What you know (Hamilton cast)

Seventy-two

"I told her to invite him to dinner a few times. She still hasn't." Vanessa says as we stare at the ceiling in bed.

"She's been spending a lot of time with him."

"Not necessarily. She's pretty busy."

"And every moment that she's not, she's with him."

"Are you jealous?"

"No. I'm happy. I just wanna get to know him." I play with my watch for a moment. "Is she at Jacksons, again? Please say Jessica's."

"She got back while you were in the shower."

"Oh. Has she come out? Should I check on her?"

"If you want. She's doing better. You don't have to worry like that."

"Do I seem worried?"

"Not really."

"Exactly. I haven't seen her today." I bring my legs around the side of the bed and walk out and to her room, knocking twice before pushing the door further open than the crack.

"Kels?" I see her sitting at the desk, resting her hand on her head. "Hey. I haven't seen you at all today. I didn't even know you were here."

"Vanessa told you I came back?" She says, without moving from her position.

"Yeah. How was class?"

"Fine."

"What else did you do today?"

"Nothing much. Schoolwork. You?"

"Just the show and some writing." She nods.

"You alright?"

"Lin."

"I know you hate that question. We just haven't talked in a while. And I don't hear much from your phycologist. Other than the fact that you aren't ready to move out."

"I didn't say I was gonna."

"Vanessa said-"

"She said no."

"She didn't tell me about that. Just that your phycologist said no." She shrugs. "I want you to have more than teaching for next to nothing and the occasional other opportunities before you leave. I'm not sure what your phycologist wants." I wait to see if she will tell me but she doesn't. "Okay. Well, goodnight."

"Night."

"Don't stay up to late with that."

"Alright." But she probably will.
-
"Creep." Jazzy teases, startling me.

"I just want to make sure she reacts okay."

"Lin, they've kissed like that for a while now."

"Well, you're watching too." We are peering around the corner where Kelsey is meeting Jackson. It's not a very long kiss, but I'm afraid. Her back is against the wall and he's holding her hands. She's vulnerable. But she's okay. But I'm still scared. Even if Jackson seems nice. I don't know how Kelsey will react to anything more than what they've done. I don't even know what that is. I just wanna be there if she breaks.
-
"It's warm out." Kelsey says, handing Sebastian another page to write on as he sits on her bed next to an open window. The two of them were awake while V and I finally slept in.

"You did not just say that."

"What? It's nice outside. You should take him to the park or I'll gladly take him if you have to work. But it's sunny and it finally feels like spring, even though it snowed like two days ago."

"You're talking about weather."

"What? Come on. You aren't surprised that it snowed after April fools day? That like marks the start of spring. And then it snowed!"

"You just established that our conversations will be no more interesting or enjoyable than an elevator exchange."

"Because I spoke about the weather?" I nod. "Your logic is flawed."

"I don't think it is."

"Then what do you want to talk about."

"Not weather."

"Okay."

"Let's go to the park." She smiles and lifts Seb up and starts to get him ready.

"You're gonna make a great mom." She looks distant for a moment and then continues to velcro Sebastian's shoes.

"Thanks." I feel like I said something wrong. I know that not being able to have her own kids bothers her more than she lets us know. I try to talk about anything deeper the whole time but it's like I'm talking to some girl on a bus who never knew me and will never see me again. It's pointless. She's not saying anything. And I can't make her.

This happier facade is clearly strong enough that only Jackson can break it now. And he can bring along Jessica, Aden, and Lilly. Those names that come up more often than anyone else. What do they know? Can they tell us anything about her? Can they save her while I just watch, unable to do anything.