Damaged

Part 24

Tobin's PoV

I watched as Chris walked out of the room. Somewhat relived and somewhat disappointed.

I was relieved though that she wasn't really that angry with me. I didn't mean to make her so upset I just thought I should try to comfort her after her and Alex broke up. I am happy that me deciding that I should probably stay just in case she did want someone to talk to didn't make her more angry. I know how she tries to push people away especially when she is upset, but I also know that she needs people in her life.

And I really want to be one of those people.

Its hard to admit, but I am kind of disappointed in how upset she seems to be about their break up. I know it's dumb, but I was hoping that she would be kind of relived in a way. I know that sounds awful, but I knew how unhappy she was in her relationship with Alex.

At least that's what I told myself was the reason.

But I knew that the real reason I wanted her to be happy about the break up was that I wanted her to be happy that she could be with someone else. Specifically me. I wanted her to run into the house straight to me and kiss me or tell me that she likes me as more than a friend. I wanted her to tell me she wants me. I wanted her to tell me that she loves me.

And right now more than being relieved and being disappointed I am confused. There are a few different possibilities of what has happened floating around in my head.

One, the delusion in my head of the fairy-tale romance ending where I thought Chris broke up with Alex to be with me. And we would finally be happy together. That going to the diner today for lunch together will finally be the start of our relationship. This one obviously didn't happen.

Two, the confusing as fuck version where Alex told me that Chris like me after their break up.

Flashback

I was standing in the mudroom waiting for one of the girls to come back from outside. I was trying to give them the privacy they deserve, but I still wanted to be close.  I was honestly hoping they break up, but I was trying not to get my hopes up. In the mean time I thought about what had just happened with Alex.

She told me that she still is in love with me and I told her that no matter what I will always love her.

And I did mean what I said, I just wish I would have said it differently. I will always love Alex. Because for every bad thing she has done to me, she has also given me so many good things.

But I knew for sure that I am not in love with her anymore. I don't get those butterflies anymore when she touches me and even when she admitted to still being in love with me, my heart didn't flutter the way it used to. And I know the reason was because someone else had my heart.

Christen. Just thinking about her makes my heart skip a beat.

I heard the door close and I moved closer to it trying to see who was coming in. I saw it was Alex and she had tears coming down her face. I immediately reached out for her and pulled her into an embrace. I don't say anything but I just held her, that seemed to be enough for her because she pulled back after a few minutes and looked up me for a second before talking.

"Toby, you aren't in love with me anymore are you?" She barely paused before continuing. "Chris and I broke up. We thought that with everything that has happened it's probably for the best.....She makes you happy again doesn't she?" She asks me barley pausing not even letting me answer her. " And that's what I really want for you Tobin after everything I put you through I want you to be happy again."