Funny Quotes
222. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
-Or-
223. Dear Math, I'm sick and tired of finding your "x". Just accept the fact that she's gone, we don't know "y" she left anyway.-Unknown
224. They say love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?-Unknown
225. The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walbut says, "I look like a brain," and the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?" The coconuts agreeed with that.-Unknown
226. What I do when I see someone pretty and stare and smile at them, and when I get tired, I put the mirror down.-Unknown
227. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.-Emo Philips
228. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.-Unknown
229. I know the voices in my head aren't real, but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely amazing.-Unknown
230. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.-Albert King
231. Love your enemies, it makes them so damn mad.-P.D. East
232. You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.-Dave Barry
234. The road to success is always under construstion.-Lily Tomlin
235. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.-Unknown
236. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.-Joey Adams
237. He who laughs last didn't ge \t it.-Helen Giangregorio
238. The man who smiles when things go wrong has a thought of someone to blame it on.-Robert Bloch
239. You never run out of things that can go wrong.-Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
240. If there is a wrong way to do something, someone will do it.-Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
241. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?-Edgar Bergen
242. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.-Steven Wright
243. A joke is a very serious thing.-Winston Churchill
245. Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.-Jerry Garcia
246. Camping is a nature's way of promoting the motel business.-Dave Barry
247. If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.-Jared Kintz
248. No matter how old, or badass you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.-Unknown
249. A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil because she wants to see what she's getting.-Unknown
250. Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main resaons I have trust issues.-Unknown
251. A man came to my door and asked if I could donate to the local swimming pool and I cam back with a glass of water.-Unknown
252. Looking for your knife? You should try my back. That's where I've seen it last.-Unknown
253. I don't exercise. If GOD wanted me to bend over, he would put diamonds on the floor.-Unknown
254. Your face. I like that shit. (y)
255. Evil is just live spelled backwards.-Eminem
256. The thing about smart people is that they seem like crazy people to dumb people.-Unknown
257. Fuuny how just when you think life cannot possibly get any worse, it does.-Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
258. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button, you'll be disconnected.-Every Girl
259. Time is precious. Waste it wisely.-Unknown
260. A man talks dirty to a woman, and it's sexual harassment. A woman talks dirty to a man, and it's 3.95 a minute.-Unknown
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Quotes 'n' Stuff
RandomIf you're looking to smile, cry, think about life, or take a trip down memory lane with some song lyrics then click here and read this book. :) Hope you enjoy!
