The Ignored Heart's Revival

Epilogue

"Anak, Grey told me to give you this. Bago sya mawala, ibinilin nya sakin na ibigay daw 'to sayo." Iniabot sakin ni tita ang isang piraso nang papel.

Two weeks had passed before 'that' happened. Hindi ako lumalabas nang bahay hanggang ngayon. Hindi rin ako pumapasok para magtrabaho.

Nawalan ako nang gana simula nang mawala si Grey. It's like everything in me stopped.

"Sabi nya, ibigay ko daw yang note na yan kasama nang laptop nya." Tumango lang ako kay Tita. Halos araw araw akong pumupunta kina Tita para manatili sa kwarto ni Grey. Dun na rin ako minsan natutulog. Since he passed away, itinuring na rin ako nila tita na parang anak nila. Laging nandyan si mama para samin ni tita.

Tuwing vacant time nina Kara, binibisita nila ako. Minsan pa nga ay kasama nila si Brent. It seems that Kara and Brent were in good terms now. I'm happy for them but I can't be completely happy. Grey left a big space in my heart. I can't moved on. No matter how hard I try, I can't. I just can't.

Pumasok ako sa kwarto ni Grey. I stared at his pictures and then cried.

Ganito lang palagi ang ginagawa ko. Walang araw ang lumilipas na hindi ko sya iniiyakan.

I opened his laptop. I stared at the note that tita gave me earlier.

Elle0310. It was my name and my birthday.

Itinype ko ang nakasulat. Nagbukas ang laptop nya. Mapait akong ngumiti nang makita ang picture ko.

Bakit mo binigay ang laptop mo sakin Grey?

Pinakialaman ko ang mga files nya at natigil nang makita ang pangalan ko.

Elle Iverson Thompson.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko nang pinagsamang apelyido namin ang pangalan nang file.

Sinubukan ko itong buksan pero may password.

I just stared at it for almost a minute when something popped in my head.

I typed Elle0310 and the file opened.

Aug 01, xxxx

Fvck. I don't know how to start. I know that men don't usually do this kind of stuff but.. I guess I needed to write something. I am obliged to leave something for you when I'm gone. You were so special and leaving you with nothing doesn't feel right.

Peyn, I admit.. I don't really like you the first time I met you. Kakalipat nyo palang pero naiinis na ako agad sayo. Your father died. I wanted to hate everything in you but at the same time, I pitied you. You were so broken back then, I hope you wont do the same thing when I leave. I don't want to make you cry.

You were so jolly when we were little and that made me hate you even more. Bakit ba ang saya saya mo pa rin pero pag hindi mo alam na nandyan ako, ang hina mo? Hinahayaan mong nabubully ka, hinahayaan mong maliitin ka, pero tuwing kasama mo ako, ang tapang tapang mo.

I asked my mom to let me live alone. I wasn't surprised when you followed me. I wanted you to leave. I wanted you to forget me. I don't want to inflict too much pain. I am sick and someday, I'll leave this world.You told me you like me, hell. Why? I always hurt you. You know how much I disliked you. So why? Bakit ako?

Aug 08, xxxx

It was the first time that you cooked something for me. Hindi ka marunong magluto, pano ka na nyan pag wala na ako? Kung patuloy kang aasa, hindi ka matututo. Hindi habambuhay, nandito ako para tulungan ka. You need to learn. Kaya naman kahit meron ako, hindi ko ibinibigay sayo. You'll thank me soon for doing this.