What you know (Hamilton cast)

Ten

^Carleigh Bettiol

The question was just about therapy. When I could go. Tuesday mornings.

It's now Tuesday morning and I'm sitting here, looking at a stranger, listing dumb facts about me like my age, where I was born, and my interests. She asks me some more personal questions, like about my parents.

"My mom tried to kill us both. To save us from my dad and a life of poverty. I threw up the medicine she gave me after tricking me into thinking I was sick. She died but I lived. My father was arrested for sexual abuse."

"Who found out?"

"When I learned it in school I asked a really dumb question. I asked if sex could be between parents and kids." Thank god I spent most of it on dumb facts and I don't have to go into it today. I am able to leave and get something to eat before going to the theater. I don't want to be there early. I don't want to eat there. Tommy gave me two weeks but I have ankle weights. Five pounds each, I can wear them on my thighs under a skirt. I did it in high school a few times.

I get a small salad and eat it at the counter alone and then continue to the way to work. I don't miss warm ups but I am the last one there.

"How'd it go." Lin asks in the hallway after.

"Okay." We continue past each other to get ready for the show. After the show is over, I hang out on the set with Betsy. I do a few sets of turns because I want to practice but not so much that I'll be sore.

"Those were nice." Anthony says from the wing.

"Thanks."

"Are you taking dance classes?"

"So long as I teach when a substitute is needed, I can." It's a good deal. And all this turning in making me miss it.
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And now I'm back at the studio on Monday. I know that our bodies need a rest, but I physically can't. Besides, Jessica, one of the younger teachers here and a member of a small company, is here today too. She used to take classes and went to school with me.

"Are you gonna break your record?"

"I can't. I was sixteen and dancing over sixteen hours a week." Turns were my favorite. I broke the school record three times and I did them everywhere. I still do when I get the chance. It's on my resume as a special skill. I was obsessed from the time I was twelve with adding more turns.

"Ready." She says, lifting my phone. I set in fourth position and plié. Then I push off. I spot quickly, trying to get around as many times as I can. I hit nine and I know that I'm about to fall so I do one fouetté and do four and a half more turns but fall off the box of my point shoe when I'm only halfway around the last time. "You cheated." I shrug as she outs my phone down. "That was still amazing."

"Thanks." We continue using the studio until noon and go for a small lunch. I listen to her when she says to post it on my Instagram.

Back to killing shoes with @jessicaturnalot

She laughs and I put my phone down and continue to eat my half of a sandwich. I've been a little lightheaded lately but I'm okay. I spend the rest of the day on my bed, watching TV, glad my boyfriend finally got the picture. Well, for now at least. I fall in and out of sleep until four I'm the morning when I'm up, drinking tea, and answering snapchats. I get one back from Sydney.

S: Go to bed!

K: Never😈 y u up?

S: Went to bed too early. U?

K: Slept all day

S: All?

K: Most of

I put it back down and watch TV in my dark apartment until the sun comes all the way up and I go to therapy. She asks about high school and I'm honest. My job is awesome! I don't wanna lose it. So I tell her about those years, which weren't all that bad. I danced on a scholarship, Mr.Gray helped me with singing, and I did fine in school. It was outside of it that was a problem. And that was those two familys that I mentioned before, a group home, and the effects it had on me. Again. Out of time, thankfully.