand.

"Then why did you sleep with her?" I screamed. 

He just looked at me, his eyes searching my face. How could he do this to me? How could he sleep with Kathy and hurt me? 

"Liv, I was selfish, and I'm sorry. I want to try and be a family again. For the sake of our kids. I wasn't here for Rena to turn 3 and I didn't even remember how old Gabe was. Please, give me another chance." He breathed, and I swallowed hard.

"Kathy needs you. She has Eli, but he isn't going to be much help. I'm not keeping secrets from the kids anymore. You need to tell them what is happening, because they were thinking that you were taking time to think, but instead you were cheating on me." I replied coldly.

"Give me another chance Liv. Please." He begged. My heart told me to let him come home, to let us be a family again, but my brain told me the complete opposite. I had been hurt, cheated on. He had slept with Kathy, one of the woman I thought I could trust since she helped me when Elliot was in jail. But now he was having another baby with her, and the family we had together had been a thought in the back of his head.

"Elliot, get your stuff around. I want you out after the kids go to bed."

Hey guys, again I have the dark and twisties. So I don't really plan on ending the book nor their marriage. I guess this is just a bump in the road. Thanks for reading. Please vote/comment/share. I'll see you on the next update!