What you know (Hamilton cast)

Fifteen

"Maybe you should be a ballerina." Jessica says. I laugh. I can turn a lot but while she was trained ballet, I was less focussed on that and learned other types more frequently. It's what I needed to do for musical theater.

"Yeah, no." I walk to my stuff and put on my sweater, pulling out the pins so my hair is in a ponytail. Then I take off my shoes and skirt, put on my leggings and grab my stuff. We go to a coffee shop near the theater since I have to be there next. I get a cup, one cream, no sugar, talk for a little while, and then go over to the theater. I do work for a little while, talk, get ready, warm up, perform, go home, go to sleep, and wake up a little weaker and sadder every day. Some days I have rehearsals, some days I don't dance with Jessica, but overall, I'm in this cycle for a month. And soon enough, there are scars on my upper thigh as well. But fresher.

The addition to this routine, the only once who can throw it off, is  Randy, my boyfriend, or still thinks he is. He never touches my face but sometimes, when he gets drunk or angry and forgets that someone might ask, I end up having to cover my arms better. Also, he never asks if I want to have sex. He just choses.

"You don't talk as much." Carleigh says one day when I feel as if my heart has sunk to the bottom of my rib cage and my stomach is blue, feeling sad-wise and on the surface. I don't even feel like answering but I have to. I end up shrugging. She looks suspicious but finishes her make up. I again feel like I am going to pass out in the first act so during one of those few breaks we get, I eat a cookie with Thayne. I make it through the show but I feel like I might cry before I leave. It's really unhealthy, but I'm mad that I ate it. And when I get home, Randy is there. I ask him to leave but of course, he doesn't.
-
Lins POV
I watch Kelsey walk past the room, eyes down, again. Tommy does too.

"Kelsey." He says. She appears in the door a moment later. "Are you okay, hun?" She looks at me and then back at him.

"Yeah." She says softly.

"Step in a sec." She does and he stands up and asks her to take off her shoes, putting down the scale. She sighs and does so.

"What do you have on under this?"

"Um, a tank top." She answers quietly.

"Can I ask you to take off the sweater." She looks like she wants to protest, maybe ask to have a doctor or someone weigh her instead of us, but she's terrified of losing her job. At the same time, she looks like she's about to so she does what he says. Then she steps on it. I don't see the number myself, but Tommy takes a sharp breath. "You cheated your last weight." She looks down.

"Nineteen pounds since we met you." He says. She steps off and puts on her sweater. "I'm putting you on leave. Two months." She nods, her head still down. "Kelsey, look at me." She hesitates but then does. "You're very talented, but if you're too weak, you can't perform. You're going to get hurt." He sighs and gives her a hug. "I'll see you then, okay?" She nods. "Take care." He leaves the room. She looks at me and then away and puts on her shoes.

"If you need any help-"

"I'll be fine."

"I'll check in."

"Thanks." She says, almost in a whisper.
-
Kelseys POV
"Oh my god." Carleigh says as I take down a drawing, a picture of my cousin and I, and put my make up in my bag.

"I'll supposably be back in two months. But I doubt it."

"What do you mean? Why wont you be back."

"I'll be replaced. It's theater, it happens."

"It won't here! I promise." She watches me finish and zip up the bag. "We'll see you over the next two months. I'll text you if we go to dinner or something, okay."

"Thanks. Bye." I put my bag over my shoulder and leave.