I Need Saving [A Bensler FanFic- Editing]

Chapter 35

I stayed with Nick until he woke up, and was completely hung over. He looked at me and winced at the late afternoon light shining through the window. I stood and closed the blinds before he finally spoke.

"You stayed?" he spoke quietly, and I nodded.

"Yeah, I didn't want to risk you dying." I replied, and he sighed.

"I need something to drink." he sighed, and I nodded and went and got some water for him. He took the cup and took a drink before sitting it down.

"I'll be fine." he breathed.

"No. You won't." I replied and he frowned.

"Liv, you need to get home." He replied, and I swallowed hard.

"Nick. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She's gonna need someone. Being pregnant is hard enough, let alone when you don't have anyone to help." I spoke, and he ran his hand through his hair.

"She deserves so much better then me." He replied.

"I really think she cares about you more than just a partner." I replied, and he nodded slowly.

"I'll try. Thanks." He spoke, and I gave him a gentle smile.

"Good. Now I'm going home, and I don't plan on coming in tomorrow, I need a day off." I laughed and he chuckled.

"Alright. Have a good day."

---

Amanda had a harder pregnancy than expected. She almost lost her baby, but thanks to the squad's quick acting, she made it to the hospital and get cleared, but only to be on bed rest. Everyday after work, I went by to check on her, making sure she was doing okay, and bringing food because even though she was home all day, she refused to cook.

"How ya doing?" I asked as we unpacked the Chinese food in her kitchen.

"Tired and annoyed. You?" She replied, and I shrugged.

"I'm okay. It's hard to keep up with everything, since you're gone, and since I'm on desk duty for the next month before I go on leave." I replied and she nodded slowly.

"Oh! Nick took me to my appoint during his lunch break. It's a girl." She smiled, and a large smile grew over my face.

"That's great! Whatcha gonna name her?" I asked, and Amanda took a plate and went into the living room, and I followed, deciding to stay for a little bit before heading home.

"Jesse. I really like that name, and when it comes to a middle name, I have no idea." She laughed, and I nodded.

"Yeah, while at least you know the gender. Elliot doesn't want to know, so then I can't know." i replied, and Amanda laughed again.

"Not surprised. He was sorta upset when you found out Serena's gender, since he wanted to be surprised." Amanda replied, and I nodded.

"I kinda think it's a boy, though." I smiled, and Amanda nodded.

"The male gender will still be outranked." She laughed and I nodded.

"Well, I should get going. I'm tired and I have to help Emily with her homework." I replied, and Amanda nodded. I walked to the door, but she stopped me.

"Um, Liv, before you go, I was wondering if you and Elliot would be Jesse's god parents?" Amanda asked, and I turned around and smiled.

"Of course. We'd love too."

She smiled happily at my response, and we said our goodbye and I headed home.

---

Elliot and the kids were finishing up dinner when I arrived. I went into the dinning room and walked over to Elliot and kissed him before sitting down at my spot.

"How's Amanda?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"She's doing alright. Getting tired of being at home though." I replied and he nodded.

"So, are you starting leave soon?" Elliot questioned, and I shrugged.

"I don't know." I stated plainly.

"You are almost 8 months pregnant. Come on." He replied, a little bit of anger in his voice. I swallowed hard and looked at the kids.

"How was school?" I asked, and Emily and Noah stayed quiet, and I looked at Elliot, who's face was red. I swallowed hard.

"Em, why don't you take Noah and Rena out to the living room." I breathed, and she nodded, and everyone left, and Elliot and I sat in the kitchen in silence.

"Why are you so angry?" I asked, and he looked at me and frowned.

"I know you want to continue to work till the baby comes, but you should be here! Getting the room around, resting, nesting for god's sake!" He replied, and I swallowed hard once again.

"Elliot, I don't want to do that yet. With this pregnancy, I'm scared." I replied, and his expression softened.

"What?" He asked, and I shifted in my seat.

"What if when this baby is born, I don't want to go back?" I breathed, and he reached over and squeezed my hand.

"You'll want to go back, you always have." He replied quietly, and I shook my head.

"Maybe I should just quit. Maybe I need to just be a mother. We are going to have four children, and I don't want to miss them growing up anymore." I whispered, and Elliot stood and hugged my shoulders.

"I'll support you, no matter what you do." He breathed, and I nodded tearfully.

"I'm just so scared, El."

Elliot calmed me down, and then we called the kids back in and finished dinner.

---

I ended up taking leave the next week, and I knew that while I was waiting, I needed to think about what I truly wanted to do. Serena didn't go to daycare anymore, since I was home, so I got to spend a lot of more time with the little girl who was growing up WAY too quickly.

"Rena, it's time to get up." I spoke quietly as I opened her door. She was cuddled up under her blankets, and I walked over and started to left up the blankets, and then a scream came from my mouth.

"Serena!"

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