Quotes 'n' Stuff

Mean Quotes! Ch~11~

Insults and Put Downs

512. If shit was music, you'd be an orchestra.

513. You should do some sou-searching. You might just find one. 

514. He is so short that when it rains, he is always the last to know. *Option way to say it: replace "he" with "you"

515. You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I'd love to hang you.

516. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

517. Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?

518. I can tell that you are lying-your lips are moving.

519. This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.

520. If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder-it would be an apocalypse!

521. Make somebody happy. Mind your own business

522. You are not as bad as people say-you're much, much worse. 

523. Talk is cheap. But that's okay-so are you.

524. You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.

525. Your mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.

526. You're the best at all you do-and all you do is make people hate you.

527. She has more faces than Mount Rushmore.

528. People would follow him anywhere... But only out of morbid curiosity.

529. If truth is stranger than fiction, then you must be truth!

530. Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

531. Is that your head or a hotel for lice?

532. Why don't you do something different to your hair? Like wash it.

533. I have seen gargoyles with nicer faces.

534. Everyone looks up to somebody, but you look up to everybody.

535. Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

536. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

537. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

538. Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.

539. If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

540. Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission.

541. I may be fat but you are ugly, and I can lose weight.

542. You're a legend in your own mind.

543. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

544. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.

545. They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

546. I'll hit you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!

547. So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

548. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

549. Are your parents siblings?

550. You are so stupid, when you heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, you went out.

551. No amount of hair dye will fix this level of stupid.

552. I would make fun of you, but I don't think you'd understand it. 

553. Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go. 

554. Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. 

555. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.

556. Love to look at you; hate to listen to you.

557. All that makeup at make you look good, but it won't make people like you. 

558. You know what they say about guys with big muscles: (pause for effect) small dicks.

559. Let me guess, your parents didn't hug you enough as a kid.

560. If you're gonna be a smart ass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass. 

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One more exam! That would be on Tuesday, so I have all weekend plus Monday to update! 

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked the insults!

Next chapter is pick up lines. ;) 

~Sammy