I Need Saving [A Bensler FanFic- Editing]

Chapter 13 : The Trial [Edited]

I woke up early on the day of the trial and promptly got sick. I was having a hard time figuring out if it was morning sickness or the fact I'd have to face Ike once again. Elliot heard me getting sick and slowly entered the bathroom to check on me.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked quietly. I turned slowly to look at him before nodding slowly.

"Yeah, just peachy," I replied sarcastically. He frowned deeply as he walked over and filled a small glass with water before passing it to me. I took a sip before flushing the toilet and standing. 

"Nerves or the baby?" Elliot asked as I sat the cup down before grabbing my toothbrush.

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm going to take a shower," I replied quickly. Elliot grabbed my waist before I could leave the bathroom and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. 

"Do you want me to join you in the shower?" Elliot asked, and I slowly shook my head.

"I'm not comfortable with that yet, El," I replied softly.

"Liv, it's okay. I love you no matter what," Elliot spoke before tugging me closer. He kissed my forehead again before looking into my eyes. Tears burned my eyes as I looked down so I didn't see how understanding he looked. I felt so bad about shutting him down so often, but I was too scared to take any steps towards being intimate.

"Elliot, can you let me go?" I begged as I tried to pull away. Elliot kept his hands on my waist and rested his forehead against mine.

"I know you are worried that I won't like what I see, but I've seen you at your worst. What's the difference now?" Elliot asked.

"I have scars, bruises, and burns. Things are worse than they were after Will. I've changed so much in the several weeks and I don't want you to remember me like this. I want to heal before you see me more," I replied before placing my hands against Elliot's chest and pushing away from him.

"Liv, it's okay! I don't care what you look like!" Elliot exclaimed.

I brushed tears from my cheeks as I rushed away from my husband. Elliot followed closely as we left our bedroom.

"Liv, stop!" Elliot exclaimed, as he grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. He spun me to look at him as tears continued down my cheeks.

"Ike, let me go," I whispered, my voice shaking.

"What?" Elliot asked, confusion masking his expression. I didn't see Elliot in front of me.

I saw Ike standing in my living room, the usual sick smile on his lips as he looked at me. I felt his fingers dig into my arms and he started to shake my body.

"Let me go!" I screamed as the shaking got worse. At one point, a light smack on my cheek awoke me from the nightmare I had while still awake. I sank to the ground as sobs shook my body.

"It's okay, Liv. Ike isn't here with us," Elliot cooed, as he pulled me onto his lap and rocked our bodies back and forth.

"What's wrong with Mommy?" Emily whispered as she walked out of her bedroom. I buried my face in Elliot's shoulder so my daughter wouldn't see me crying.

"Em, go back to your room," Elliot breathed, but Emily was stubborn and approached us instead.

"Mommy?" Emily questioned.

"Emily, please go back to your room. We don't want you to see Mommy like this," Elliot replied more sternly. She leaned close and quickly kissed my hair before padding back to her room. Before shutting her door, she turned back to look at us.

"I love you, Mommy."

---

It took me a while to get around that morning. Elliot and I arrived at the courthouse early and waited outside our assigned room until the crew arrived. I sat on a bench and watched as Cragen, Munch, and Fin approached us with a blonde woman and a dark-haired man. It took me a moment to recognize the woman, but I was so excited when I remembered who she was.

"Amanda," I whispered, as I wrapped my arms around her tightly. She gave me a tight squeeze as I tried to stay composed.

"It is so good to see you, Liv," Amanda whispered, as we leaned apart.

"How do you two know each other?" Fin asked as the men stood around us. 

"I lived in Atlanta for a while with Will, but we moved after I found out about Emily," I replied, as Amanda gently squeezed my arm.

"We worked at the same precinct and got close. I haven't seen her since she left, and I was so worried," Amanda replied, as she frowned softly.

"There will be plenty of time for you two to catch up. Detective Rollins and Detective Nick Amaro are our new detectives," Cragen replied. He looked towards the door as it opened slowly.

"We need to get in there," Elliot frowned, as he grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly. I took a shaky breath before allowing Elliot to lead me into the courtroom. We sat down together as Ike entered the room with his attorney. He saw me and gave me a large smile, causing my skin to crawl and my stomach to cramp.

"I can't," I whimpered, before rushing from the room.

---

"There you are," Elliot spoke, as he found me outside of the courthouse. I was trying to breathe as deeply as possible to ease my nausea.

"Every time he looks at me... I can still feel his hands on me. I can feel the pain of the metal hangers burning me and every time he raped me," I whimpered.

"Liv, he won't be able to hurt you again," Elliot spoke.

"Do you think he'll go to jail?"

"Casey is good, and she'll send him to jail. I know it," Elliot replied as he gently caressed my cheek.