Damaged

Part 15

It's been a blur, coming home from the shelter. I remember buying a bunch of stuff for Morena, my new dog. I remember getting in the car, making sure I turned off the radio and getting home, and putting out all her stuff out. Sercretly I was grateful that it's been a blur because I know if I allowed myself to think about what had happened I couldn't handle it.

I know it was still early in the day, but I knew that I had managed to hold myself together for this long, but the pain was starting to hit me again. And so when I got in my bed, Morena next to me, I allowed myself to lose it. My breathing became more sporadic and I felt tears streaming down my face.

I felt Morena's body tense up a minute before I heard the knock at my door. At first I thought that I was making it all up in my head. Wishfully thinking right? That maybe somehow someone was here for me to comfort me. And I know that it wasn't just anyone I wanted right now. I wanted the person that had made me feel like this I let another sob rack over my body. I didn't even try to pull myself together because I really did think I was making it all up in my head. Until another knock came and a voiced called out with it.

"Chris?"

I jumped out of bed in surprise and headed to the door. I was to afraid to open it, to afraid to revealing to the figure behind the door just how much of a mess I was right now.

"Lys? What are you doing here?" I tried my best to sound normal, but my voice cracked at the end.

"Christen Press open this door right now." She demanded out. I sighed out hearing how serious she was and slowly opened the door.

Her eyes immediately locked with mine and filled with worry. "What's wrong Chris? What happened?"

Her worry, caused new tears to come down my face. She just pulled me into her arms holding onto me. She didn't let me go, but she slowly backed into the room kicking her shoes off, and making it to my bed. She put me under the blankets and climbed in after me. Holding me in her arms again I rested my head against her chest.

"What happened Chris?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Which was definitely a lie. I wanted to tell her what happened, I wanted to talk with someone about it, but because it was Tobin I knew I couldn't.

"You don't want to talk about it or you can't?"

"I... I" I stuttered out not knowing how to answer.

"Chris you can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge you, I'm not going to stop being your friend, and I'm not going to stop caring about you."

Out of all my friends Lys might be the only one that I can actually talk to about this. She is one of my closest friends here and unlike the others she wasn't directly connected to Tobin. I mean yes she played with her and yes she was friends with her but they weren't best friends like Allie or Alex. And I trusted Alyssa, she was more cautious than most of my other friends, she was more methodically in everything she did and I know that if I asked her to keep quiet she would.

"If I tell you could you not tell anyone?" She nodded quickly. "I mean like you can't tell anyone, especially not the girls." She paused longer this time, but still agreed.

"I don't know where to start exactly." I realized exactly how much I have kept from her.

"Start at the beginning Chris."

"I still talk to Tobin." I whispered out. I saw her teeth clench and pain flash in her eyes for a second. I could tell she wanted to saw something, but she didn't. She allowed me to continue and for that I was grateful because I wanted to get it all out at one time.