Their Kind of Love | √

Chapter 15 √

[Kisses']

Tila naubusan ako ng hangin sa sinabi niya. Pakiramdam ko, hinihigop ako ng kanyang mga mata. I could've let myself get drown by those black orbs. But it isn't right. It's so selfish. Yes, I like him, but there's more important thing than that-- and that's friendship.

I took a step back away from him. Napayuko ako at dahan-dahang umiling. "Please don't play with my feelings. Iba na lang, Yuan..."

This is the first time I felt this way. Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko alam kung mababaw lang ba ang rason na 'to pero gusto kong umiyak. 'Di ko akalaing literal pa lang nakakasakit ng puso ang ganitong mga pangyayari.

Yuan remained silent for a while. Napahilamos sya sa kanyang mukha at napabuga ng hangin. I can feel his frustration. It frustrates me, too.

"Why do you keep on thinking that I'm just playing with your feelings? Do you know how hard it is to accept that I'm now being crazy over you?" Madiin niyang tanong.

Here he is again with his words. His words that can move my heart no matter now hard I try to stop it.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. "I don't know. Do you really expect me to believe what you're saying? Just weeks ago, you don't even know who I am. You don't care about my existence. Now, you're telling me that you like me?"

He sighed on frustration for the nth time, "So that's it? You questioned my feelings just because that? Gaano ba katagal bago mo masasabing totoo 'tong nararamdaman ko? I'm willing to wait."

Alam kong nagpipigil lang siya ng galit ngayon. Ugh. Is this seriously happening? Nakakahilo sa bilis ang mga pangyayari.

"Maybe you're just infatuated? Who knows, right?" I shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. When truth is, in every word he's saying, sobra ang nagiging epekto sa 'kin. And I'm close to... close to give in to him.

"I'm gonna prove to you that my feeling's so real. I'm gonna court you." Determinado niyang sabi.

I would be lying to myself if I say that I don't like what he's planning to do. I can't explain what I am feeling right now. It's not just butterflies in the stomach-- it's more like fireworks in different kinds and in different colors-- destructive yet wonderful. I love how it feels pero hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, dapat unahin ang sarili.

I tried to act tough, "You don't uderstand, do you? It's not just about how true your feelings are for me, Yuan. Hindi ko kayang manakit ng ibang tao lalo na ang malapit kong kaibigan. 'Wag mo naman na akong pahirapan, oh. Let's just stay as friends. Please." I said in desperation. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko kayang piliin ang tama.

Napaawang ang kanyang mapupulang labi, "Pinapahirapan kita?"

I nod slowly, "I don't want to hurt Ate Mary but if what you're telling me is true, then I'm hurting you right now. And I don't want that. Hindi ko gustong saktan ka." Kahit ako na lang ang masaktan. 'Wag lang kayo.

"I can bear the pain if it's gonna be you and me in the end." He said softly.

Napapikit ako ng mariin, "Yuan, please? Maging magkaibigan na lang tayo, okay?" Pagod kong pakiusap.

He clenched his fist. "Fine." He answered and I felt like my heart's been crushed. "But I have a question and I need you to answer it honestly." He said, his eyes now void with emotions.

I licked my lower lip. "Okay."

I don't feel good about this but I can lie anytime, right? I know I promised him that I will be honest with my answer, but this is the time that I need to consider first what are the consequences of my answer will be.