Wattpad Block Party - Winter Edition III

BrendanOlenick Presents: Q&A About a Bunch of Mildly Interesting Things

Post Title: Q &A withBrendanOlenick About a Bunch of Things That Are Maybe Slightly 

Hello, everyone. I'm BrendanOlenick and I couldn't be happier to be here. First of all, before we even begin, I really want to thank the readers of the Wattpad Block Party. Thank you for supporting all of these wonderful writers. Thank you for making us feel like our work has meaning. Additionally, thank you to all the other writers involved. You all are such sweethearts and gentle-folk; I am not ashamed to say that I adore each of you - albeit from the distance of the other side of my laptop screen. Bless you all, my dears.

So what I'm going to do here today is I've brought in my real-life friend, whom for the duration of this post I shall refer to him as Q, as he prefers to remain anonymous. (I told him it's not like anyone would even know he is, but he claims he likes to maintain an air of mystery. Whatever that means. Okay, Q. I get it. You're too cool for me. Well THAT'S JUST FINE THEN.) Anyways, I've invited my buddy Q over to conduct an interview with me. What you'll be reading is the complete transcript of our interview. All I told him is that he just needs to interview me as if he's writing a magazine article about me or doing one of those blog guest features. "I'll take it from there," he told me gladly. Great. Well, this should be fun. Let's commence.

Q: Are we ready to get on with this?

Brendan: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Might as well. I have to turn this Block Party post in pretty soon, so I better have something good to show for it.

Q: So you've resigned yourself to the fact that probably won't happen? Good. Acceptance is the first step.

B: Hey.

Q: @BrendanOlenick and the Pursuit of Mediocrity. There, I've already titled your interview for you.

B: Isn't the interviewer supposed to be non-biased?

Q: Alright, alright. Back to interviewer mode. Don't get all bent out of shape.

B: *in Donald Trump voice* You're fired.

Q: *in a better Donald Trump impression* Wrong.

B: Can't argue with that.

Q: Okay, first tell us a little bit about yourself. Wanna start with that?

B: Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Umm. Well, I'm from somewhere in the mid-west of Canada. The weather here right now is awful. As we speak, it is currently minus thirty-one degrees celsius. For those of you in other countries, that's about MINUS TWENTY-FOUR degrees fahrenheit. Do you believe this garbage?!

*takes deep breath*
Okay. Okay, let's move on. Talk about something else. Umm. I'm twenty-seven years old. Which is either pretty young or pretty old depending on how you look at it. It's that age where you're still kinda young but you're really not that young anymore, and you're getting kinda oooold but you're really not that old yet. So, like, directly in the middle of life in a way. That's how I feel.

Q: Well, you've certainly started this off in an interesting direction.

B: Sorry. Yeah.

Q: Any other interesting tidbits you might wanna include? So far you've ranted about the weather and about your age. Your readers are getting an accurate depiction of your lameness, so you're doing great, buddy.

B: Asking you to do this was a big mistake, wasn't it.

Q: Probably, yeah.

B: Where can I file a formal complaint?