I Need Saving [A Bensler FanFic- Editing]

Chapter 43

I walked down the halls of the jail, as Barba, our new ADA, walked next to me. The guard stopped us and pointed.

"I know that you were supposed to speak to him before, but he admitted, so we just booked him and put him in there." He spoke, and I nodded slowly.

"Alright, while, depending on what happens, be prepared to let him go." I replied.

Barba and I stood next to each other, waiting quietly. He wanted a sign from me, but I was extremely nervous to face him, especially since I haven't seen him since the day the divorce was final.

"Olivia, are we going in?" He questioned, and I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I just need to get up the courage." I sighed.

"What's the story?" he asked, and I bit my lip.

"No one told you?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No."

"Well, Elliot is my ex husband." I breathed, only giving him the most information needed for this time.

"Oh." he spoke, and I nodded. I sighed and had the guard open the door. Elliot looked up, and for a moment, he seemed unsure of who I was, but then he figured it out.

"Liv." He breathed.

---

I didn't last long in the room. I asked my questions and left, wanting to be as far away from Elliot as possible. Once I got my phone, I saw that Ed had been blowing it up with messages. I went outside, not even waiting for Barba, and I read through them.

Hey, we need to talk.

You are too close to this case.

Olivia, we need to speak, now.

I swear to god, Olivia Benson, if you are with him.

Fuck it. I'm going to your precinct so we can talk.

Where are you?

Olivia?

I gave out a sigh and gave up on trying to be calm through this. 

---

"You can't just take me off the case!" I exclaimed.

"You are his ex, Liv! You don't have a clear head!" Ed replied back.

"Don't bring up my past, Ed Tucker!" I spat, and he ran his hand through his hair.

"Liv, I'm not trying to stir up trouble, I just don't want the rest of my crew to get involved, and cause you your job." He sighed.

"What?" I questioned, as I looked at him with wide eyes.

"This can cause you to lose your job, Olivia."

"How?" I whimpered.

"Your judgement might be fogged because you have history with him." Ed replied, and tears grew in my eyes.

"So if I don't take myself off this case, I'm getting taken off the squad?" I mumbled, and he nodded.

"Yes."

I turned and walked over to the window behind my desk. I looked out at the city, and swallowed hard.

"I'm not going off the case, Ed. If I got too involved, than you can take me off, but I won't." I stated, angrily.

"Liv-" He started, and I turned to look at him.

"Ed, back off. I need to get home to the kids."I breathed. He nodded slowly, and stepped forward. He tried to pull me into a hug, but I stepped back.

"Don't."

---

I sat with a glass of wine in my hand as I thought about everything that was happening. How could Elliot change so much that he would rape Kathy?

"Mom." Emily's voice said, pulling me out of my daze.

"Hey sweetie. What are you doing up?" I questioned.

"I heard you get home awhile ago." She stated. I nodded slowly and sighed.

"Sorry for waking you. How was school?" I asked, and she walked over and sat down next to me.

"It was okay. Why are you so late?" She asked.

"We got a new case today, and it's a hard one." I replied quietly.

"Oh?" She questioned, and I had to think about telling her that her father was the reason that the case was so hard.

"Mom?" She questioned, since I had been quiet for so long.

"Em, this case is hitting close to home." I spoke.

"How?" She asked, and I let out a forced laugh.

"Still as curious as when you were younger." I smiled, and she shrugged.

"Mom, I won't tell anyone." She replied.

"It's your father. He got arrested, and the crime he committed caused the case to be transferred to SVU." I replied slowly.

"Elliot?" She breathed, and I frowned.

"Yes. I know you don't call him Dad anymore or really think of him as your father, but he was the person who you called Daddy for many years. That's why I didn't want to bring it up." I sighed.

"Mom, he raped Kathy, didn't he?" She breathed, and tears started to stream down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

---

Emily broke shortly after the tears had started down my cheeks. I held her as she sobbed, and she cried herself to sleep in my arms. This was the first time in awhile that my daughter had showed any emotion since the divorce. She had been so quiet and when she wasn't she always did the opposite of what I said. I hated myself for letting the divorce hit her so hard.

I stayed awake the whole night, waiting for the other kids to wake up, and to make sure if Emily awoke and needed me, I was there for her.

She started to stir at about 6 that morning, and she yawned before grabbing my arm and pulling it tighter around her. She realized what she did, and woke up.

"What time is it?" She questioned, and I yawned.

"About 6. It's Saturday though, so you can go back to sleep." I replied, starting to remove my arm from around her, but she kept it in place.

"Don't move, Mom." She replied, and I swallowed hard.

"Alright, I won't move. I promise." I breathed. She stayed awake, but refused to let me move at all. After awhile I spoke.

"Emily, I'm sorry." I breathed.

"For what?"She replied.

"For allowing the divorce to get messy, and for causing you and your siblings so much pain." I replied slowly.

"It wasn't your fault that Dad's a fucking dick." She replied, and I decided to not scold her on the swearing.

"Emily, I wasn't the wife I should have been. It was not all his fault." I stated, and she shook her head.

"You are an amazing mother, and I'm sorry I haven't really told you that I love you, or that you are the strongest person I know." She breathed, causing me to cry again.

"I love you too, Em."

Hey guys! Thanks for reading. Please vote/comment/share. Comments are very welcome because I really need help to decide what to do next. See ya soon!