What you know (Hamilton cast)

Fifty-eight

"So you heard all that?" I nod. "You're not ready to move out." He says as we walk down the street together.

"I never said anything about moving out. I knew you wouldn't agree."

"Even if you're not saying because of that, you need to understand that you're not ready. You're therapist agrees. She's also concerned about your physical health."

"How much did she tell you?"

"Not a lot. She can only say so much. But she is concerned that you are doing too much while you are just starting to nourish your body."

"I'm not doing too much, Lin."

"Really? Because it's not just her. The entire cast is concerned. You haven't spent any time with anyone."

"Jessica-"

"From the cast. And from what I can tell, you don't spend much time outside of the studio with them. You're up late or come home late every night, We haven't exchanged more than four words in quite some time, and we find you asleep every time you're at the theater."

"I just want to get my degree."

"And then what? You get a job and keep up with that crazy schedule of yours?" I shrug. I haven't thought much about it. I've just rushed it. "Look, to make it in this business, you have to be busy. But not so busy that your body gives out. Or your mind."

"Okay, Mr.Writer of Hamilton and In the heights, and Twenty one chump street, and now Moana."

"I also didn't attempt suicide or get raped fifteen times." I chuckle, sadly. "It's more than that, isn't it?"

"It wasn't all rape."

"Did you say 'no' or not?"

"Most of the time. But I didn't always. I don't wanna talk about it." I look ahead but I see him looking at me. "Don't pretend that you didn't get more done this week than when I was around." I turn the subject back to what it originally was.

"Not really. And that's not what this is about." I sigh, giving up. "You haven't spoken to Carleigh in forever."

"I text her."

"Yeah, well she's concerned because you're ignoring her questions and not answering calls. I'm going to force you to get coffee or something with her. Don't lose your friends." We walk in silence for a while.

"Thanks again for letting me live there."

"You know you wouldn't if you didn't have to."

"I can leave, Lin. I'm an adult, believe it or not."

"You're still an adolescent."

"Until nineteen. And you're not much older than a millennial. Like five or six years or something."

"I'd be at every corner if you continued to work in this profession, tracking you down."

"Um, yikes." He laughs.

"I hear about new musicals and I hear who's in them. I'd find out. Anyways, I just want you to rest a little more. Spend some time being twenty. It doesn't last forever."

"I survived without a childhood."

"Do you resent them for taking it from you?" I walk slightly fast, looking away from him and not exchanging another word.
-
Lin's POV
"Stay alive." Pippa sings. Kelsey looks up from her computer and resting her head on her arm.

"Do I really look that sleep deprived?"

"Yes." Daveed, Anthony, Pippa, Sasha, and I say, looking up from our lunches.

"You need to relax." Pippa says, taking the stressed girls hand. She tries to pull in away and back to her computer but Pippa won't let her. She sighs and shuts her computer.

"Can I steal her for the night?"

"Steven is away?"

"Yeah."

"But tonight-" Kelsey starts.

"That's not your class. You don't need to teach it. You work plenty to be able to use that studios and take classes so don't even try."

"I can get there at nine thirty."

"Kelsey." She whines. Kelsey shuts her computer and slides it into her bag. "You can't. You're gonna get hurt."

"I'll be careful." She says, standing. We watch her leave the room, concern probably laced in all of our expressions.

"They make her work too much. She can say 'no' but she never does."

"I'm not even sure that's where she's going." Daveed says.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Not doing anything bad but keeping stuff from us."

"Like Jackson."

"I think she's putting him aside too." Pippa says. I throw my head back.

"Why is she always doing something to hurt herself?"

"She's young and depressed. You knew what you signed up for."

"I want to help her. I just don't know if I can."

"You got her back on her feet but she ran. Now you have to slow her down."

"How? She doesn't get it."

"She get's it, Lin. And she doesn't want to hurt you. It's why she doesn't come to any of us immediately. What she doesn't get is that she hurts us more by doing that."

"Not always." Sasha says. "I'm glad that I know stuff now, but it hurt when I found out. More than wondering if she was okay because I knew she wasn't."