I Need Saving [A Bensler FanFic- Editing]

Chapter 40

"He did what?" Amanda asked as we sat next to each other at my island.

"He knocked up Kathy again." I sighed. I grabbed my cup and took a long drink of wine.

"That bastard." She frowned, and I sighed.

"I should've known." I replied.

"Liv, what are you going to do?" She questioned.

"I don't know. My heart is telling me to let him come back and we can work it out, but my brain is telling me to divorce his ass." I sighed.

"Maybe it would be for the best if you got a divorce." She breathed, and I nodded slowly.

"I'm just scared that there is no one out there for me if I end this. I'm only 39, but it seems like the best I could do was El." I groaned.

"No. Liv, someone is out there for you." Amanda replied, and I ran my finger over the rim of my wine glass.

"I still love him, Amanda."

"Is it the husband and wife love, or the friend love?" She asked.

"I don't even know anymore."

---

I sat quietly in the diner that Elliot and I used to go to all the time. I kept looking at the time on my phone, and waiting impatiently for Elliot to arrive. When he did, he looked just as anxious as I was.

"Hey." I breathed, and he nodded.

"Hey Liv. Um, so what's up?" He asked, as he sat down across from me.

"Elliot, lets drop the niceties." I breathed.

"Oh. So then what?" he questioned.

"I think we need to get a divorce." I replied quietly.

"Liv, can we discuss this?" he questioned.

"No, we cannot. Elliot, you cheated on me and it is pretty bad, but then add the fact it is your ex and to make it even worse she's pregnant." I said coldly.

"Babe, please." He frowned.

"Elliot, I want a divorce. I want to be able to move on. Yes we will have to be involved because we have children together, but nothing more." I sighed.

"God damn it Liv! Give me another chance!" He cried before slamming his fist against the table. I felt my face turn red, and tears sprung to my eyes.

"Maybe you should've thought about wanting to be with me before you fucked Kathy." I said quietly before standing up and leaving, while everyone watched.

I got into my vehicle and hung my head as I sobbed. Why did the love I have for him have to make it so damn hard to leave him?

---

I slowly felt myself become less and less sure about the divorce. I wanted Elliot back so badly, but I knew it wasn't the right choice. When my thoughts haunted me, I turned to booze to try and numb the pain, but once the buzz wore off, I wanted Elliot back even more.

"Amanda, I don't know what to do." I groaned as I flopped down on my bed, and my phone to my ear.

"Liv, do you still love him?" Amanda asked and I sighed.

"Yes, very much, but he hurt me so much." I breathed.

"What about counseling?" She asked.

"Maybe, I just don't know if he'll want to. What do you think?" I asked.

"I think that if you really love him, just give him one last chance." She spoke quietly. I bit my lip and ran my free hand through my hair.

"Do you think you could watch the kids tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think we can. Have fun."

---

I called Elliot and asked if we could talk, and he seemed more than eager to come over. We sat and quietly drank beer while trying to gather enough courage to speak.

"How are you and Kathy?" I asked and he groaned.

"We aren't anything, so." he replied.

"Oh, sorry. Um, how is she?" I asked.

"Having pretty bad morning sickness, but she's fine." Elliot replied, and I ran my hand through my hair.

"Have you gotten a lawyer yet?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No. Have you?" He asked.

"No, I haven't either." I breathed. We let the silence sit between us before he spoke.

"Do you want to give us another try?" He whispered.

"Elliot, I was actually kinda thinking about that." I breathed. He looked at me with hope in his eyes, and he smiled.

"So, where will this start?" he questioned.

"If you move back in, I don't want to share a room yet." I breathed, and he nodded quickly.

"Okay, um, can I do one thing?" He asked, and I nodded slowly. He leaned in and let our lips touch for a moment. It felt so good to kiss him again.

Our lips parted and he placed his forehead to mine, and our breaths mingled.

"I've missed you so much." I whimpered. He pulled me into his arms and held me close as I breathed in his scent.

"I've missed you too, Liv. I never wanna hurt you again." He breathed. I looked up and kissed him again, which led to more intense activities.

---

I laid with my head on his chest as he rubbed my back. I didn't even care at this moment, I only wanted to be with him.

"Elliot, I just threw everything out the window." I breathed.

"Sorry?" he chuckled, and I looked up and smiled at him.

"If you dare hurt me again, you will go home without a penis." I replied. He cringed and placed a kiss to the tip of my nose.

"I won't. I promise that if I ever hurt you again, I'll end it right then and there." He replied. I laid my head back down and listened to his heart beat.

"I just don't want to get the kid's hopes up. They were so heart broken when they found out that Kathy was pregnant." I sighed.

"We won't. This is gonna be the end of all heart breaks." He spoke, and I nodded but my mind wandered off.

I have been hurt several times before. I've been raped, beaten, and cheated on. I was almost killed by my ex, and I was kidnapped by some freak. Elliot says he isn't gonna hurt me again, but I can't help but feeling that everyone hurts me in the end. I was hoping that Elliot was never going to be one of those people, but I was mistaken.

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