What you know (Hamilton cast)

Thirty-seven

Kelsey begins to stir. She wants off of her back and her face is braced with pain. She whimpers as I look up from my book, watching to see if she's okay.

"Morning, Kelsey." I say when her eyes open. It's still pretty dark outside but Sebastain woke me up and then I couldn't get back to sleep. I explain this to Kelsey when she asks why I'm reading here.

"Oh." She pushed herself all the way up, rubbing her eyes.

"Are you okay? You seemed in pain."

"I'm fine." She says mindlessly. Asking her the three words, are you okay, is like hitting a button that makes her say, I'm fine, automatically. "It was just a dream."

"What about?" She shrugs.

"Ghosts." She says, not caring about what she's saying. I doubt that she dreamed about that and I don't know why she would wake whimpering in pain from that.

"Can I take a look at your back?" I ask.

"Why?"

"You were in pain. Please."

"I fell down the stairs heading to the subway yesterday. That's why it hurts." She says, quietly. "What time is it?" She asks, looking at the window.

"Four-thirty."

"Shit. I have to go." She says, slipping on her shoes and jacket.

"Go where?"

"Home."

"How come?"

"I just have to be." She says, standing and pulling her hair out from under her jacket, hurrying to the door. Where would she have to be at this time.

"Go where?" I repeat. She's out of the door faster then I could say, "What's wrong?"
-
I watch Kelsey brace herself for a dip with her dance partner on the empty stage with the exception of them two, Andy, Tommy and I and whomever needs to get to the other wing, crossing over. It looks painful.

"Bring your left leg a little more forward and before that, cross your leg over a little bit faster." Says Andy. She does as said. He shakes his head.

"It doesn't look right. Are you okay, Kelsey?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can I just try that again?"

"Yeah. The way it used to work. I don't know what's going in right now." She repeats it. "Much better." She releases her hand from her partners and he realizes his from her waist. She smiles, glad that she finally got it. He asks her to do it again to make sure that doing it right wasn't a mistake. She does but coming back up, bites her lip. "You alright?" She nods, not looking at him. "Have Anna take a look at your back. You're flexible but that can be a curse when it comes to back injuries.

"I'm okay." She assures him.

"Okay. Well, tell me if your not and you're free to go." My concern dials down when I see her laughing with everyone just ten minutes after, before she heads out with Phillipa and Carleigh.

The next week goes well, but I'm informed on Saturday, that Kelsey is out.

"What?" I practically yell at Tommy.

"She wants to focus on school and she had a job offer outside of theater."

"What?" I say again. I thought she loved theater.

"And she's injured. If you couldn't tell."

"I could tell but she kept saying she was fine."

"She's always said she was fine. She's never been fine. Lin, she's changing to another job. One that she can rely on and she's never had anything sturdy in her life." This is sturdy.

"Is she still here?"

"Yes. But she only told me so everyone else finds out now."

"How long have you known?" (Don't do it)

"I let her out in her contract long ago. Her swing will take her place as we train the new girl."

"What about her final bow?"

"She didn't want anyone to really know." I rush out of the room and downstairs, knocking on the girls door.

"Decent." Someone says. I walk in and straight to Kelsey. Carleighs arm is swung over her shoulder as she puts the last of her things in her bag.

"You can't leave." She turns and looks at me, her sad eyes digging into mine.

"Lin, she'll still be in New York. You're still her non legal dad." Sasha says, but she seems upset herself. Carleigh lets go and lets me give her a hug. She's all bones but I try to ignore it and hold her. She's smaller than I remember.

"You will still text us everyday so we know you're okay. Meet for coffee and many other things okay. We aren't losing touch." Ari says once she pulls back.

She rushed out after a quick goodbye. I don't see her for two weeks.