Lost In The Moment

Fourteen

"Hank!" I called and Nate's tour manager turned around, smiling when he saw me.
"Hey Kelsey! What's up?" He asked and I tucked my hand into my pocket.
"Do you know where Nate went?" I asked and he shrugged.
"I'd check the motel down the street," he said and I nodded.
"Thanks!" I called walking away.

"Is there someone staying here under the name Nate Feuerstein?" I asked and the lady behind the counter typed something into the computer.
"Yea," she replied looking up at me.
"Which room?" I asked and she sighed.
"21," she said and I smiled.
"Thanks," I said walking away.
I opened a door and walked down a hall, counting the doors until I got to number 21.
"Nate?" I called as I knocked on the door and I heard someone walking around. He unlocked the door and opened it, wearing just the jeans he was for the show.
"Kelsey! I thought you were going out," he said and I shook my head slightly.
"Change of plans," I said and he nodded.
"Uh-um come in," he stuttered, stepping aside and I walked in.
"You ok?" I asked and he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
"Yea, fine," he replied and I nodded, looking around.
"You sure?" I asked, seeing the mess the room was in.
"Yea I just wasn't expecting..."
"Shirt?" I asked and he stopped and looked at me.
"What?" He asked and I held up the grey tee shirt he was wearing. "Oh! Uh-um y-yea thanks," he stuttered and I smiled, tossing it too him. He caught it and pulled it over his head as I picked up a lamp from the floor and placed it gently onto the desk.
"And you're sure you're ok?" I asked, turning around, and Nate was right behind me. He grabbed my neck and roughly pulled me closer to him.
"I'm fine," he said through gritted teeth before kissing me roughly, biting my lip as he pulled away.
"Nate...?" I whispered and he cocked his head, his other hand on my stomach as to push me away.
"What?" He asked and I tried to step back but his hand was immediately on my back, holding me against him.
"Nate please let me go, you're scaring me," I whispered but he kept his grip and kissed me again, this time more gentle.
He kissed me again before pulling away, his blue eyes cold and angry.
"I don't get you," he spat, tossing me onto the bed.
"What?" I asked as loudly as possible with the air having just been knocked out of me.
"You say you want to see me at my worst and help me through it but now what? Huh? All you're doing is cowering like a child!" He shouted and I sat up a little, brushing my bangs out of my face.
"Like a child hey?" I heard myself ask and Nate nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh so like you did when your Whatever beat you? Hm? Like when he tossed you into the floor or the bed and said he was disgusted with you? Like when you cowered like a child? Is that what you're comparing me too? This piece of shit before me? The one who swore he'd never do that and the one who is gentle and caring but has a temper?" I asked angrily, pushing myself up off the bed. "I love you Nathan but I will not be in the relationship if you insist on treating me like this," I said a bit more softly and his eyes softened as he stepped forward, closing the distance between us. I flinched away when he reached out to touch me making him stop.
"I'm sorry Kels," he whispered and I nodded, caressing his cheek gingerly.
"I know you are," I said softly and he buried his face in my neck, hugging me. I rubbed his back and shushed him for a while before he pulled back and smiled at me.
"I love you too Kelsey," he said quietly and I blushed, looking down nervously. "Are you ok?" He asked and I nodded.
"You mean that?" I asked and he nodded slowly.
"Of course I do," he said, "I've never loved someone as much as I love you Kelsey and if that scares you then we can take it slower," he said and I smiled.
"Slower?" I laughed, "if we were going any slower we wouldn't be dating."
"If that's what you need, we could just be friends," he said and I shook my head.
"That's the last thing I want," I whispered and he smiled, kissing me gently.
"It's the last thing I'd want as well," he whispered and I kissed him again.
I ran my hand into his hair as he placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer.
After a minute he gently laid me down on the bed, crawling on top of me and slowly running his hands up under my shirt.
"Nate?" I asked, pushing him away, "what're you doing?" I asked and he sighed.
"Kelsey..." he breathed kissing my neck.
"Nathan," I said, pushing him back again.
"I thought you wanted this," he said and I sighed.
"I don't if you don't," I said and he nodded, resting his face in my neck. He sighed quietly before sliding his hands out from under my shirt and brushing my hair from my face. "Nathan?" I whispered and he kissed my neck again, gently making his way up my neck to my jaw.
I let out a little moan and wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling his face up to mine and kissing him.
He smiled slightly as he undid my jeans and pulled them off before I tugged off his shirt.
I ran my hands up and down his bare back as I kissed him roughly. Nate tossed my jeans to the floor and ran his hands through my hair.
Fighting every natural instinct I had, I put my hands on Nate's chest and pushed him away.
"What's wrong?" He asked, panting a little.
"I can't let you do this Nate," I said and he chuckled.
"What?" He asked and I sat up, forcing him into a sitting position with his legs around my waist.
"I can't let you do this," I repeated, brushing my bangs from my face.
"You think you can stop me?" He asked and I stopped and looked at him.
"You have your beliefs and I'm not going to let you give into the flesh and it's desires," I said before looking away. "Damn I actually said that," I whispered and he laughed.
"Yes, you did," he said before kissing a path of his choosing from my cheek to my lips.
"One day you'll thank me," I said, pushing him away. He nodded, playing with the v-neck of my shirt. "Nathan," I said, taking his hand in mine.
"I love you Kelsey," he said and I nodded.
"This is not how you prove it," I said and he nodded, kissing my hand.
"How do I?" He asked and I smiled, leaning forward and kissing him.
"You know," I said assuredly.
"Do I?" He asked and I nodded.
"You've been offering to do it for me since we started dating," I said and he smiled.
"Taking it slow," he said with that gorgeous smile on his face and I nodded.
"That's right."
"You look beautiful tonight," he said quietly and I stroked his cheek gently.
"Flattery won't get you anywhere," I said and he nodded.
"I meant it," he said, playing with my hair. "You look... beautiful," he breathed and I smiled, blushing a little.
"I'm sorry for treating you like that," he said quietly and I kissed him. It was a loose kind of kiss, mostly just for the contact than the actual act of kissing.
He placed his hand on my cheek, kissing me again, the other hand slowly sliding the sleeve of my shirt off my shoulder.
"Nathan," I said warningly, pulling away and grabbing his hand from my shoulder. He chuckled, ducking down and kissing my jaw gently.
"What's wrong?" He asked quietly and I sighed, suppressing a moan.
"Control yourself Nathan," I said, feeling his warm breath on my neck.
"You gotta meet me half way Kels," he said and I laughed.
"Nate," I laughed, resting my forehead on his bare chest. "I am meeting you half way. We talked about this, sex is off the table," I said and he smirked.
"You're right it is, it's on the bed instead," he said and I chuckled, shaking my head.
"Oh my," I sighed and he started playing with my sleeve again. "Oh god," I said before taking my shirt off. He ran his hands up my sides as he kissed me.
"There's another place where you need to meet me half way," he said pulling away, and I smiled and sighed tiredly.
"I know, I'll stop," I said and he nodded.
"Thanks Kelsey," he said and I smiled as he ducked down and kissed me again.
I ran my nails gently up his back and into his hair as he kissed me and he kept one hand on my side, moving the other onto my neck.
After about a minute of kissing he laid me down and kissed my collarbone before rolling off of me and laying on his back.
"I like that bra," he said shyly and I smiled, looking down at the black and pale blue lacy bra I was wearing.
"Yea?" I asked and he nodded.
"Yea..." he whispered and I crossed my arms over my stomach feeling a little self conscious about the weight that I'd been putting on since Nate got me to start eating regular meals.
"Good to know," I said and he blushed a little.
"You look good," he said and I raised my eyebrows. "Healthy," he said and I nodded.
"Yea..." I said before rolling over and grabbing one of the pillows, shoving it under my head. "We don't leave till morning," I said and he smiled, rolling over and resting his arm over my waist. He smiled and kissed my arm before we got under the covers.
The next two hours we spent talking until I fell asleep with his arms around me.