What you know (Hamilton cast)

Twenty-four

"Kelsey?" I asked, pulling my head up. She leaned with her back against the door. My glance at the clock told me that it was almost four and it wasn't impossible for me to hide that she woke me because of the darkness. I hoped she assumed that I was just awake anyways.

"I quit, Lin." She said without any aspect of drama. No BANG, I'm out. Just two words said as any other two would be said, and my name attached on the end. Not loud enough to wake a mouse, but enough that I could understand her words. I could see her in the moonlight. "I'm sorry. I'm done."

"No, Kelsey. You can't quit."

"Or what? I'm fired? I'm done with theater. So fire me because I'm not coming back."

"What do you suppose you'll do?"

"Anything but let people down again."

"Almost everyone in this business has issues and pasts that haunt them. You can't just quit after you make it."

"Make it? Lin, you know that I'm not going to get back up there. Tommy would never allow it."

"You're giving up. And you actual had a chance to show how strong you are. I guess you're weak now."
-
Why did I think that would work?

Where did I get the idea in my head that she would take fight that and work to get back?

"God, Kelsey." I say, taking the pack out of her hand before they get in her pocket. I knew she'd be around here. She wasn't there when I got there this morning. Carleigh, Jazzy, and Anthony are walking out of the store, just as my hand wraps around her wrist.

"You found her." Carleigh says. It wasn't much of a search. I know where she lived and there's a connivence shop on the corner. She tries to wriggle free but she is physically weak.

"I'm sorry, Kelsey."

"You said the truth. And those aren't for me. Could I please have them back?"

"I believe you. I'll accompany you to whomever they are for."

"Could you just let go of my wrist, please. It's really humiliating being here right now and I know that I deserve it but please."

"I thought saying that might work. I panicked."

"You can't quit, Kelsey." Jazzy says, approaching her. "Can we at least talk to you?" She bites her lip and nods. I step aside to let her lead the way. She walks to the door and opens it. The building is familiar to me now. She has to push the door with her knee and hip to get it to open since it's old and doesn't fit the frame perfectly. The place is neat. Her bed is made, the counters are pretty empty.

"Want anything to drink?" She asks. Hanging her keys and tossing the cigarets onto a folded pile of clothing that I don't recognize as hers. "I have water, orange juice, and cider." She sounds like the's trying to keep up her manners as a host but is tired and doesn't really want to talk. She's dreading this. We ask for water and hands us each a bottle.

"You okay?" She nods.

"Headache." She says, opening a bottle of aspirin.

"Have you eaten?" It's been two days plus most of today since we had a show earlier.

"Yeah." She says, before slipping it in the medicine cabinet. She looks very sick and tired.

"Why don't I believe you?" She ignores me and tells us that we can sit or stand if we would like.

"You're really quitting?" Carleigh asks. Anthony walks over to the books on the side.

"I'm still going to be in classes." She says to him. She looks back at Carleigh. "But yeah. Theater." Anthony continues to look at her books as we make our way over to the edge of her bed and the seat, leaving a spot on the edge of the bed next to me open for her and the foldable chair for Anthony who joins a moment later. She finally relents and joins. "Look, I've been a nuisance for a while now. I'm done and I sort of have somewhere to go, so you don't need to come or even think about me. I'll be fine so you guys can leave." Our response to that is simply not leaving. She gives up waiting after a few minutes and gets up to go in the bathroom. I hear nothing but the sink, twice, for several minutes as we quietly talk but she never shut the door because she wasn't actually using the bathroom and I can somewhat see her just staring at the sink. She returns and sits back down, listening to us for a few. Then comes a knock on the door.