Trying Again

Chapter Thirty-Nine

SR:

"I....I errr....I....", he began.

OH NO. Not those words....don't confess don't confess don't confess!!!!

Shit.

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"I just wanna tell you that I love you. I honestly do. Know why I have been gone for so long? I needed to make sure about how I feel about you. Everything you do, does something to me. You're special. You're something different. I don't know how to explain it to you, you just have to be me to know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry for leaving for so long. Those days  I was gone, I kept thinking about you. Everyday. I don't know if you believe me, but its true. Be mine Celina. I really want you. You seem like you're the one for me".

The whole time he was saying that, my brain only thought of 'shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit freaking shit!!'

I can't reject another guy! I just did! How could I do it again?

"Ken...listen...I need time to think about this. Could you come back at 4pm when my rehersals for my club is over?", I told him, I honestly could not tell him this now.

"Then you'll tell me?", he asked. I nodded.

"I gotta go...er...class...", with that I walked into the halls, I turned around and saw him punching his fist in the air. He's so happy. Oh man.

When I entered class, Liam was sitting there, smiling at me. He's so sweet...and I broke him....

"Hey", he said cheerfully. Oh gosh..I can't stand this cheerful him! I rather have him slap me or just hate me to death. Guess the saying 'killing your enemy with kindness' makes perfect sense. I smiled back and looked down to my table, thinking about what can I tell Ken later.

Its true that I liked him, but his irresponsibility of just leaving whenever he wanted made me think, would he leave me like that one day? If our relationship got so well until marriage, and he just disappears, leaving me at the alter. The coming back months later saying that he left because he wanted to make sure if he really loves me. That will earn him a tight slap man!

But breaking two guys' hearts really makes me feel so damn bad. Who am I kidding, it is bad! But taking a guy because of sympathy is even worst. Gah!! What is a girl to do in situations like this!!

Before I knew it, the bell rang. School is over. Not wasting a single minute of my free time before rehearsals starts, I got to the dance studio and started warming up. I then began to rehearse the ballroom dance we learnt a week ago. It felt really stupid dancing alone, but I don't really wanna spend extra time with another guy for now. What if he confesses and I have to reject too?! I can't do that!!

"You know you need a partner to rehearse.", Luke's voice echoed in the studio, but I didn't bother and just continued dancing, "Don't care, I like to dance alone. Call me forever alone.", I said cheerfully. I don't know why I'm cheerful in the first place. He just chuckled and went to a side of the studio and started stretching.

Trying hard to make sure he doesn't dance with me, I began to danced a piece I choreographed myself. Luckily, he didn't try to join. Good.

Maybe it was the frustration I kept bottled inside of me or I just really liked dancing, but I was really focused in this dance I made. The expressions and emotions I have really shown it. As I danced in front of the mirror, I can see myself ever so clearly. The expressions I have, the emotions I'm letting out through my dance, all so foreign. I see myself, but I couldn't stop myself. I kept going and going until Luke grabbed me by the waist, stopping me immediately. I let out this breathe I didn't know I was holding as I came back to present. I shook my head, while catching my breath.