Insulted / Bullied By Dan and Phil

17 | Reverting

- WARNING - TRIGGERING CHAPTER, INCLUDES DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM -

- 2 Days later -

Dan's POV

(Y/N)..

She was on my mind, nothing else just her. Her beautiful facial features and body, the way she jokes and is so nice and caring.

I am angry at Phil but I can't be after what I've done and he's a way better person than me. It's my fault I'm already making their relationship really awkward.

Suddenly a loud knock boomed on my door, which made me click out of dreamland, soon to be pushed open slightly by someone.

There appeared her, (Y/N). The light of my life.

"Uhm.. Hi Dan, Phil and I are popping out for a little, you want anything?"

"N-No I'm fine.." I sighed looking anywhere other than her eyes, it would just hurt me more.

"A-Are you sure?" She asked, I heard her stutter.

Gosh why do I ruin everyone's lives?

"I'm sure, bye." I said quickly, wanting her to just leave me.

"Okay, s-see you in about two hours." She smiled faintly, then proceeding to shut the door.

When the door clicked shut I let out a huge sigh, "Go and have fun, enjoy your life.." I mumbled under my breath, looking back at my laptop open at my recent video I posted yesterday.

There were comments screaming stuff like, 'Dan's not acting right.'

Phil had still not told the internet about his and (Y/N)'s relationship, so there were also the comments like, 'Phil has a new boyfriend so Dan is sad.'

I heard the closing of the front door and I let out a few cries of pain and sunk down until I was lying down on my bed staring at the blank celling.

- Flashback (Because these are needed in dramatic stories) -

"Fuck I am such a stupid cunt." I cussed angrily, crying like an insane idiot (which I was), hitting my head against the wall, painted black.

I stood up properly and looked over at the bathroom door, and then rushed over to there slamming the door and locking it, grabbing my razor and sitting on the toilet seat.

"People say.. this relieves you from pain.. l-like the pain and s-stress I'm g-going through.." I said shakily, sounding like a psychopath as I jabbed the razor in engraving a big cut, I jabbed it in a little to hard resulting in a loud unsatisfactory moan.

It was relieving, it was just something about seeing my own blood that calmed me down.

My parents were out at work, my brother was on holiday with his best friend and I was just here suffering in silence.
Not even Phil knew that I was this deep in pain, shut off the razor and threw it in the sink, my arms still shaking I stared at my bloody arms and felt the tears pour out my eyes and fall onto my cuts, making my arms sting violently.

"I f-fucking h-hate what my life was come too.." I cried, looking at my blood dripping onto my leggings.

-End of Flashback -

Suddenly I heard my phone vibrate from across the bedroom, I eyed the bathroom door I could see across the hall.

There was a notification from my best mate Chris,

'Hey mate, how are you? I saw your new video and you seem agitated.'

I decided to reply back with a, 'Heyy Chris! I'm doing great, and I recorded that video after watching a sad movie, so that explains the weird kind of sad vibe.'

Of course that was all a lie, look at the state of me, my life.
I felt tears trickle lightly down my face as I kept thinking deeper into the flashback.

I walked into the bathroom, spotting the razor on the side. I hadn't done this in about three years, three years clean. But I want the relief, it's my body.. I can do what I like to myself.

"For being an absolute p-prick Daniel.." I mumbled quietly, concentrating.

In about five minutes I had engraved loads of cuts onto my upper arm, then noticing my phone was vibrating from across the bathroom. I tiredly trudged over still crying, looking at my bloody arms with despair.

Phil had also texted me, saying that they would be back in about ten minutes as something had happened.

"Shit.." I mumbled, my voice still high pitched and shaky.

I quickly rushed over and cleaned up my razor, then the toilet and the floor, quickly racing out to change my jeans as they had splotches of crimson blood stained on them, I threw the dirty pair into the wash bin.

I cleaned up the floor an toilet seat and looked at my arms, blood still seeping out of the cuts slowly.

I breathed heavily, panicking. I yanked some toilet roll and wrapped it over my arm, then covering it up with the sleeve of my black jumper.

I heard the door close, then Phil's voice happily calling to me.

"Hey Danyul! We're back!"

I walked out of the bathroom casually and into the hallway where Phil and (Y/N) were, hand in hand.

It broke my heart still, even though I was happy for Phil.

I tried to smile at the two, but I obviously failed.

"Dan why are you crying?" (Y/N) asked worriedly, taking a step towards me as I stared at the floor.

"I-I'm n-not crying!" I retorted looking up and wiping my eyes.

"It's obvious, there are tears dripping down your cheeks, what's wrong?" (Y/N) said sarcastically yet sympathetically.

"I-It's nothing." I mumble, fiddling with my sleeves.

I can feel the blood dripping down my arm, making me shiver.

"I feel so fucking bad, I'm s-sorry!" She whined, looking into my eyes.

"It's not that.. it's something else.." I lied, turning away and heading back towards my bedroom.

I heard (Y/N) sigh in disappointment and Phil mumble something which I was too focused on getting to my bed to hear.

I shut the door and dived onto the soft sheets, lying down and staring at the celling once again, then turning over into a pillow.

I started mumbling a sad song, (YOU CAN THINK OF WHAT SONG, IM THINKING OF HOUSE OF GOLD BY TOP AS THAT'S WHAT IM LISTENING TOO RN) I felt tears slowly ascend from my eyes once again.

I grabbed my phone and saw that Chris had replied.

'I don't believe you Daniel.'

I ignored him, Chris did try and always help but I really wasn't comfortable telling him about this.

I tried to think of something else.

Vidcon... phandom... (Y/N)... Phil... Protip... memes... (Y/N)... YouTube.. Pewdiepie... (Y/N).. mcr... top... death... death .... end it all.

I want to end it now, but I feel like I would regret it.. even though I wouldn't be able to regret it as I would be dead.

What am I fucking doing with my life? I'm letting my heart control me.

A/N: Two chapters in one night, you lucky little shits. Well technically it's already the next day rn as I'm writing this at 00:32 and the last chapter was posted on the 12th Feb in the 23rd hour.

This chapter was a bit more deep, so if I've gotten anything wrong please say because I'm not an expert with this stuff.

Apart from that I hope you're still interested.

Thanks for reading, please leave your ideas as I need them, love youu byeee!