What you know (Hamilton cast)

Three

"Just leave me alone." I say before hanging up. I stand out of bed and make a cup of tea. While I wait for it to heat up enough, I answer my snapchats. I just send a picture of the teapot to anyone I didn't answer and then add the herbs. When it's done, I out some in a bottle that I place in the fridge and some on a mug as my phone buzzes.

It's a snapchat of Jazzy captioned.

J: Child what are you doing up?!

K: I'm nineteen! My mind is older

J: Very funny. Why don't you ever send selfies? That was a teacup!

K: why are you up?

J: Anthony's next to me and he's snoring.

K: 😏

J: We were going over notes.

K: Sure you were.

She sends a picture of binders at the end of the bed.

K: Well that's boring. I'm gonna get some sleep. Gn. and just give him a nice kick

J: I would do nothing of the sort! Gn.

Shit, I think I bruised his shin

K: no proof that i told you to do that.

*screenshot

K: duck you

J: duck? Quack.

K: shit i need sleep. Bye.

I turn off my phone and lay back in bed. I reach into my drawer and pull out my teddy. Oh, just let me be a little girl, okay? I love him and I don't care if I'm nineteen. Teddy is the best!

Especially when theres no one there to hold you as you tremble or cry yourself to sleep almost always. I wake up with Teddy on the floor and swing my sore legs around to the side of the bed as the sun breaks through my suck ass curtains, turning my room bright which is actually kinda nice. Like I have a luxurious life in the upper east side with a nice apartment. I put Teddy back in the drawer and take my anxiety meds and antidepressants. Half the dose to save money because it will take longer. I stand up and walk to my closet, pulling my shirt over my head and putting on a sports bra, new underwear, leggings and a blue shirt with a geometrical heart. I grab a sweater that's too big and put it over my shirt. I wash my face, brush my teeth, apply some makeup, put on my shoes and grab my bag and a grab my tea from my little fridge. I hate the first part of my commute since I hate walking around here alone but it's warmer than usual so it's nice once I get closer.

"Hey." Ariana says as I put my bag down and take off my sweater. Shit. I forgot to cover up my arm. I take out my make up and grab the concealer. "Holy shit, Kelsey." I hear Ariana say.

"I was fifteen. I'm fine now." She watches me cover up the fading white lines on my wrist with the concealer. I'm pretty sure the other three people in here, Neil, Betsy, and Daveed heard what we both says so I try to hurry so that they don't see me covering my arm and then using set spray to ensure that it doesn't come off the best I can. I see someone stand up where my eyes aren't focused in the mirror but probably Daveed based off of where he is and he steps up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened." He asks as I put away the concealer.

"Nothing." I look over at Ariana as I'm sure he did to. She doesn't say anything and I put my make up bag away.

"Cafecito!" Someone yells and everyone basically wrestles out of the room. I can wait a minute. I take a breath and look up at myself in the mirror.

"God, you're such and idiot Kelsey." I grab my phone off the table and step towards the door. Lin looks at me concerned from the door. I stop dead in my tracks. I wan't to send myself flying out the window real quick. I don't want to lie but this is my job. So why don't I lie. Lie to him, Kelsey. I hate you so much right now, you know. Oh wait, I always do. I sigh and walk out past him. He just shuts his eyes when I approach between him and the door. When I look back, he is still facing the room. I head up the stairs to get some Cafecito.

"You drank it all?" I ask, half laughing. Javi hands me a small cup.

"I set this aside when I didn't see you."

"Thanks!" I say, surprised. I sit down next to Carleigh and we start talking about high school.

"You must remember it well."

"Less than three years ago."

"You're so young."

"I've heard that enough around here."

"Well, you do really well and get along with everyone great so, It's not a problem." That's why I need to be careful. I mean, Pippa only looks at me with pity anymore and it's awful. I have to fix that sometime. I'll just be more careful.