Damaged

Part 40

At first, it was difficult for both of the girls.

It was hard right away. It was difficult for the girls to once again leave their little bubble and get back to the real world. It especially was difficult to get up off the field, where the met, became friends and started to fall in love with each other and head to a party to have fun when they both were scared about losing each other for good.

Yet, they learned that just because they were taking a break from each other doesn't mean they don't have things to celebrate. They have all their friends. They both have graduated from high school. They both have schools that have accepted them for next year.

And even though they managed to have a good night that night didn't mean it got better for both of them right away.

It was difficult for Christen when she would hear from her coaches for both the national team and from college and immediately want to tell Tobin and then the inevitable loneliness when she realizes she is the one who wants space.

She learned that just because she didn't have Tobin, at least for right now, didn't mean she didn't have anybody. She learned to be more open and honest with her friends and not only open up when they ask her questions but to take initiative and express herself to them on her own.

It was difficult for Tobin when the day would be coming to a close and the fear of not having somewhere to sleep crept in. Christen told her she could still live in her house, but Tobin knew they needed more space for right now.

In the beginning, it was scary, she was worried about what bad habits she would fall into, but she never had to find out because every night she'd have multiple offers for all her teammates to stay with them. And eventually, she learned that just because she didn't have one house to return to doesn't mean she doesn't have a home. Because whenever she was with people who cared for her she felt like she was home.

It was difficult for Christen when she misses her mom so much and she misses talking to Tobin because Tobin was able to relate about missing parents. But she learned that she could actually talk to someone who knew her mom and she had never been able to do that before.
Her dad stuck to his word and was there supporting her. She learned that he wanted to be involved in her life whether that was traveling with her for soccer or making sure she was setting everything up with her school. But the main thing was she gained a parent, and part of her even felt like she gained some of her mom back to because her dad was able to tell her things about her mom that she had never known before.

It was hard for both girls when they would each finish a therapy session and want nothing more than each other to hold each other and just be there for each other, but they knew part of this therapy was them learning how to be independent and not rely on each other for everything.

They learned that just because they couldn't be so dependent on each other anymore didn't mean they couldn't lean on each other. Christen would often find a flower in the kitchen after her sessions. Every time it was a new flower and she would find a piece of paper asking her to rate how much she likes it. It kept going until she would find bouquets with all her favorites. Tobin would often find random little doodles in even more random and impossible places. On her longboard, her favorite soccer ball, in her pants pocket, in the covers of the current book, she was reading. Every single one of them was a surprise and Tobin can't for the life of her figure out how Christen did them without her ever see them being done, but every single one of them put a ridiculous smile on her face.

And even though they were surviving, they still missed each other, they still needed each other, and they still wanted each other. Especially as time went along and their lives started to move forward. When they both had to take steps towards their future they couldn't help but feel the sadness of not being able to do it together.