Lost In The Moment

Fifteen

Over last two weeks of tour it seemed like Nate was avoiding me so I let him have his space and hung out with Jen doing the things we used to do for fun. Main ones being bar hopping and pool hustling.

After two weeks straight of getting drunk every night and performing the next it was starting to get old.
"Kels! Come on! Why aren't you dressed?" Jen asked, slipping on her jacket, and I looked down at the shorts and tee shirt I changed into after the show.
"I'm not going," I said simply and she sighed.
"What'd you mean your not going?" She asked and I shrugged. "Of course you're going!"
"I think I'm just gonna hang out tonight," I said and she nodded slowly.
"Ok, I'll take Jonny then," she said and I nodded.
"Do that, he's probably feeling left out," I said and she laughed
"Probably," she said before kissing my forehead and walking away.
After they left I put on my headphones and scrolled through my music a couple times before reluctantly playing Warm Up.
I got up and made a pot of coffee, grabbed my laptop, and got changed while the coffee was making.
I slipped into a pair of workout leggings and one of Nate's tee-shirts I'd stolen, gathering it at the back and putting a ponytail in it before tucking it under the back of the shirt so it actually fit. I pulled my brown hair into a careless braid before pouring myself a cup of coffee and sitting down at the table.

I sat for half an hour trying, and failing, to write a song before I got up, slipped on my leather jacket and a NF baseball cap, and headed out.
I walked around the city for a bit before getting on a subway headed for uptown.
"This seat taken?" Someone asked and I shook my head, putting in my earbuds. The person sat down beside me and sighed and I smiled at them quickly before doing a double take.
"Nate," I breathed and he smiled, his blue eyes sad.
"That's me, yea," he said and I smiled, chuckling a little.
"What're you doing here?" I asked and he shrugged.
"What're you doing here?" He asked and I nodded.
"Fair enough," I said and he gently took my hand in his.
"I'm sorry for being so distant lately," he said quietly and I smiled, caressing his cheek with my free hand.
"You had personal stuff to deal with," I said shrugging.
"I know but I shouldn't have dealt with it like that," he said and I nodded.
"You're right, you should've included me in your struggle," I said and he nodded, his eyes fixed on my leg. "And now you know what to do next time," I said and he looked up at me. "Keep me in the loop," I said quietly, leaning in a little, and he nodded. "This is a two way thing Nathan, I let you in and you let me in."
"I'm just scared of hurting you again," he said quietly and I smiled at him.
"I can handle myself Nathan," I said and he nodded.
"You said you live in Chicago?" He asked after a few minutes and I nodded.
"Yea, four hour drive to Michigan," I said and he raised his eyebrows making me blush slightly.
"And you know that why?" He asked and I smiled at the floor.
"Reasons," I said and he chuckled, placing his finger beneath my chin and tilting my face towards his.
I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and he gently stroked my jaw before pressing his lips against mine. I parted my lips, deepening the kiss, and he moved his hand down from my jaw to my neck and kissed me again.
I pulled away and giggled a little.
"Wanna get off?" I asked and he nodded, standing up and offering me his hand. I took it, interlaced our fingers, and followed him off the train.

We walked around for a couple hours before stopping to get frozen yogurt around midnight.
After, we went to the subway station and found out that the trains weren't running this late so started on our way through the French city back to the venue.
"Jen mentioned that you might've been..." he started and I smiled a little.
"Raped?" I asked and he nodded. "Yea I was," I said and he looked at me shyly.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked and I shrugged.
"Do you?" I asked and he shrugged.
"Not if you don't," he said and I chuckled.
"I got drunk and someone I knew took advantage of that," I said and he nodded.
"That's all?" He asked and I sighed.
"I... yea, that's all," I said and he nodded again, stopping. I stopped as well and looked up at him.
"Kelsey, you can tell me anything, you know that right?" He asked and I nodded.
"Two way thing," I said and he nodded.
"Two way thing," he repeated and I smiled, tugging on his hand, prompting him to start walking again.

Around 2:30am we got back to the venue and parted to go to our different busses.