Carousel ▷ Jerrie: TMD Sequel

17 / pity party

Jade // One Year Later

I rub my eyes against the back of my hand and I watch Perrie get out of bed. The time is six am. I've known Perrie for ages now and I know her. She's never a morning person. Groggily, I sit up and I reach for my phone from the bedside table. July 17, 2017. It's Luke's birthday. With a smile, Perrie skips across the room. "Baby," I coo. "Come back to bed. It's early morning."

"I know I'm not a morning person," she giggles. "But it's Lukey's birthday. I gotta get up early." she explains. I shake my head, "Perrie, we can visit him later this afternoon." I say.

She nods, "I guess we could. But I've got a long day planned for us. It's his birthday and I wanna make sure we get through everything. Luke deserves the best day ever. You agree right?"

I sigh and watched her get ready. After Luke died she hasn't been herself. I miss her. Not long after she found out she began to get delusional. She thought Luke was alive. She called him even if he never answered, texted him even if he never replied, went to visit even if he never opened the door. I don't know what to do, to say, to help her. 

"Baby," I coo. "Please come back to bed. I know you know. Please. Stop this. Let's move on." I say softly. I want her back. I want to be able to live the rest of my years with her as a happy family. It's horrible seeing her this way. She's holding onto so much hope and she shouldn't be. 

"He's not dead, Jade. I saw him. He's alive." she tells me. I watch her strip down and change into some clothes. "Perrie, you saw his grave. He hasn't been home, he hasn't replied to your texts, he never answers your calls. Stop lying to yourself! This is reality. Wake up from your delusions!"

Perrie faces me and throws her shirt onto the bed, "You love me don't you?!" she yells. Her words send me into shock and my jaw drops. She isn't serious, right? "Perrie, what are - " she cuts me off and looks me dead in the eye. "Do.. you..love..me?" she asks again. I nod, "Baby, of course I do." I say. Unimpressed, she chuckles and hits her hand against the closet door, making it close and open again. I move backwards and I sit silently. She never releases this side of herself... 

"I know you love me. But why are you making me feel like everything is a fucking lie?! Huh? Tell me, please. I'm dying in the inside as much as you are. I don't know what's happening anymore. I can't tell my reality and my delusions apart. Help me. Save me," she cries as leans against the closet doors and sinks to the ground. "I want us to be happy. But that won't happen if you don't help me. Give me the help I need." 

I gulp, "You wanna do it?" I ask. She nods and I crawl over to the other side. I watch tears leave her face as I join her on the floor. Without a word, I sit beside her and I lean my head against her shoulder. My gaze shoots down to my hand as she intertwines her fingers with mine, "It's the only way I can leave this nightmare behind, baby. I don't want Bella to grow up with a crazy mother." Perrie explains. "But you aren't crazy." I say. She chuckles lightly, "Trust me baby girl. I am. All I need is help. And before we know it I'll be back to how we used to be. I just miss him." 

"Can you be on your own?," she asks me. "God knows how long I'll be gone for." I raise my head and I look up at her. With a smile, she faces me and stares at my eyes, then my lips, then back at my eyes, "Remember that I love you." she coos as she tucks my hair behind my ear and leans in. Our lips brush and shot of electricity shoots through the course of my veins.